Hello again

First of all, I'm sorry I didn't warn anyone of my absence. I know many of you like me as a person, and I'm thankful for that, but I had to take some time off after recent events.

I'll have a longer explanation below, but for the sake of practicality, here's the short version:

After I was fired from the school I taught, I went straight back to drawing. I took no time to actually process what had happened, and because of that I received an emotional shock that caused me to just stop functioning.

Long story short, I had to take this time to think on my life and experiences, and make some big decisions. The most pertinent one for the patreon site is that I decided to stop being afraid and commit to living 100% off my art. Not forever, I dont think, but at least for the next few months.

That means I'll put more time and effort to make the page more akin to what it was when I first started it: more weekly posts, actually finishing pool drawings, WIP and sketch posts, the works.

Thanks for reading this. I'll be on discord around 1pm BRT, if anyone wants to chat for a bit.

Long version below. See you guys soon.

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So, like I said, people usually need some time to process when something bad happens. Some may think being fired isn't such a big deal, but to me it is. I didn't really care about the school itself, but I cared about my students. I wanted them to learn and have fun on every one of my classes, and that's where I poured my heart and soul. And time.

The school didn't pay me well at all. Still, despite the abusive work schedule and issues with the staff, I loved the work itself. And I wanted to be good at it. Being fired made me think I wasn't good enough. Not just as a teacher, but as a professional, a worker, a person. And yet, I hadn't stopped to actually consider this at a conscious level. And so, one of my former students asked for me.

He found out I had been fired, and sought me out via skype. When we talked, he said he didn't want to study anymore if I wasn't going to be one of his teachers. Said my classes were the best he ever had, and asked if I could be his private teacher. I cried. My emotions about the lay off all came at me full force, and I couldn't help but cry.

I told him I'd think about it, but this is what caused me to simply shut down. I couldn't work anymore. I couldn't function enough outside of basic functions and lapses of inspiration. I wrote a lot on a journal how I felt and what I thought during this time.

What I finally figured out is that, for starters, I was at least a good teacher. If a student said he loved my classes this much, I figured I wasn't a bad one. Also, I decided I'll not be scared or insecure about what I can or can't do anymore. I'll be decisive, even if that means I'll fail or I don't think I can do some project.

Thirdly, I thought of a goal for myself. Not sure how I'll do it, but I want to teach something in the future, especially about art. I was considering doing some tutorials on my style of art, how I draw muscle girls and my process as a whole. Not sure it would be useful for anyone, but if it is of use to just one person, I'd be happy.

I think that's about it. I can't promise to be around much to talk, I'm not a very organized person, I found out recently I have undiagnosed ADHD and I am a more reserved person by nature. But I will try to be around as often as I can, both here and on discord.

Thank you all for sticking by me. I'll have a special gift for everyone on this year's Christmas, look forward to it!

See you soon.