"Of course I'm fucking judging you, man. We've been roommates for - what? - a year now, and you are fatter than I have ever seen you. Yeah, I know you hate hearing the "f" word, but fuck it, dude. I can't just ignore the evidence standing right in front of me. You're fucking massive, man. Huge. Look at that gut, bro. I mean, are you kidding me with this shit? I went to borrow a T-shirt from your room the other day and the smallest size you have in there is 4XL. And I bet you haven't been able to wear that for at least six months, am I right? You just keep getting bigger and bigger and it's freaking me out. And the amount of food you put away? Thank God we don't split the grocery bills is all I can say. No wonder you're so fucking fat. And so damn lazy. You never do anything except slump on that couch playing those damn computer games and shovelling snacks into that big, round face of yours. I mean, how big are you going to get, fatso? How fat will you be when the reality of your obesity sinks in? If I weighed as much as you I would seriously get my shit together, man. Say, I'm about to get my workout clothes on and hit the gym. Why don't you come with me? You don't need to do much; just walk a little on the treadmill, whaddya say? Oh, you've just ordered takeout. Well, that's a fuckin' surprise. See ya later, chubs."
