“I’m raising a glass to you, baby. To us. To what we’ve achieved together. We’ve built something amazing. We’ve built you. Look at you, man. Look how fucking massive you are. Look how far back you have to sit from the table because your belly is so goddam huge; how your rolls of heavy fat spill out everywhere. They had to bring you a bench to sit on because you’re too fucking obese for the chairs here! Two years, baby. That’s all it took to transform you from a 195 lb hunk to over 400 lbs of blubbery lard. So cheers, piggy. Here’s to the next 200 lbs!”
