Queer Cheers (Short Story)

Queer Cheers: How A Small Town Cheer Squad Shook Up The Gridiron With Their Big, Big Girly Muscles!

We all know muscles are for men, and that women are just naturally weaker. That’s not just a simple fact, that’s biology. What if I told you there is something queer going on in this country. What if girls are becoming stronger than boys?

This writer was shocked to learn of a strange situation brewing in some wheat town in Kansas. The football team at this small town high school couldn't win a game. Then the cheer squad stepped onto the field - and everything changed. The local gridiron gang, a hapless crew never winning more than two games a season, has been thoroughly muscled out of their own stadium—literally!—by the strapping amazons of their very own cheer squad.

After countless losing seasons the girls were anything but cheerful and the pep squad decided it was time to put some pep in their step, and some beef onto their once small and petite frames, and step up and take control. Tired of all their cheers being for naught and feeling voiceless and powerless the girls decided it was time to time to give up cheerleading. But, these girls are not quitters. They just were tired of cheering for wimpy losers, and so they traded in their pom-poms for barbells. Soon these girls were out-lifting all the boys at their school.

As the girls biceps swelled up growing bigger and bigger, and the muscles on their bodies expanded as they grew larger and stronger, the boys were feeling threatened. The girls were out-lifting them and outmuscling them in the gym and so within a matter of months the boys were both literally and figuratively muscled out of the gym by the cheerleaders.

What could the boys do? It really seems they were just a lazy bunch of limp noodle losers. Limp noodle as in their arms were skinny and weak like limp noodles (what else did you think I was talking about?). And the girls were cheering on each and every muscular gain they made, they decided to issue a challenge to the boys.

What choice did those chumps have, they had been challenged by the hulking heroines, and so they had to accept the challenge or face further belittlement and ridicule from the girls. Let me tell you I don’t think anything can ever be as belittling as a girl having bigger muscles than you, let alone a whole squad of them. The boys were in a bad place, trapped between a rock and a bunch of young cheerleader hardbodies. Still, they had one last chance to prove their might, and they just hoped that the girls mighty female muscles weren’t as mighty as they looked.

Foolish as they were, seeing as even while wearing their football gear and shoulder pads, that their shoulders were smaller than those of those brawny beauties, and even with all that football gear, it would offer little protection against the girls muscular superiority.  Next to the girls they looked frail and weak and it should come as no surprise that those little losers got trampled— and got trampled bad!

Without a doubt those musclebound cheerleaders flattened those fragile boys on the football field. While in the past those same soft boys used to joke about "hitting like a girl" as if that statement was an insult. And to this writer, I myself have used it many times in my sport articles to describe weak ineffectual defenses.

But now… Everything has been flipped upside down, much like how the girls flipped and tossed all those weak wimpy boys on that football field. Why I’d bet that they'd now give their left arms to hit half as hard as those bulldozing beefcake beauties. Because trust me, after the game, the boys didn’t just say those cheerleaders hit like girls, but they felt like they were hit by Mack trucks and run over by tanks. Pretty little tanks, wearing cute little tank tops, with not so little muscles, trampling those boys as their miniskirts billowed and their muscles rippled and their thighs bulged with terrible feminine power.

Yes, indeed… In the past I might have very well said that those boys “hit like a bunch of girls.” Only if they did so, then maybe perhaps they would have had a chance at winning that game. Sadly for them, that bunch of girls, actually hit and tackled like girls.

They not only lost the game, they lost their places on the football team, and they lost any shred of male pride that they ever possessed. These former football jocks are now jokes, as they’ve been sidelined and subdued, and while they were used to hearing all the hometown boos after each and every one of their many, many loses, they’re now hearing cheers coming from the crowd. And they’re the ones leading the crowd in such cheers.

That’s right as the former cheerleaders now turned Amazonian football players are flattening foes under thunderous tackles that leave defenses dazed and dents in the dirt, and steamrolling all the silly boys who stand in their way to score touchdown after touchdown, are being cheered on by their schools ex-jocks.

This isn’t a joke. While those boys might have been laughable as a football team, their fate at becoming cheerleaders would be equally laughable, if it didn’t make every red-blooded male want to weep and cry. But, it gets worse… Much, much, much worse…

And what can be worse than the boys at that school, the jokes of ex-jock football players that are now sidelined and cheering on the girls... Besides the fact that they sadly make better cheerleaders than they ever did football players...  What with all their high kicks and cheers and chants... Worse is they're wearing skirts!

Yet, it gets even worse…

They’re not just sporting pleated skirts, but also shaved legs!

You would think losing to a bunch of buff girls would be shameful enough, but it seems there is no end to the shame and humiliation that these boys have been subjected to. However, it does appear that the endless losing streak has finally been snapped along with any semblance of sanity and understanding of gender roles in this strange new society.

A society where girls are strong and boys are weak. Where girls can be football players and boys can be cheerleaders. I know this all sounds insane, but this is all true. And the girls didn’t just beat down and break societal gender norms after they beat down and broke both the bodies and spirits of all the boys on their football team.

No, they did so in their entire state.

These dames didn't just dominate the lads at their school, they crushed all boys in the entire wheat filled state of Kansas. Are all the boys in Kansas just a bunch of weak chaff that falls to the brawny girly arms wielding the sickle of gender empowerment. Does feminine beef trump American boys raised on wheat and whole grains?

I don’t know…

What I do know is, these beauties are real brutes on the football field as they bulldoze over all the boys, leaving gaping trenches in once firm turf. Their once frail feminine bodies are now powerful like freight trains as they plow through entire defensive lines. Their strong and strapping sensual physiques are just too powerful for the boys as they strong arm and use mighty stiff-arms to toss away any boy dumb enough to stand in their way.

Choo-choo…

Do you hear that?

That’s the sound of the female muscle empowerment train running over you and all society. I don’t know if this train can be stopped, just as none of the boys in the entire state of Kansas could stand up and stop the girls. That’s right within a single season the cheerleaders at some Podunk rural small town in Kansas, built up their bodies with big, big girly muscles, and became statewide football champs. And they did it all while looking just as gorgeous as ever, with their gorgeously engorged muscular hardbodies, and they did so without ever breaking a single nail. Although on their way to becoming champs they did break lots of boy’s foolish and fragile egos.

All this leaves not just me, but an entire nation with lots and lots of questions.

Could an entire state be filled with nothing but wimpy chumps, or are these girls that big and strong?

Are their mighty female muscles that mighty?

Is this the end of the era of male dominance?

As girl's gains grow, guys everywhere should grow fearful. The future may be female! A wider female muscle march could leave legions of limp-wristed lads in their wake. Let's hope this bizarre display remains an isolated incident, not a glimpse at a gym-pumping girly juggernaut just beginning to flex its strapping shoulders and scorch the gridiron.

It seems the future indeed belongs to these fearsome femmes - leaving a trail of trampled testosterone in their wake on what was formerly hallowed gridiron but has become an arena for the ascension of these mighty musclebound maidens now motoring toward football glory.

There are signs that this strange girl power movement is a growing trend and should be a growing concern for all the boys and men across the land. As more and more girls are picking up barbells and building up their bodies with mighty female muscles. A wider female lifting movement could undo the natural order. I for one don’t think it’s fair for the fairer sex to now be so power, strong and dominate. It just doesn’t seem right or natural. For now we can only hope this queer cheer revolution remains an anomaly, not a new normal. But as girl's gains grow, guys everywhere should grow watchful. The era of estrogen empowerment may be dawning - and we're not ready.

Is this the end of the era of male dominance?  You may be hearing more and more queer cheers coming from the sidelines and the future may indeed be female!