“I’m your roommate, dude - how could I not pick up on the fact that you’re always checking out my body? So I shower with the bathroom door open; so what? It’s not like you can keep your eyes off me *everywhere* in the apartment. Of course I’m body-confident; wouldn’t you be if you looked like me? I’m fuckin’ perfect, man. Ripped, trim, muscular, hot as fuck. Must be hard for you to even be around me, what with your “weight problem” and everything. That’s a fuckin’ joke right there, fat boy. Your problem is that you’re a greedy fat fuck who spends every waking hour sat on that couch gaming and stuffing yourself with greasy crap. Aw, poor fatty. You gonna cry? Truth hurts, fat boy. You’ve got no one to blame but yourself for how massively obese you are. Just don’t ever make me watch you take a fuckin’ shower, you sack of lard: looking at all that soaped-up flab jiggling would probably make me puke.”
