Exclusive Advent Calendar 1: Do you like my decoration?

A/N: If you know what video I’m referring to with the title please let me know because I think it’s the funniest shit ever. This contains many wood/holiday puns, you have been warned. Also note this is a fat reader, even tho the monster calls her “little human” because he’s very tall. Also thanks to the discord babes because the idea of making this monster came from there. <3

Dryad (Christmas tree) x fat fem!reader || inappropriate use of Christmas lights (bondage), (light) dom/sub, (light) dirty talk

It was the beginning of December when your new house far away from home started looking extra cold and sad. The holidays were approaching and you couldn’t go back home, so you decided a tree would make you feel a little bit better. You googled where was the closest tree farm in your area and were in your car before you could overthink it.

You arrived there, and you could almost taste the tension in the air. There was a weird aura in that place, but you tried not to think about it too hard because you wanted a fucking tree. And next farm was very far away and you weren’t about to go there. You were going to get a tree ASAP.

You walked around for a few minutes, but they all seemed the exact same to you, but there was one at the side that was on sale, with Christmas lights and all over it. “I’ll take this one. Are the lights included?” You asked the naga seller.

He smirked at you in a way that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up, a shiver running down your back. “Yes, ma’am. The price includes both.” You nodded and he helped you carry it to your car, chuckling all the while, making you extra nervous.

Weirdly enough, when you were leaving the farm, he smirked at you in the creepiest way possible and told you to “have fun with it”. What kind of random shit was that? You left the farm stepping on the gas a bit more than necessary, just to get as far away as possible from the creepy naga.

You set the tree as one does, adjusting the lights so it would look the prettiest on your living room as you sat with a glass of wine and petted your lovely cat in your lap. You were right, the tree made everything more holiday-ish already. It felt a bit more like you could enjoy your time even if it was freezing outside.

You fell asleep there, the warmth and the effort of carrying the tree into your house leaving you tired as fuck.

You woke up with a huge breaking sound, making you jump from the sofa. “What was that?” You asked your cat, as startled as you. You looked to your right to see the tree gone. There was no tree there, just a naked… dryad?

“YOU ARE NOT A TREE!” You screamed, not knowing what to do, just staring at him like he was… well, a naked monster in your living room.

Your tree just became a living creature. A naked living creature tied by fairy lights in the middle of your living room. How could something like that even happen? Your luck was once again shitty. Great.

He looked at you from the floor, struggling to get out of his unfortunate restrains. “But not deaf, good Goddess don’t scream like that,” he complained, moving like a worm and making you burst out laughing at the absurdity of your life. “Great, now she went mad,” he mumbled under his breath as he tried and failed to get out of the lights mess. “A little hand?” He asked, looking at you as the pine leaves of his hair moved with his struggles. He looked anything but threatening and your body relaxed instantly.

You helped him get off the lights and stand up. He was so tall you felt dainty next to him. You tried not to ogle him, but he was such a pretty monster, with all his brownish skin and rough ridges along his body. You avoided the part you wanted to look at more, knowing it would be rude to stare at his… log. You giggled internally at your analogy, feeling silly and cheerful for no reason.

“How did you end up in a tree farm?” You asked to distract yourself from his phenomenal physique.

“Fucking Harold kidnapped me last year as his centerpiece for the holidays, and then forgot about me. So this year he decided to set me up for sale,” he explained with an edge of anger and despair in his voice.

You looked at him for a second, and your instincts told you to hug him. You weren’t a touchy person, but the defeat in his voice made you want to do it. So you did. You stepped into his personal space and hugged him tightly, naked and all. He stiffened, as tense as a tree (pun intended). But soon he was relaxing in your embrace and wrapping his wooden arms around your soft body, melting against your front.

You stayed like that for a while, not talking, just soaking in each other’s warmth as the holidays didn’t seem so gray anymore. It was like he made you feel better just being there.

“Do you have somewhere to go?” You asked him when you pulled apart. He shook his head, looking at the floor and looking as pathetic as possible, making your heart go all soft. “Then you’ll stay with me for the holidays. Then we’ll figure it out, okay?” You also didn’t know where that offer came from, you liked your own space and solitary.

“Okay,” he accepted, feeling pitiful for himself. You patted his arm and passed him a glass of wine, pouring another one for yourself. You both needed it.

Suddenly, having a dryad roommate was weirder than you expected.

He was really nice, and his cheerful spirit made your usual grumpy self feel a bit better about the holidays away from home. For some reason your cat loved him, and spent most of its time trying to get his attention. And truth be told, so did you. He was intoxicating, his bubbly personality balancing your bad mood because of the cold. You bought him clothes (all holiday themed per his request), and you started to bond.

You’d never felt so close to another being. Not even your last boyfriend with who you were for over four years. It was like something was pulling you to him and him to you. It was so much deeper than you’d ever felt and made your insides all gooey and warm every time you looked at his smiley wooden face.

Days passed, and you feared the time where you would have to part ways, when you’d have to help him find a way back to his home or wherever he wanted to go. But, once again, he surprised you:

“So, are we going to talk about our sexual tension or what?” He blurted out as you two were cleaning the room.

You turned around to look at him so fast you almost fell. “What?!”

He looked at you with the silliest grin on his face as he moved his hands animatedly: “I want to fuck you, you want to fuck me. We should be a couple!” You were flabbergasted.

“How- How can you be so blunt?” You finally asked, your brain running a mile per minute.

He sighed as if your question is painful. “Subtlety has taken me nowhere. I’ve been trying to kiss you for days and you seem so obvious to my advances…” You gaped at him, did he really? “A dryad has his needs, little human,” he finished.

“What?” You repeated, feeling particularly dumb. You tried looking back at your interaction and he did seem a lot more touchy free and closer to you as usual, but you blamed it on his cheerful self. You didn’t know a beautiful dryad like him would be interested in a human like you.

Your inner struggles were blown away when he enunciated very slowly: “I want to bury my log in your chimney.” Your brain shot all kinds of alarms as you laughed in the ugliest way possible at his words. He didn’t just say that. Oh goddess. And why was it working? Fuck. You were a goner for that stupid dryad that invaded your life and made it so much brighter.

“I- I-” You tried but started laughing once again.

“I’m glad you find me hilarious, I am.” That only made you laugh harder.

After a while, when you calmed down enough to breathe properly and your tummy was hurting because of the fit of laughter, he approached you slowly. “Can I kiss you now?” He asked, serious and hopeful at the same time.

“Please,” you let out in a breath that he caught right as it was leaving your mouth when he leaned down and claimed your mouth.

You two kissed desperately. You gave and took everything. It was the filthiest and most romantic kiss you’d ever felt, and as you caressed his rough tongue with your soft one, you couldn’t avoid moaning against his mouth. He pulled back, amusement clear in his face as you cursed and grabbed him by the branches of his hair, pulling him down to claim his mouth once again.

You two made out like needy teenagers as his hands traveled up and down your body, probing and groping until you were pulling at his branches so hard he pulled away with a groan, his eyes blown wide with pent up sexual frustration.

He looked you up and down as he licked his lips slowly, making your heart skip a beat as your pussy got wetter. “Want to know a secret? I love juicy women like you, especially when they are tied and at my mercy,” he told you with a wink. You gaped at him, unable to form words in response. “Don’t you want to know how it feels to be fucked by a dryad, little human? How my log fits so perfectly inside your warm channel?” You nodded vehemently, your body responding faster than your brain can process it. “Undress for me, show me all that luscious curves and soft flesh.”

You obeyed, your body trembling in anticipation as he did the same. You had already seen him naked, back when he first arrived to your life, but it was so much different now. He was undressing for you. He was undressing because you two were going to fuck. Oh goddess… You were going to fuck a monster. The part of your brain obsessed with monster romances was screaming in joy as you pulled your panties down and stared at his glorious tree-like form.

“Want to play a game, little human?” He asked, a mischievous smirk on his wooden mouth. You nodded, a choked breath leaving your lips when he approached and his hands found your boobs. He started playing with your nipples, pinching until you felt like you were dripping down your legs. Fuck. But he kept talking as if he wasn’t driving you insane: “I’m going to tie you up, so this time you are the pretty holiday tree. And then…”

“And then what?” You urged, your pulse skyrocketing as you pressed your tights together trying to get some friction in your desperate center.

He chuckled at your eagerness. “And then I fuck you until you light up brighter than the lights,” he promised and you shivered in response as he walked out and came back with the strip of fairy lights around his arm.

He walked you to the bed and started wrapping the lights carefully around your body, framing your boobs and your soft tummy. Being extra careful with your belly rolls not to pinch anything. Copping a feel of your pussy when he framed your lower lips with the improvised rope. It felt wonderful.

By the time he was done, you were panting in desperation, your pussy tingling and your clit asking for attention. You begged and moaned, his hands caressing every inch of your body as you couldn’t move. He was being so soft and slow with you, taking his time to enjoy every bit he could, as if you were precious… And he made you feel like you were.

“You look stunning like that, my little human. All light up and ready to take my wood,” you were so focused on his hands on your body that you didn’t even laugh at the pun.

He positioned his dark rod right at your entrance, looking into your eyes as he started pushing inside. He felt massive inside, so big and wide you almost thought he was going to split you in two. But he kept going as you breathed through your mouth, feeding you millimeter by millimeter of his cock as you panted. When he was fully inside you moaned deeply, feeling every ridge of him so deep you were about to explode without him even moving.

But he wasn’t having any of that. He wanted more. (And so did you.)

He grabbed onto the lights around your middle and used it like a leash, keeping you still as he fucked into your welcoming pussy and you screamed his name over and over. Not being able to move but feeling every inch of him at the same time was driving you insane. His constant pounding and the bouncing of your tits, combined with the pressure of the ropes around your body was exhilarating in a completely new way.

You kept chanting more, more, more, as he delivered over and over. He was fucking you like a piston, the rough ridges of his lower abdomen rubbing against your clit as his dick hit your G-spot. You were seeing stars in front of your eyes, going crazy with pleasure.

“Come on, little human, come for me,” he growled against your ear, pulling at the ropes just enough to move your body and hit so deep inside of you, you discovered the true meaning of the holidays in one big orgasm.

Lights and fireworks went off in your head as you came messily around his wooden dick, his grunts and moans adding fuel to your fire until you were nothing but an exposed nerve of pleasure. Every touch, every new thrust as he looked for his pleasure… When he came, it send you over the edge all over again, an orgasm so deep and hard it left you trembling and breathless.

“I hope you know that meant you are mine now, and we are repeating that as soon as you wake up.” He chuckled against your ear as you fell asleep with a smile on your lips, lights still around your body.

Needless to say, he woke you up with a morning wood (pun intended).