“The Night-Goosher”
Added 2020-10-06 12:57:32 +0000 UTCTo All Ashville Park Personnel,
This office has received several reports over the past week regarding “strange puddles of goo” being discovered at various points around the River Park area. While we do not yet know the precise nature of this material, it does appear to be a bodily secretion of some kind (Ex: several employees have already suggested that it ‘smells like [...] juice’).
Such speculation has led to rumors within the dept. regarding the possible presence of an individual some employees have nicknamed the ‘Night-Goosher’(?).
Please be advised that dept. personnel are expected to conduct themselves in a professional manner when it comes to acts of vandalism and indecency within our public areas.
**THIS IS NOT A JOKE**. It is our responsibility to maintain the safety and appearance of our community’s park and recreation facilities. This **includes** potential instances of lewd/illicit behavior, regardless of how ‘funny’ you may personally consider it to be.
If anyone witnesses or receives information regarding the commission of such acts, or of the individual(s) responsible, you are required to report them to the authorities as well as this office.
- L. Dickinson, Sr. Administrator, Ashville Parks and Recreation Department
