The Wet Bet

"I said no." For the tenth time.  Sure, I was gorgeous.  I was wearing my most adorable purple dress and my blonde hair was tied up in pigtails.  But this stupid guy wouldn't leave me alone. 

"Come on," he said. "Let me prove myself." I crossed my arms and looked at him curiously.  Hm... 

"Fine," I said simply. "We'll match drinks.  And if I run to the bathroom before you, I'll go out with you."

~~~

"You got it!" 

How hard could it be to out drink a girl who was all of five feet tall, anyway? Her bladder had to be the size of a peanut, so her cute little babyface was going to be all mine. 

"Make sure to pace yourself baby." I warned her, winking.

~~~

He finished his beer before me, trying to look flashy, and ordered another.  I rolled my eyes and finished my own, then got a second.  I couldn't hold my alcohol very well, and I had no doubt that by the end of the hour, I'd be pretty tipsy.  But I wasn't about to lose to this jerk either.  A few beers later, I could see him wiggling in place.  Though I was a little drunk, I was as cool as a clam. 

"You okay there?  Don't have to run off to the bathroom, do you?"

~~~

"Me? Psh, nah, I'm fine babe. You gotta know when to not tap the keg you know, you know what I mean? Once you start you can't stop, baby, so you gotta just keep a firm handle on things and not start peeing or you wont be able to stop, you dig?" 

Yeah,. I was a bit wasted too. And man did I need to piss!

~~~

He was even more obnoxious when he was drunk.  I finished a final beer and set it down on the counter.  Now, all I had to do was wait.  He squirmed in his seat and closed his eyes tight.  Any minute now... but he didn't run off.  Rather, he sat there, and a huge wet patch started to spread across his jeans.  I watched in awe. 

"Wowwww..."

~~~

Well, I wanted to tell her that was intentional. That I'd just go that extra mile to win her respect for a date. But truthfully, I just couldn't fucking hold it anymore, and it happened, and no matter what I did I couldn't get the false courage mustered up to play it cool. So I stammered. I paused. I froze. And then I stormed off. Fucking women!

~~~

I giggled as the boy in the wet pants ran out of the bar.  Now maybe I could enjoy-- "Hey." I looked up at the bartender, who had been serving us. 

"Good job scaring that guy off," he told me. "How'd you do it?" If I was sober, I would never have shown him, but I wasn't.  So I lifted my dress and flashed the bartender my very wet diaper, winking at him. 

"I've got my ways."