Chapter 382 - The Power of Daichi Hekima
Added 2025-03-02 17:10:34 +0000 UTC--------Orochimaru was too busy reveling in Shizune’s pain and focusing on Jiraiya to notice the ----------
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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1f_Xi9rZ9fSKoo0yK3zcLyaLyEnOb3W2_WFyXdEiRDYw/edit?tab=t.0
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Author's Note:
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Comments
Its good writing.
Rhett Sellers
2025-03-06 19:26:32 +0000 UTCI appreciate your criticism. There are some flaws in this arc, Now that I'm taking a look back. I'll try to make the future arc better.
Gamer4Life
2025-03-04 11:50:57 +0000 UTCI seriously hope orochimaru actually dies. It feels like orochimaru is almost a leading character with how many chances he's getting to come out of every situation alive.
Soraslove
2025-03-04 06:19:09 +0000 UTCBrilliant story and one of my top 5 Naruto fan fictions of all time so far. I can see in my head the scene of Daichi powering up and just smacking the shit out of Orochimaru. Only issue with it, is that there aren’t more chapters.
Dark Moon Gaming
2025-03-04 02:58:13 +0000 UTCMy main thought after reading this far is that it is too much build up for this arc. I can't possibly imagine any payoff that is worth that much build up. Think of it like the giant Fourth War arc that took up the back 1/4th or 1/3rd of Shippuden. No matter how good the fights and such were, the ending with Kaguya still was kinda meh and didn't live up to the build up. I feel the same is happening here. Right now, very close to 1/4th of your entire story is this single arc. I just don't see how it will be worth it. That is not to say the pay off will be bad, but it will probably not be proportional to the buildup. It doesn't help that a lot of the build-up is very heavy handed to force confrontations in certain ways. My main critique is third-fold. First, you should try to make the factors forcing confrontations more subtle. Maybe I can just see this stuff too easily as a amateur writer myself, but I could see you hand arranging things just so in ways that forced things to happen in certain ways. For example, the serum that causes Tsunade's wood style to act in a way that is entirely different than any other type of wood style experiment or even how this special wood crap was acting when Orochimaru was doing things. Or how all the sealing BS just so happens to force things to go a certain way to cause a big dramatic event where if an actual organic series of events happened things would already be over. Etc. This is mostly just a criticism around this particular arc. Not all your confrontations are this way, but especially the ones around the Orochimaru base. Second, a big part of the lack of payoff for me is that most of the payoff for the arc was given at the very beginning of the arc. We knew Tsunade was alive from the start. You spent so long trying to build up tension, but we, as readers, knew from the start Tsunade was alive (and we even got those Orochimaru experiment scenes), so tension building about Tsunade's fate is practically impossible. Next time you decide to hinge 1/4th of your entire story on a single plot thread, don't kneecap the tension of the arc from the very beginning. A much better approach for this sort of "race against time and the unknown" plot is to actually keep the fate of the target unknown to the readers. You already did this with your Phatom Thief and Poisoned Minister plots, so I don't know why you didn't do it with this one. Maybe because Tsunade was an important character so you felt you had to show her perspective or something? Either way, it probably would be better if next time you keep the mystery and tension of this sort of plot. Thirdly, you probably shouldn't have made medical stuff one of the main focuses of the MC/fic and have constant plot points around it if you don't have a decent understanding of how biology/medicine works. It doesn't ruin the story, but it is very jarring to read about medical word salad that does work that way that immediately breaks SoD and forces you to remember you are reading a fictional story in the middle of an important scene. Imagine one of those terrible Hollywood hacking scenes, but that was the entire plot of multiple acts of the movie instead of a minor plot detail. With all that said, just because something isn't perfect doesn't mean it is not good. I am saying these things in the spirit of constructive criticism. I have enjoyed the story so far (enough to give you $15), even if I feel this particular arc is not your most impressive. I eagerly await what comes next.
StrangeCrest
2025-03-04 02:49:28 +0000 UTCReally hope Daichi actually shows them all what he's made of, otherwise what's the point of all his strength if he never uses it?
DragonBoy.EXE
2025-03-03 12:56:48 +0000 UTCMerci pour le chapitre.
Legnas
2025-03-03 07:13:56 +0000 UTCDaichi outsmarting Orochimaru is sooo damn satisfying
Notplayingone
2025-03-03 06:29:17 +0000 UTCOn that note, Orochimaru has now found out why the phase 'Fuck around and Find Out' is a thing. He's been doing that a lot, Jutsu, People, Immortality and Tsunade. In the original timeline the only time it went bad for him was with Itachi then Sasusk. Here, he's not going to get a third chance. Dude's only hope is probably Kabuto... probably. Not sure how good or goofed his Curse Mark is Currently.
Menzorian
2025-03-02 23:23:50 +0000 UTCHaha, if that didn't kill the bastard he's going to feel a loooot of pain before he passes. Orochimaru was feeling death the pounding on the door, Daichi just helped it kick the door in.
Menzorian
2025-03-02 23:06:30 +0000 UTCYESSS FUCK that was satisfying can't wait for more Monk!!
Slimymic
2025-03-02 22:31:42 +0000 UTCI wanted post this chapter as fast as I could
Gamer4Life
2025-03-02 19:51:06 +0000 UTCThank you
Gamer4Life
2025-03-02 19:50:45 +0000 UTCWhile at times it feels like your too caught up in the fine details the story is and always was great till this point and i am fairly sure it will continue to be that way in the future so keep up the great work Monk Thank you for sharing with us 😁😁😁
Shin
2025-03-02 19:47:03 +0000 UTCGood sir, that punch at the end was so damn satisfying!!! While I wish we had less of a slow burn, what have you put in has fleshed the story out so much more and made it a more of a complete work, so I can't overly complain in that regard. Thank you very much for the double chapter, and I can't wait to see both the beatdown and the reactions that are about to occur!
Rem Freeman
2025-03-02 19:39:32 +0000 UTCThank you. And I plan to see this to the end
Gamer4Life
2025-03-02 18:08:11 +0000 UTCThank you for the double chapter update. Monk, I have never had any complaints about your story except for that I always wish for more chapters. You have written the characters, the action, and events beautifully. Be proud of this amazing story of yours. My only wish other than more chapters is that you never abandon this story. Keep up the incredible work.
Radiant Tiefling
2025-03-02 18:05:50 +0000 UTCMy thoughts? F*ck the truck that put you out of comission
Malong
2025-03-02 17:51:51 +0000 UTCUghh, finally getting my fix. Thanks dealer!
Wiggy
2025-03-02 17:40:50 +0000 UTCLove the story so far and I know when re reading this story I’ll love the arc but it’s pretty long atm
Austin
2025-03-02 17:25:08 +0000 UTCYESSSSSS DAICHI FINALLY GETS TO SHOW OFF
Livingston Vincent
2025-03-02 17:23:53 +0000 UTCOther than that, amazing chapters, definitely worth the build up to them
Aliya Genesis
2025-03-02 17:17:47 +0000 UTCI was about to complain on the last chapter about the cliffhanger, and then I saw you poster another chapter… that also ended on a cliffhanger, you are evil for that
Aliya Genesis
2025-03-02 17:15:12 +0000 UTC
