Just wanted to share..

Hey guys,

I just wanted to share my thoughts with you before going to sleep. Coming home from Dreamcon has been bittersweet to be honest… Going back to TX reminded me of my times there. I even started to appreciate even the time I had of living alone from the chaotic situation of getting there. Driving past my old apartments made me wish I could have extended those experiences and left me wondering what would be different if I stayed in them. Being around all of those people trying to create content/live stream at the convention and even just from hanging with my friends during that time caused a lot of emotions that I haven’t fully unpacked. I came home a mix of anxious and motivated, ready to get back in action and then bam! Another roadblock. My friend’s cat destroyed my bed with poop and pee all over it. This destroyed all of my good thoughts and the headspace I was in, I’m still angry about it now if I’m being honest.

I checked out WuWa just to try something new. I thought it would get 100 views on the channel, and for the first full stream playing, I ended up with over 110 viewers combined YT/Twitch playing this game. On the second channel, not doing a reaction. I don’t care if this is solely from this games hype, or if it’s only due to my reaction to the trailers. I don’t stream fr and I haven’t made gaming content since I was 17. This is something I never thought could happen and this is a small feat that 13-17 year old me would have been very happy with.

From talking to YouTube employees at the con, venting to friends and battling the “reactor” mindset. I left feeling like I haven’t offered anything of my creation to y’all, only by commentating upon others’. Im not changing anything, but I hope that I can try doing things like this in the future that may be new or different to try to create anything and share to the world.

I am still glad that despite all the red arrows trending downwards on my youtube channels and Patreon, some of you are still here. Consistent or not, I see so many familiar names and pfps. Caring about what I have to say, maybe getting a laugh or two from any stupid jokes I make. I’m still posting at all because of you guys.

Love yall man. 🖤