[#201] A Formula for Desire

Labor Day!  A long weekend, finally!  I couldn't wait - sure, we did the same thing every weekend, but it was so wonderful... I felt like I could do it every weekend, forever.  Every Friday afternoon, I raced to her house.  Amara.  The hottest woman I had ever met in my life.  She was the first girl I had ever kissed, we met at a bar, I had been with my boyfriend at the time.

I wonder whatever happened to Kurt?

The thought left me as quickly as it came.  Amara was waiting for me.  Just as she had been every week for the last three months.  I'd been seeing her every weekend since I broke up with Kurt.  The taste of her lips lingered on mine, that first kiss in the parking lot of the bar while Kurt waited for me to get in the car... I shivered in my seat as I drove to her.

I knew my bottle would be waiting for me.  If you had told me three months ago that I would rush to a woman's house to drink from a baby bottle and spend the weekend in diapers, I... well, I probably would have hit you.  But that's exactly what I was doing.  Every weekend was magical, a haze of sexual enjoyment and the deepest love I had ever experienced.

No man could compare to Amara.  I was hers, and I would be hers forever.

She told me that all the time.

I was pretty sure I remembered to turn my car off as I raced up the stairs of her house to the nursery.  My clothing littered the stairway, my shoes in the foyer, my skirt tossed over the railing, my bra and blouse discarded on the stairs.  I was nude by the time I pushed the door open.  I climbed up on the changing table, waiting obediently.

I never remembered exactly what we did when Monday came, but the happiness of the weekend stayed with me through the drudgery of work.  Weekends with Amara were what kept me going.  I could do anything as long as I knew she was waiting for me at the end of it.

An involuntary squeak of joy came from my throat as she walked into the room, her long brown hair cascading over her shoulders.  Her skin so pale and rosy that it glowed.  Those naturally cherry lips.  Her dress was a red plaid, elegant and gorgeous... and a stark contrast to my helpless nakedness.

It didn't matter though.

All that mattered was the bottle in her hand.

"You forgot to turn your car off again, sweetie."  Her smile was so gentle, so sweet.  My eyes were fixed on the pink-ringed baby bottle in her hand, however.

"I'm sorry, mommy.  I'll try hard to remember next time."

My heart raced as she slipped the nipple between my lips, the milky-white nectar bringing an explosion of pure joy to my tongue.  I melted in her arms as she laid me down.  I was only vaguely aware of the diaper she was taping around my nethers.  Her fingers danced across my shaven mound, sending a shiver racing up my whole body.  I kept myself clean and ready for her at all times.

I loved her more than anything, I wanted her touch more than anything.  I couldn't even remember what we did all weekend, every weekend.  Until now.  As the formula trickled down my throat, the memories came back to me.  Memories of me crouching in a corner and filling my diaper, then sitting down in it and crying for her, my mommy, and she would lovingly come and change me.  Memories of nursing at her chest as she ran her fingers through my hair.  These things should have made me feel shame, but there was none... only anticipation.  Only comfort.  Only fulfillment.

I never remembered when Monday came, I wouldn't remember this time either... but Monday wasn't coming this time, it was a holiday, and I'd get an extra day of being her bouncing baby.

I never knew that she drugged me that night at the bar, that the formula would always leave me wanting more.  That I belonged to her, that I needed that formula as desperately as I needed air to breathe.

That I would be always be hers.

Every weekend.  Diapered and empty-headed.

Forever.