Two (Commission) - Chapter 7 - Split

An alternate ending for Two, this time splitting the candles between Greyson and Ethan.

Greyson dreamt of Ethan. In the dream, Greyson was a boy again, about nine years old, and his mother had just returned from the hospital with his new brother. The baby seemed so tiny, so delicate. Greyson refused the first time they offered him a chance to hold his little brother in his arms. He was scared that he might drop him or hold him the wrong way. Eventually, they caught him sitting on the couch and basically plopped Ethan down in Greyson’s lap. As his parents snapped photos, Greyson locked eyes with his new brother, and he smiled. “Hey, kid,” he said. “Welcome home.” He could have sworn that Ethan smiled back for a moment, before shutting his eyes and yawning himself to sleep.

Greyson felt himself getting drowsy then as well, and the dream faded away.

Soon enough, Greyson drifted back into consciousness at a gradual comfortable pace. Nothing felt as though it were rushing him back into the world, and time seemed nonexistent in his mind. The world itself felt soft, like it was padded with cotton and foam. Greyson felt soft as well, as if all the hard edges had been sanded away from his life. There were no points anymore, no edges, no separations, only the smoothness of seamless rest.

Greyson shifted his weight, not to fix any discomfort, but to stretch out a bit more into the comfort he inhabited. He heard the crinkle around his hips. He knew what it meant.

Even that was not enough to jar him awake, to give up the extended repose in which he luxuriated. What would rushing accomplish? Nothing. He peeked his eyes open, saw the bars rising up around him, saw the mobile spinning as it hung from the ceiling, cute colorful little animals rotating around in lazy circles. None of this surprised him. It only confirmed what he had expected. This was just his luck, after all.

At last, the candles had won.

He lifted an arm up and held out a pudgy baby hand for inspection. Somehow it seemed both bigger and smaller all at once, chunky in shape but little in size. He flexed the delicate fingers and released them, and then he let the arm drop back down to his side, surrendering to gravity again.

He figured that he was supposed to feel angry or depressed, but his new condition evoked neither emotion. Instead, he just felt a heavy sort of resignation. All week, he had been fighting against fate, every single day. Now, the exhausting fight was over. A resolution had come at last. Time had run out. The game was over. In all honesty, he felt somewhat relieved.

It was then that he noticed the warm dampness around his crotch. If only he could change his diaper on his own, he would do it without complaint, but he lacked the equipment and the dexterity to manage it. He knew how helpless he was now when it came to his own bodily functions. He doubted he could even walk at this age.

Not wanting to lay there in his mess, he tried to call for help. No words were able to form from his mouth. Too many teeth were not quite there, and the muscles were inexperienced at producing speech. The resulting sound was something like a moan or a coo.

When that was unsuccessful at getting attention, he tried even louder. Still, no one came. With frustration building, he cried out, shrieking at the top of his lungs. That passionate scream seemed to uncork a reservoir of tears in his eyes, and soon he was bawling and wailing with uncontrolled passion.

That did the trick. His mother appeared above his crib moments later.

“Good morning, sweetie,” she said, lifting him out of his soft resting place. “Mommy’s here.”

The effortless stability of her arms was enough to start calming him down. She bounced him and cooed soothingly, and soon he was feeling relaxed again. Then, she carried him over to a changing table to begin working on his diaper.

“Mom!” cried a panicked little voice from down the hall, interrupting their moment together. “MOM!”

“Ethan?” she replied. “Is something wrong? Are you okay?”

Rapid little footsteps raced towards Greyson’s door, and to his surprise, in walked Ethan, but it was not the 12-year-old Ethan from the day before. Instead, he had become a baby like Greyson, appearing to be only as old as Greyson had been yesterday. Two.

His brother was panting and had a horrified look on his face.

“What’s the matter?” his mother asked, walking over to Ethan and crouching down next to him.

The fearful look he gave her as she approached told Greyson everything he needed to know. Apparently, Ethan thought his mother looked like a giant, and that terrified him.

“Did you have a bad dream?” she asked him.

“I think I might be having one right now,” he replied.

Greyson was stuck up on the changing table, but he wanted to help out his brother somehow. At the very least, he might be able to show him that he was not alone. “Eefan!” he cried, trying his best to get his baby lips to enunciate. “Widdle.”

Ethan noticed Greyson for the first time that morning. “Greyson?” he asked, apparently shocked at what he saw.

“Yeth,” Greyson said, finding the letter “S” hard to form with his baby teeth and tongue.

“You too?” Ethan said.

Greyson nodded. “Tawk afta. ‘K?”

Ethan thought for a moment, and said, “Okay. Talk to you after.”

“Ethan,” their mother said. “Since you’re up already, do you feel ready to start your morning routine without me?”

“Uh,” he said. “Sure.”

“Just call for me if you need help with the potty. Okay?”

“Okay,” he said and exchanged an uncertain look with Greyson. Then, Ethan walked off towards the bathroom.

“You’re getting to be such a big boy,” their mother said. Then, she walked over to Greyson to continue changing his diaper.

She laid him down and unfastened the front. The smell of urine was unmistakable, but it was not quite overpowering. After a quick examination of the mess, she swiftly got down to work wiping him clean and replacing his old diaper. Greyson lay there, just letting it happen. What else could he do?

It was a strange feeling, being cared for by someone so completely. Greyson felt like more of a witness than a participant. He had a feeling like being a ghost, but in reverse, not an after-life but a pre-life. There was a body and some consciousness in it, but his mother was not expecting to find a full person there yet. And, since nothing much was expected of him, Greyson felt free to just exist without putting out any effort. It was like being at a spa, but there was no bill waiting and no exit in sight.

It might even feel restful if he had just a little more control of himself and his life.

By the end of the changing, Greyson felt dry and refreshed. She lifted him up and held him in her arms. Strangely enough, he felt ready to face his first day as a baby.

“Mom?” shouted Ethan. “I’m done with the potty. Could you please… uh... clean up?”

“Just a moment,” she said, setting Greyson down in his crib.

Greyson grabbed the wooden bars to help himself stand up to watch her walk to the bathroom to help Ethan. He thought about how confused and worried his brother must be right now. Greyson had been dealing with this magic all week, but this was Ethan’s first experience with being transformed. Greyson knew he could help his brother through it, but it would take some explanation. And, with his mouth, that would be a bit of a challenge. Still, he felt confident that Ethan would listen.

***

Greyson and Ethan’s mother placed them in a playpen while she started preparing their breakfasts. With that time alone, Greyson described what he had experienced over the past week. As he had expected, many of the words he intended to use were too big or complicated for his baby mouth to pronounce. He managed to get his point across, nonetheless, since Ethan helped out by asking useful questions, letting Greyson nod or shake his head in response.

When Greyson had finished describing the party yesterday and this morning, Ethan was quiet for a minute.

Seeing his brother looking concerned, Greyson said, “Efan?”

“I need to…” Ethan said, but stopped, seemingly at a loss for what to say. “I need to think this all over.”

Greyson nodded. He understood. It had taken a while for him to accept what had happened to him.

“Okay, you two,” their mother said, walking up to the playpen. “Time for breakfast.” Seeing the grim look on their faces, she asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nuffing,” Greyson said. “Wets eat.”

***

The boys each had their own seats waiting for them for breakfast. Greyson was sat in a high chair with a tray attached in front of him. Ethan had a booster seat, the same one Greyson had been using the past couple of days when he had been two.

Greyson’s food was simple, but he was not about to complain. His diet had been pretty controlled as an athlete, so he was used to keeping things simple. The only struggle was coordinating his fingers and his mouth to get the food inside of him without dropping it. Again, his athletic training had primed him to deal with this problem. He was used to training, facing set-backs and failure. Determined, he kept trying, seeing the mastery of his baby body as a challenge to endure.

Ethan, on the other hand, was not taking things as well.

Halfway through his meal, Ethan groaned in frustration and flung his fork at his plate. “I hate this!” he cried. “I keep getting food all over me.”

Their mother walked over to him with a napkin and started to wipe some of the mess off of his face. “Calm down,” she said. “I’ll clean you up, and you’ve got your bib to help keep you clean.”

“I don’t want a bib,” he whined. “I don’t want a booster seat. I don’t want to be a stupid little baby.”

Their mother sighed, and Greyson noticed the weary look on her face. He saw how the strain and exhaustion of caring for a pair of baby boys was weighing on her. He also saw a seemingly bottomless reservoir of patience and compassion as well.

“Listen,” she told Ethan. “Someday, you’ll be a big boy, and you’ll be able to do all of the things that big boys can do, all by yourself. I know you want that now, but you’ll have to wait. But, here’s the good part: everyday you’ll be getting older and bigger and you’ll be able to do more and more on your own, like with the potty training. Soon, you’ll be going potty all by yourself.”

“Don’t remind me,” he grumbled, looking away.

“You just need to be patient,” she said. “If you keep trying, you’ll get there sooner than you think.”

Ethan was quiet for a little while. Then, he picked up his fork and said, “Sorry. I’ll be patient.”

“Good,” she said and kissed the top of Ethan’s head before walking over to Greyson to clean up the mess he had made.

Greyson watched as Ethan finished his meal, taking his time to eat as cleanly as he could, frowning the whole time.

***

Time rolled on slowly. With not much to do, Greyson alternated from trying out his new body and taking a rest. He crawled around the floor, getting used to moving on all fours again. His few attempts at standing had been brief and ultimately futile. He could blame the thickness of his diaper for that as it kept his legs spread awkwardly apart. Fortunately, it was easy enough to take a nap, in fact it was expected. When baby life got too tedious, he could slip out of it for a nap and come back refreshed a while later.

Ethan, on the other hand, continued to struggle. After getting bored with his toys, he started pestering their mother for things to occupy his time. Eventually, she allowed him some screen time, letting him play a video game on her tablet for a half-hour, before laying him down for nap time with Greyson.

“I’m not tired,” Ethan lied, but his droopy eyes gave him away.

“Sleep,” his mother ordered him. “You can play more later after that.”

He sighed and closed his eyes. Satisfied that her boys were resting, their mother left them to lay there.

“Greyson?” Ethan said. “You awake?”

“Yeah?” Greyson replied, opening his eyes to look at his brother.

“I hate this,” Ethan confessed.

“Yeah,” Greyson replied, trying to sound supportive.

“Is there any way for us to turn back? Can’t we fix this with the candles?”

“No,” Greyson said. “Sowwy.”

“Yeah,” Ethan said, resentfully,“You’re ‘sowwy.’” Ethan shut his eyes, signaling that he was done talking to Greyson.

Greyson stared at his brother and wished that he had a way of comforting him or offering him some kind of consolation. No ideas came to him, then, so he shut his eyes as well to begin his nap.

***

When they were both awake a little while later, their mother announced that it was time for their bath. Greyson and Ethan exchanged a look when they realized she had indicated it would be a singular bath, not individual baths as they would have preferred. Sure enough, she had them both in the bathroom together, watching her fill the tub and get herself ready.

“Well, boys,” she said. “Let’s take those clothes off.”

Again, Greyson and Ethan glanced at each other realizing that any possibility of privacy was gone now. With a sigh, they both began stripping off their clothes. Greyson struggled with his own shirt and shorts.

“Ethan,” their mother said. “Help your brother, please, while I finish getting ready.”

Ethan sighed as he finished removing his own shirt. He turned to Greyson who lifted his arms up to comply, and waited as Ethan worked Greyson’s tiny shirt up over his head and off of him. It had been a long time since they had shared this kind of cooperation, and it was the first time that Ethan had taken the lead position in this kind of teamwork.

“Fanks,” Greyson said.

“No problem,” Ethan said, taking off his shorts.

Greyson managed to wiggle out of his own shorts by himself, and then the two boys were now stripped down to their respective undergarments. Greyson wearing only a diaper. Ethan in his somewhat more mature pullups. Neither of them felt prepared to relinquish that final bit of cover.

Their mother shut off the water and turned to face them. “Well,” she said. “Off with the undies, boys. It’s time to get in.”

Ethan pulled down his pullups, and their mother undid the fasteners on Greyson’s diaper. The boys were both nude, and they avoided looking at each other as she lifted them and set them in the water, one by one.

Greyson thought how strange it was to be in this tub, which he had come to think of as being uncomfortably small for him as an adult. Now, he was comfortably sharing it with Ethan as though it were a spacious Jacuzzi.

Their mother started Ethan soaping himself up as she worked on soaping up Greyson.

Then something strange happened in the midst of all the cleaning, the two of them started to relax. It had been years since either of them had been washed by someone else, over a decade in Greyson’s case. To have this much attention and care focused on them was like the best kind of pampering, the kind that would normally cost an arm and a leg at a spa.

“Okay,” their mother declared, once they were clean. “Toy time!”

Little plastic boats and rubber animals were added to the tub with them, which floated around between the soap bubbles as though navigating an ice flow. At least, that is the fantasy that Greyson started up when he took hold of a boat and started piloting it through open water.

Ethan would not allow smooth sailing, though. In came an alligator to catch Greyson’s boat. The two boys wrestled with their toys, sometimes Greyson would escape only for Ethan to catch him again. They chuckled and giggled and squealed as the game went on. Eventually, it turned into a whole lot of splashing around more than anything else.

“All right, boys,” their mother said as she reached for the plug to drain the tub. “Enough water sports. Time to get dried off.”

The water drained away, leaving Greyson and Ethan sitting there together, naked and dripping wet. Somehow, it was no longer an awkward thing to be so exposed before each other. It felt natural, ordinary, two babies being babies together, brothers. Greyson smiled and Ethan smiled back. And, they kept on smiling as their mother began toweling them off.

***

That night, just as Greyson was falling asleep, he heard Ethan whisper. “Hey?” Ethan said. “You still awake?”

Greyson looked through the bars of his crib, across the bedroom to the door where Ethan had poked his head inside.

“Ya?” Greyson said.

Ethan tip-toed over. “Wanna talk?” he whispered.

Greyson shook his head and pointed at the baby monitor on the dresser next to him. Ethan nodded and worked on opening up the side of Greyson’s crib. Then, he supported Greyson as he crawled out to join Ethan on the floor. Ethan walked to the hallway and Greyson crawled along behind him.

In the hallway, Ethan said, “How you feeling?”

Greyson sat down and said, “Okay.”

“Yeah,” Ethan said. “I’m feeling okay, too. That’s kind of weird, though. Isn’t it? I mean, after all the changes.”

“Why?” Greyson asked.

“Well,” Ethan said. “I thought I’d be missing more things about being older, but…”

“Nope?” Greyson said.

“Nah,” Ethan said. “I don’t know how to explain it. I just feel… fine about being two again. I don’t even miss some things like I thought I would. And, that bath. That was fun, wasn’t it?”

Greyson nodded.

“Why do I feel like this?”

“Moah not wess,” Greyson said.

Ethan thought about it a moment, translating the words, then ruminating on their meaning. “Yeah,” he said. “I guess we do have more now, in some ways, not just less. I mean, I’ve just got ten more years of my life to live. You’ve got an extra twenty.”

Greyson nodded again.

“And,” Ethan said. “We’ve got each other, too. I don’t know how I’d handle all of this without you. I bet it was hard when you were getting younger on your own before.”

More nodding.

“Well,” Ethan said, smiling. “I suppose we don’t have any choice, except to be really awesome brothers together.”

“Okay,” Greyson said, smiling back. Then, he spread his arms wide, inviting Ethan in for a hug.

Ethan embraced Greyson and the two of them held each other, sharing their brotherly love. Then, they released the hug and Greyson yawned.

Ethan yawned in response and said, “I’d better put you back in your crib before we fall asleep out here.”

Ethan helped Greyson to his feet and held his brother’s hand to help him balance as they walked back to the crib.

***

Weeks later, Greyson and Ethan sat side by side in a double stroller as their mother pushed them along for a walk in the park. The weather was nice, and the boys were enjoying some fresh air and the chance for socializing. As awkward as it was to interact with actual babies, they appreciated seeing some new faces.

So, when a woman approached them pushing her own stroller with her own baby in it, the boys took an immediate interest in them. The two mothers greeted each other and chatted happily, commiserating about motherhood. Greyson and Ethan were proud to hear their mother describe them as perfect angels. Aside from the occasional secret bit of precocious reading or TV watching, they prided themselves on behaving exceptionally well for their ages.

“How is potty training going for your oldest?” the other mother asked.

“Ethan is using the toilet all on his own now,” their mother replied, beaming with pride. “He seemed to catch on overnight. Aside from some accidents while sleeping, he’s pretty well potty trained.”

“That’s great. I can’t wait for my little Davey to be over needing diapers.”

“On top of that,” their mother said. “Greyson has been talking a lot lately. It’s kind of amazing, the two of them are getting to be like little grown ups.”

“They grow up so fast,” the other mother said. “They’ll be off to preschool before you know it.”

“If only,” Ethan muttered.

“Stephen!” a familiar man’s voice called to someone nearby. “You forgot your football.”

Greyson looked beside them. Sure enough, there was James, looking larger than life walking past them. Greyson’s heart fluttered as he watched James walk over to Stephen, who, at 12 years old, looked very mature now, comparatively.

“Look,” Ethan said, pointing past Stephen. “They’re all here.”

Greyson saw all of the boys who had played football with them when they had been Ethan’s old age. Greyson looked at Ethan, now a decade younger than his old friends. There was a sense of longing clearly visible in his expression. Greyson could tell that Ethan wanted to run over and join them in a game, but all he could do was sit there and sigh.

“You okay?” Greyson asked his brother.

“Yeah,” Ethan said, and Greyson was surprised that he believed him.

Again, Greyson looked at James and sighed himself. As nice as it was to see his old friend, he had come to accept that there was no situation now where they would even know each other. However, as sad as that was, it was also freeing. James and these boys were from their old life, but they had a whole new life ahead of them, and they already had a head start in experience and wisdom enough to avoid the mistakes and regrets they had known. Greyson knew he would not wait until it was too late to share his feelings with someone he cared about in the future. His regrets with James would not be repeated.

But, that would not be a concern for now, or anytime soon. There was no urgency at all to grow up, no need to rush back into adulthood. They had time.

“You okay?” Ethan asked him.

“Gweat,” Greyson said. “Weady for new fwiends.”

“Yeah,” Ethan said. “Time for try number two. This is going to be fun.”

“Yeah,” Greyson said. “Fun.”

The boys smiled, and they rolled on into their new life.