Brainwashing eye chapter 11 came out!!
Added 2023-10-11 10:46:54 +0000 UTCI'm incredibly glad we came to 11 chapters of this history, and I'm grateful to all my patreons for helping me to accomplish that, I never imagined that my stories and my fetish could be shared with so many other people, I hope you all like this chapter and sorry for the delay for posting.
Comments
Hi, I'm happy to hear your thoughts and your writing tips, we're not yet at the season finale of the first season, there's a long way to go before we get there. About this chapter, it can be said that we reached the end of the first act, so I thought it would be better to use this chapter to prepare the events of the second act. about Karlee's brainwashing I like the idea of Nina having a more active participation in this process but I didn't want to put something along those lines because I don't know if my patrons might like femdon. Thank you again for your valuable input, and I' I'm eager to continue this creative journey with you!
Hypnosss
2023-10-12 09:11:03 +0000 UTCAre you ending a season? I’m not very happy with this chapter, The following are my free flowing thoughts not a suggestion per say just my attempt at communicating my experience it felt more like a rushed summary of everything that happened, like you skipped something with the brainwashing. We could have seen david asking Nina to resume while he goes to school and resumes the plot , while Nina works out her rage and completes the brainwashing In the page before last I don’t think Karlee’s personality was established long enough for us to share what her character was Other plot elements we didn’t need a reminder of, or at least we could later as David goes to school and the Chad President charter The order could be intermingled while we see the brain washing And then David coming back to the scene you started the chaise with and checking that the deed is done well Many of his thoughts is just expositions (he’s thinking things we already know or can conclude he may do) it’s better I feel if he just jumps to doing something Example He thinks how he overused his power and needs to be careful (we surest know this from last chapter) He redid Nina he won’t brainwash the same way later (good idea could have just done that didn’t need to hear you thinking about it)
Amr Draz
2023-10-12 05:19:07 +0000 UTC
