HUN Chapter 45: The Psychological State of Crisis

Lin Yu'an curled up by the stove, the dancing flames stretching his shadow long across the rough stone wall.

He felt something was wrong with his body. Waves of cold seeped out from his bone marrow, his forehead began to burn, and his temples throbbed with a dull, swelling pain.

"Damn it... could it be that I caught a fever from getting soaked in yesterday's rain?" Lin Yu'an cursed silently in his heart.

His heart sank as he reached out with the back of his hand to feel his forehead. It was indeed burning hot, but he dared not show any sign of his fever in front of the camera.

Lin Yu'an struggled to get up and walked outside the shelter, away from the camera, where he rummaged through his space's first aid kit to find a small pack of fever reducers and anti-inflammatory medicine.

The bitter taste of the pills spread in his mouth, matching his current mood.

"I have the space now, I absolutely cannot stop here! Absolutely not!"

Lin Yu'an collected himself. He had already recorded physical weakness in the afternoon, and following the usual pattern of past contestants, psychological vulnerability should appear next.

He turned on the camera and continued recording his "weakness" material, but what he was recording now was more about displaying psychological "weakness."

Lin Yu'an picked up the gill net that had been destroyed by the waves, tangled with water plants and mud. The mesh lines were broken, looking like a pile of worthless garbage! He irritably threw it aside, making a dull "thud" sound.

"Even you are working against me!"

He growled lowly, his eyes bloodshot!

He just sat there like that, allowing negative emotions to grow and spread in his heart.

Time passed minute by minute, and the air in the shelter seemed to freeze, creating an oppressive atmosphere that made it hard to breathe.

Lin Yu'an began talking to himself in front of the camera.

"Am I really... just going to give up like this?"

"Honestly, when a person is wrapped in negative emotions, they inevitably start reminiscing. It makes me think of my childhood."

He suddenly spoke to the camera, as if also talking to himself, "Guys, do you know? My childhood... was actually quite hard."

He picked up a broken mesh line, unconsciously twisting it with his fingers.

"I... I didn't have a birth family. As far back as I can remember, I've lived with my current family."

"That family treated me decently at first, but after they had a boy, my so-called 'little brother,' everything changed."

A bitter smile played at the corners of his mouth.

"Starting from age ten, they constantly drilled into me that I had to consider my brother, I had to give way to my brother, I had to take care of my brother... I became a veritable servant in that house."

"Washing clothes, cooking, feeding pigs, working in the fields... all the work that someone my age could or couldn't do was piled on me."

"The man who bought me often got drunk, and when he was drunk, he would hit people. That woman and I were both targets for his venting."

"The bruises on my body, blue and purple marks, almost never stopped. Later, after that woman had been domestically abused for years and finally gave birth to a son, he restrained himself a little."

"Later still, their farmland was demolished for highway construction, they got a sum of money, and the family moved into the city."

"At that time, I was already thirteen and was left alone in the old rural house. For me, this period was the happiest time because I didn't have to work and could go to school in town."

He paused, a warm light flashing in his eyes.

"My first benefactor was my middle school principal. He was the only ray of light in my unfortunate childhood!"

"While that woman was sleeping, I secretly plucked one of her hairs, wrapped it in paper, and hid it."

"One day, I gathered all my courage and found Principal Li. I'll never forget his shocked and heartbroken expression. He didn't make a fuss but secretly paid for a paternity test with his own money."

"The result was as I suspected. I indeed wasn't their biological child."

"I'm fortunate to have met a teacher who truly educated people, and he was also a retired veteran! Military personnel are the most trustworthy group in our China!"

"Principal Li didn't immediately help me report to police or search for my biological parents. He had a very profound conversation with me."

"He said I was still young and not mature enough mentally. Rashly searching for my biological parents might lead to many problems and harm I couldn't anticipate, and in the vast sea of people, it wouldn't be easy to find them quickly."

"The best approach was to study hard first, make myself strong, and when I became an adult with independent thinking and living abilities, then searching for my roots would be more meaningful."

"He arranged for me to board at school, and on weekends I would stay at his house. The meals his wife cooked were the warmest taste in my childhood memories."

"From middle school to high school, for six whole years, the principal and his wife silently supported me."

When Lin Yu'an reached this point, facing the camera, complex emotions flashed in his eyes, gratitude mixed with reflection on fate.

"I often think that although my childhood was full of misfortune, I must thank my biological parents for giving me a reasonably intelligent brain and a strong body."

"It was precisely these that helped me get through that most difficult childhood and adolescence, giving me the opportunity to study and change my destiny."

He picked up the broken mesh line and began trying to sort out the tangled threads.

"Just like this broken net, it looks useless, but as long as there's still one good thread, there's still possibility for repair, isn't there?"

Lin Yu'an's movements became focused, as if all the dejection and anxiety were being stripped away bit by bit in this process of storytelling and sorting.

"My senior year of high school was another important turning point in my life, and also a very painful memory."

"Just when I was fully preparing for the college entrance exam, Principal Li, who had cared for me like a father, died in a sudden car accident..."

When he reached this point, Lin Yu'an's voice clearly choked up. He lowered his head, remained silent for a moment, then continued.

"This was a huge blow to me. During that period, I almost collapsed."

"I had promised him I would get into his alma mater, Tsinghua University, to be his schoolmate... but because of his passing, my emotions were greatly affected."

"My usual mock test scores could reach over 700 points, but in the final college entrance exam, I only scored over 680."

"I let Principal Li down. I didn't fulfill our agreement..."

He took a deep breath, wiped the corners of his eyes with the back of his hand, and tried to calm his emotions.

"During the college entrance exam period, the first thing I did was report to the police!"

"The police collected my DNA and entered it into the national missing persons database. They told me that once there was a matching result, they would notify me immediately."

"Later, I established my own household registration and left that so-called 'home.' Following his wife's advice, I applied to Texas Tech University and was fortunate enough to receive a full scholarship to come to America."

"Later... I met Aliya. She was like a ray of light, gradually erasing my unfortunate childhood memories."

"We fell in love, got married, and now we're about to welcome twins."

"This is also the most important reason why I would risk everything to participate in 'Alone.'"

His voice began to become firm and powerful!

"One million dollars could bring so much security to our future life. How could I easily give up!"

After he finished speaking, he looked down at the mesh lines in his hands that he was gradually straightening out.

"So my challenge journey is like life itself, and like this net. It's not yet time to completely give up! No matter how great the difficulties, I cannot easily surrender!"

Lin Yu'an's state of mind seemed to have undergone a baptism through memory and narration.

He had been reborn, had a powerful space cheat, and his physique had been enhanced! He could be said to be absolutely the chosen one!

How could he still be affected by the shadows of that unfortunate childhood?

Lin Yu'an's current mindset was more of a calm and resilience that came after experiencing hardships.

He began to repair that seemingly irreparable fishing net with extreme patience.

Every movement was so focused, as if he was repairing not just a net, but mending a life that was starting anew!

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