Chapter 323 - Daichi Strikes: Root Under Siege 01
Added 2024-04-26 16:01:23 +0000 UTC---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MD9prCLETJkz07su0Stx8JqS6lEwjS0ZfgHLqddjVHA/edit
Comments
This is it. Finally time to reap the fruits of Daichi's years of rigorous training. No hesitation, just focus and efficiency. A man (ninja) on a mission. Especially nice attention to detail Monk, and the whole chapter feels more cinematic, rich in description with colourful vocabulary. It really shows how much you have grown as a writer, and it is greatly appreciated. Keep it up. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter and conclusion of Root vs Leaf.
Zsolt Putnoki
2024-04-27 12:27:59 +0000 UTCI agree with you ending sentiment. I do appreciate the occasional pov shift, but entire chapters or several chapters in a row of other POVs feels like it drags the pacing down. The novel is centered around Daichi, focusing on his perspective is better imo. If you want to include what other characters are doing you could try sprinkling the info into conversations or having Daichi discover things about what other characters were up to. Foreshadowing like the Orochimaru bits is fine because it's pushing the plot forward, but for example seeing a bunch of different perspectives of the same event for the Rookie 9 for example felt like it dragged that arc on for longer than it needed to. Overall write what you want, it's your novel after all, but some feedback is the pacing can feel slow at times. After all we're barely to Canon at this point, we've likely still got ~4-5 years of events to move through unless your planning time skips.
Vninga
2024-04-26 18:28:13 +0000 UTCOkay, things are finally getting started! I wonder if daichi will actually be able to get the sharingan before the third hokage get's involved? Also will the second hokage get involved at all, or is this when daichi get's confronted by him. There isn't a time limit to the quest so daichi could always wait till the hokage has danzo and then kill him. Having a decoy go in and do things was a brilliant strategy; Daichi really needs some heat off him at the moment. His actions in his real persona are definitely causing waves. I have mentioned this in other chapters; I hope this arc is concentrated on what daichi is mainly doing. Having whole chapers dedicated to what the NPC's are doing is quite boring to read, to be honest. Thanks for the update!
Soraslove
2024-04-26 17:45:54 +0000 UTC
