"Hey man, you book an Uber? Cool, I'm Marco and I'll be your driver. What's that? Yeah, for sure you can sit up here, big guy. Much more comfortable here in front. You need some help gettin' in the car, big man? Okay, you got it? Awesome . . . Wow. I mean . . . Jesus. Oh, I'm sorry dude, but . . . I mean, fuck, man! You are fuckin' HUGE! I know I'm a big guy too, but you know what I'm talkin' about, don't ya, chubs? What the fuck you weigh, big man? Tell me. Come on, man. Ride'll be free if you do. Holy shit! 598 lbs! Fuck! An you're all BELLY, man. No fuckin' muscles on you, are there, fat boy? Just that big ole belly stickin' out there. Hey, can I rub it? For real? Okay man, if you're sure it's okay with you, how 'bout I drive us somewhere nice and quiet where you can pull up that - what is it, 8XL? - T-shirt and me and this belly can have a little fun, huh? Shit, we may have to stop at a couple drive-thrus on the way, huh piggy? Get that fat gut nice and bloated before I start rubbing it with these muscular arms. You like that? Sure looks like you do, you sick fat fuck."
