April Update

I'd do a video but I'm in the Idaho mountains where the internet is TURD CITY.

So, I've been a discombobulated mess lately, and I want to apologize. I've been doing a really bad job with Patreon. A few weeks ago I found out my mom has cancer again. It's...tumultuous. We're not sure what to do at this time, so, taking it day by day.

I kept quiet initially because it all just sounds like a 'boo hoo' excuse. Though, I suppose there's merit in transparency...? I'm torn. I hope this doesn't come off as a dodge.

It's been hard to keep my work in order, and that's entirely my fault. I get frazzled when I'm sad/worried and I really dropped the ball the last few weeks. I selfishly drew for myself the last few days before I headed out because I was so nervous about the long 2 day drive I had to make and had this nauseating knot in my stomach leading up to all this- focus was hard to come by. I hate not being able to feel in control and I had to do something to detach I guess.

Though!! Now that I'm home with my parents (fully vaccinated! Another reason it was so tough- it wasn't safe to see them up until recently), I feel a massive sense of relief- sitting in a car for 20 hours gave me that moment of 'in control', as exhausting as it was. That sense of dread is ceasing, for now.

I brought my desktop and limited shop stock with me so I can continue to work in Idaho. I'll be here all of April and there will be plenty of downtime at night since my P's are old and go to bed early :P I'll be catching up on all things Patreon. 

For any trust lost, understandable 1000%

I need to be better at being open about what's happening in my life and/or be able to set aside personal grief and get the work I promise done.

I hate that I let people down, I really do.

I wish I could handle my emotions better when bad things happen. I get so frustrated with myself when I feel like everything is spiraling. I ask for no forgiveness, nor do I deserve any of the patience many of you have provided me. But thank you, for everything.

Goodnight darlins'

-Allison