Hot Dog Appreciation Day: Listen to the Gibbering of the Artbots

Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that we write slash fiction about ourselves and publish it under the handle ‘wienermatesXxX.’

But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!

First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where the treasurer of the Maverik Adventure Club is caring for his own health and wellness.

He’s sharing his extensive knowledge of Mormon Afterlife Cuckoldry Bylaws…

And maybe even discovering a new fetish we can all enjoy.

Now let’s move on to the Comments, where Chris “Ace” Hendrix continues expanding the sexual horizons of 1900HOTDOG.

Joshua Graves, Vooster, and Matt Edwards give in to the holiday spirit and try to find the true meaning of ninjutsu (we celebrate Ninjasgiving here).

While Bob writes us some plainly beautiful prose about the Themed Mash Goldilocks Zone.

Next it’s time for Weekend Updape with Gellaho! Let’s introduce ourselves (no eye contact, butt elevated in submission) to the new apes Gellaho wrangled for us this month!

Weather Ape predicts things are going to be wet and violent, just like it does every single day.

Don’t bother Code Ape, it’s entering another crunch time. Bones, code, whatever – crunchin’ be crunchin’.

Now on to the Discord where FancyShark is writing us the Dolemite/Jaws crossover episode we never knew we were missing.

Javo makes an entirely unreasonable demand that Zilla instantly fulfills.

Adrienne really found her new calling this month as a wrangler of artbots:

She even explained Kumite: the Home Game to the internet, which is something we never managed to do in our podcast posts.

But gaze too long at the bot and the bot gazes back – she completely lost her mind trying to figure out the mad whims of this artbot raised on the directionless shrieking of the internet’s wildest impulses.

The problem was the artbot would make anything related to this prompt, but not this exact phrase, which was considered lewd. She demanded an answer, and it cost her everything.

She gave herself fully to the machines, making crazy spreadsheets trying to understand robots who had clearly been driven insane by butchered memes and bizarre fetish requests.

Fatamatician was too humble to brag about it, but they made special pins with custom cards for every participant in the 1900HOTDOG Dick Fight Island Tournament.

Go ahead, put it on your lapel. It’ll take security hours to figure out it’s an armored codpiece, and by that time it will be too late – you’ll have masturbated them to completion, thus shaming and defeating them.

We wanted to give this month to Adrienne for losing her mind trying to explain hot dog to robots, we wanted to give it to Fatamatician two months in a row for absolutely befuddling a custom pinmaker, but then Gellaho emerged from the wilderness with a tablet in each arm, and on both was playing the entire fucking three-hour Hardy Boys movie he made.  

This is based on the weekly readings of Hot Dog-adjacent books he does in the 1900HOTDOG Discord every Friday. So congratulations, Gellaho! This is surely an appropriate reward for the several months of work that went into a crazy, ill-advised undertaking. The best and only kind of Hot Dog undertaking!

You are the new custodian of the Grace Photo. Brace up, let’s see how that lunatic Fatamatician mangled this priceless piece of art.

Wait, holy shit! Fatamatician didn’t ruin the photo either? Hold on, let me check – no, she’s threatening to bite you in the original one too. This is unchanged! It’s a Ninjasgiving miracle!

You folks are, as always, the best. And if anyone ever questions that, you call us. We’ll bite them, Grace Jones-style. (Her jaws are hinged so their natural state is clamped shut, that way she hangs on long after death).

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