Always the last place that you look... (Short Story)

Always the last place that you look...

Written by SteeleBlazer

            Have you ever lost something and just couldn’t find it? 

            And you searched all over and still you couldn’t find what was missing... And then what do you know, it’s always in the last place that you look. Well, that happens to me all the time... 

            And forgetful as I am, let me tell you the tale of the one time I lost something so important, and so big, that I don’t think I’ll ever forget about losing it... And sure enough, what I lost, I found in the very last place that I looked, and it was the least of all places I’d ever would have suspected. 

            I’m very, very forgetful... In fact, I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t forgetful; I’m the kind of person who is always losing and forgetting things... Stuff like my car keys and picking up my wife’s dry-cleaning... And all the other tasks and chores she always wants me to do, it really infuriates her. But it’s more than that; I lose other stuff too, like my sunglasses. Heck I never seem to be able to keep a pair longer than a few weeks, and I’m always misplacing things around the house.  

            Yep, I’m always losing and misplacing things, and sure enough I often find them, in the very last place that I looked. Whatever they are or whatever went missing, I’m telling you all, each and every single time I find them, they’re always in the last place that I looked for them... I just never can remember to check there first, I’m just forgetful like that. 

            Anyway... What were we talking about? 

            Ohh, yes... How forgetful I am and how I am always losing and misplacing things. 

            It’s rather embarrassing being a big strong man, and running around in confused panic looking for all the things I’ve lost and misplaced... It’s just not befitting a big, strong man. 

            Would it shock you to know that I used to be a big strong man?  

            I know looking at me right now; you’d never believe that, because I’m so frail, skinny and weak now... But believe me; I used to be a big, strong, strapping stud of a man... 

            But, I misplaced and lost my muscles! 

            I just went to sleep one night; everything was fine and normal... And then when I woke up I found that I had lost my muscles... And that was the only thing that I found that morning... Or rather lost! 

            It might sound confusing, and you better believe I was confused, and I was scared. I mean muscles just don’t go missing, and yet mine were. I had woken up and right away I knew something was wrong. 

            Everything felt different and everything felt strange, and everything felt wrong... My blankets seemed heavier, and the world seemed larger... And when I threw off my blankets my entire body didn’t just seem smaller, it was SMALLER! 

            I blinked my eyes furiously trying to get them to adjust, but the only adjusting would be me coming to grips with the fact that somehow my muscles weren’t just missing but gone!  

            I rubbed my eyes, and still they were gone. Heck, I even gave my bony, skinny arm a pinch, and “OUCH!”  

            Boy o’ boy, that pinch actually smarted and hurt more than I thought. But, it was still a smart thing for me to do, because it proved that I was awake... 

            Awake or not, I was still in a nightmare, all my muscles were gone! And while they were only missing for a few minutes, I’ve never missed anything more in my entire life... And in case you all might be missing the point, I loved my muscles and I sure as heck didn’t want to wind up spending the rest of my life as some wimpy weakling. 

            They had to be here somewhere... 

            I mean muscles just don’t disappear overnight... 

            And yet mine were gone... 

            Missing... 

            Out of all the things I’ve ever forgotten or misplaced, I never, ever thought it would be or could be my muscles! 

            I didn’t know what to do, so I just started looking for them. 

            I looked for them all across my body, and I didn’t see even the slightest trace of the musculature that I once had, not even a single sinew or slightest ripple was to be found on my pale doughy physique. 

            I was the embodiment of strength, and yet there were no muscles to be found upon my body. 

            I flexed my arms, looking for traces and signs of where my muscles went, but wherever they went, it certainly wasn’t my arms. They were so skinny they might as well have been pipe cleaners... 

            And as I frantically searched and looked for my muscles, I began to think it might just be a pipe dream that I’d ever find them. I was so desperate I searched everywhere... 

            And I mean everywhere! 

            I searched the bed, yanking and tearing off the blankets and the sheets, and even upending and turning over the mattress... Which I never remembered being so heavy in my entire life! 

            I searched under the bed, and just as there was no monster under my bed, there also certainly weren’t any of my missing muscles. 

            I was running out of places to search in my room, and that’s when I ran into the bathroom and started my searching again. 

            Looking in the mirror I started anew my visible search for my missing muscles upon my body. But the person looking back at me was a person I didn’t recognize. And in my great panic I flexed and flexed over and over again, hard as I could trying to will back the missing muscle. I flexed hard, or as hard as I could, but my body was so soft and anemic that you couldn’t even tell if I was flexing or not. 

            Still, I flexed over and over again, begging, pleading, wishing, and cursing for my muscles to return. But no amount of flexing could bring back those missing muscles. And my flexing display, if you could even call what I was doing flexing, was quite pathetic... And tiring! 

            After only a few minutes of flexing as hard as I could, my soft doughy physique was tired and sore, and exhausted. And I was starting to fear that I’d never ever get my muscles back and face the hard truth, that I was now just a soft, skinny weakling. 

            It was a horrifying thought, just as horrifying as it was seeing that frail stranger in the mirror. I couldn’t believe that it was me, just as I couldn’t believe that this was somehow happening to me. 

            It was both impossible and possible, just as this all seemed like a bad dream, only I couldn’t awaken from it, as I already was wide awake. And wide is only something that I could now use to describe my state of consciousness, and no longer my body or shoulders, for they were so very narrow and slender.  

            If this was fates idea of some kind of cosmic joke, I wasn’t laughing. And yet I didn’t know what to do but curse this cruel twist of fate. I just didn’t know what to do, and as I looked at myself again in the mirror, I never felt so helpless or weak in my entire life. Mainly because I was well over a hundred pounds lighter, I used to boast that I had the strength of three men, but now I wasn’t even half the man I used to be. 

            How do I know all of that, because I weighed myself on the scale in my bathroom. I couldn’t believe my eyes, at first I thought it was just them playing tricks on me... But, I wasn’t just one hundred pounds lighter, but a full one hundred and sixty-eight pounds lighter! 

            I lost over a full person’s worth of weight, and yet there was no missing person, only my missing muscles! 

            And so I did the only thing I could think of doing... I panicked and fled from the bathroom and started searching the rest of the house. 

            They weren’t in the kitchen, nor where they in the dining room, or the living room, they weren’t in the guest room, nor in my garage... I searched each and every room, searching for my missing muscles and I came up empty. 

            Just like my lungs... They were empty and I was feeling more than a little winded... I had searched my entire house, except for my basement gym... Could my muscles be down there, that’s where I built them up and grew and forged that big muscular body of mine, so maybe, just maybe my missing muscles would be down there. 

            I mean, I checked everywhere else, and after all it’s always the last place that you look. 

            So, I hobbled down the stairs into the basement. 

            And... and... and... 

            I don’t really know what I was expecting to find, I just know I didn’t find my missing muscles down there. 

            And so in defeat I collapsed against one of my weight racks... And after more than my fair share of sobbing and crying, which I won’t go into detail about, because you’ve heard enough of my sob story, I looked at one of the dumbbells on the rack. 

            It was one of the lighter ones, and I was a little curious, and I decided to pick it up. Only I couldn’t pick it up, as it was most decidedly too heavy for me. This was one of the lightest dumbbells that I owned, and not only couldn’t I pick it up with one arm, I couldn’t even lift it with both of my arms. 

            I couldn’t believe this, I mean not only were my muscles missing, how could I ever get them back if I couldn’t even lift a tiny single dumbbell?! 

            Well, I didn’t know what else to do... So, I gave up... 

            Not for searching for my muscles, I mean trying to lift that dumbbell. But, I needed to know just how weak I was, and so I picked up the lightest dumbbell that I owned... Well, truthfully I didn’t own this one. It was pink, my wife owned it, it was hers... And I used to tease her that she’d never, ever get muscles like mine lifting those tiny pink weights. 

            And let me tell you, those tiny pink weights sure felt really, really heavy to me. After only a few reps and pumps with it, my muscles... If you could call what I had left muscles... were aching and straining and were starting to shake... 

            And if you could have seen me right then and there, you’d have laughed at seeing me lifting those pink dumbbells.  

            And that’s just what my wife did! 

            She laughed at me, and I turned around, and what I saw was a big surprise... 

            I found my muscles!

            Only they weren’t “my” muscles anymore, but hers! 

            Somehow, someway she had taken or stolen or transferred my muscles to her, and there she was big as life... Bigger actually, because she loomed over me with my missing muscles, only now they were hers! 

            And before you say anything else, let me just tell you, once again not only were my muscles in the very last place I looked, but they were also in the last place I’d ever would have thought to have looked for them. 

            I mean, why would my wife want my muscles? 

            Why would she have taken them? 

            I don’t know any of those answers, I just know she took em’! 

            I also know after my desperate and frantic search for my muscles, finding them did not make me feel any better... If anything, it made me feel even worse, and even more desperate and even more frantic! 

            But what could I do, I could do nothing. 

            And so I dropped the pink dumbbells to the ground as they were way too heavy for me to continue lifting... if you could even call what I was doing lifting... 

            Any my wife just laughed and said to me, “You know you’ll never, ever get muscles like mine, lifting those tiny pink weights.” 

            “But those are my muscles you have, and you got them by stealing them from me, not lifting weights,” I told her... Although, I tried to be stern and scolding, I think my words came out more of a whiney whimpering temper tantrum than anything else... It seemed that not only was I smaller, but my voice seemed higher as well. 

            “Maybe, but tell me something, can you lift this?” she asked me. 

            Then she walked over to the dumbbell rack and picked up the heaviest dumbbell on the rack and curled it right in front of my face. 

            This was a dumbbell that even at my biggest and strongest I’d never would have been able to curl, but watching my wife lift that dumbbell, and seeing her big beefy bicep bulging out larger and larger each time she curled and pumped that weight up and down, I realized she was even bigger and stronger than I ever was... 

            Which meant that I was now smaller and weaker than what she ever was too. 

            “M-maybe...” I said to her, not wanting to truly admit to either her or myself that she was not just stronger than me, but stronger than I ever was. 

            “Could you ever lift a weight like THIS!” she said to me, and she once again curled that weight right smack dab in front of my face. As she brought it up, she gave her bicep a mighty squeeze and a muscular explosion shot out of her arm and her bicep swelled to an unreal and unimaginative size... Which since it was in front of my face I didn’t need to imagine it, although my brain still couldn’t quite fathom it. 

            “M-m-maybe...” I said once more to her. 

            “Are you sure?” she asked me. 

            I nodded my head and said, “Y-y-yes.” 

            “Well, why don’t you give it a try then,” and she handed me that dumbbell... or rather shoved it into my chest.   

            It was too heavy for me to handle, and I went down, and the weight went down with me, landing square on top of me and my bony chest. I think I heard my sternum crack a little as it fell upon me, but I couldn’t dwell on that, as I had more pressing concerns than worrying about a few cracked ribs... Namely the heavy dumbbell that was pressing down on me, that I couldn’t lift off my chest and was now crushing me! 

            This was unreal, I was being crushed by a weight, that while heavy, I should have been easily able to lift... And yet try as hard as I could, I couldn’t budge it... I couldn’t move it...  

            And do you know why?! 

            Because my wife had stolen all size and strength! Or have you forgotten that she’d stolen my muscles and my manliness, I know I sure haven’t...  

            And now... 

            Now, I was being crushed beneath a weight that just a few days ago I could have lifted and pressed above my head with just one arm. I may be forgetful, but I’m not that forgetful. 

            But it appears my wife was, as she just laughed and walked out of the room, forgetting about me and my dire situation. 

            I called back to her, begging and pleading for her to lift the weight off me, and lucky for me she returned and picked the dumbbell up off my chest and returned it to the weight rack. 

            “Oops... Sorry, I forgot to put away my weights,” which is something she used to always yell at me for doing. 

            “Isn’t it just rude and annoying to leave them just lying around, especially when they’re too heavy for someone to lift?” She asked me, and still lying flat on my bony, scrawny little ass, all I could do was meekly nod my head in agreement with her. 

            “Well, something tells me that you won’t be leaving your weights lying around anymore... Will you?” She asked me as she scooped me up and lifted me off the floor and back onto my feet. 

            “N-n-no, I w-won't,” I said to her as I wobbled about trying to regain my balance. And it seemed on that day, that was all I would regain, and just barely. As looking at my wife and those bulky, rippling muscles of hers, I knew I wasn’t going to be regaining any of my lost muscularity. 

            I also knew that those weights of mine were now hers, as I knew I’d never, ever be able to lift them again, no matter how hard I might try... 

            And I also knew looking at her ripped and tattered shirt, with its sleeves completely torn away, that she’d be buying brand new clothes, and that was one of the many costs that I’d wind up paying in the ensuing days. 

            And that is how I wound up losing my muscles... Sure I found them in the last place I looked for them, the last place that I’d ever think of looking for them. 

            And to this day, I still don’t know why my wife stole my muscles. I know she wasn’t happy with how forgetful I was, and that I was always misplacing things, but as forgetful as I was, I don’t think there was ever a chance that I’d wind up misplacing or losing my muscles... 

            But, I did! 

            And my wife took em’! 

            Why would she want them?  

            I’ll never truly know... This all just doesn’t make sense and it just doesn’t seem possible... 

            But, it is possible, and it did happen, or have you all forgotten the story I’ve been telling you. It may seem bigger than life, but that’s namely thanks to the fact of her having stolen my muscles, and now she’s bigger than what she’d ever been in her entire life... and I’m smaller and weaker... Namely thanks to the fact of her having stolen my muscles... or once again have you forgotten that!  

            Well, let me tell you as forgetful as what I am, I sure haven’t! 

            And I don’t think I ever will forget the fact that my wife stole my muscles. 

            But, I really can’t believe that I’ve lost my muscles. That I lost all my size and strength, and I kind of feel, that I lost with it my identity as a big strong man... Mainly because I’m not a big strong man anymore. 

            And while you might not believe my story, if you know what's good for you, you better believe it... And you better take heed of my advice. Don’t take your muscles for granted... Heck, don’t take your wife for granted either, because she just might take those muscles of yours. 

            And you just might find yourself waking up one morning like how I did, shrunken, shriveled up, a small, shrimp of a man, with all your size and strength lost... And while you’re running around like a small, scared child, don’t be surprised if you find those lost muscles of yours in the very last place you’d ever look... 

            And on the very last person whom you’d ever suspect could have taken them. 

            Because, I know I can’t be the only man who's had this happen to him, and I know I certainly won’t be the last. 

            So, don’t be surprised if this happens to you, you’ve been warned and if it does happen to you, you’ll find that you’ll be looking at your wife in a whole new way... Mainly cos you’ve never, ever seen such big and large muscles on her. 

            And you’ll be looking at the world in a whole new way, not just from your diminished perspective, but because women are taking over. 

            Now, if you excuse me, I’ve got to go pick up my wife’s dry cleaning and about a dozen or so more errands and chores for her, and I better get going because I really don’t want to make her angry... But first I’ve got to locate my keys...  

            I can’t seem to find them, but I know they’ll be in the last place that I look...