My Weekly Gag Villain Job is Pretty Fulfilling: Chapter 13

My Weekly Gag Villain Job is Pretty Fulfilling: Chapter 13

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Commissioned by Arksoul

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Alex threw a punch at me, and I evaded by simply shifting my entire being out of the way.

“Damn, that’s like getting invincibility frames.”

“You can still get hit while doing it, but it’s just harder.” I told her, and she went after me. She wore denim shorts, a white tank top, a cap, and sneakers. Her outfit for actual confrontations with the Sentinels was still up in the air. Evil magical girl-esque or straight-up dark lady? She was fine with either option, so I had to be troubled with the decision. “The Sentinels fire off their beams, and they’re practically instant.”

“Just have to dodge away from where they’re looking or pointing, then. The first generation can’t make them curve or home in for a while, right?” Alex got in close, putting me in her reach, and started throwing jabs towards my face. Her aim was more to occlude my vision. Using the ‘dodge’ that I showed her, she built up speed quickly and aimed a knee at my chin. I just let my head split apart into strands. “Augh, that looks so creepy!”

“That would’ve hit against the Sentinels, but they can also turn into light, reform, and attack back. Think of it as a parry or counter that you need to watch out for.” I was acting like a dummy for her to attack. She wasn’t using her power, but it was important for her to understand what she could do with her new form and what she was going to face. “When they do that, they can gather a lot of power, and if you decide to evade too early or too late…”

“Massive damage, right?” Alex grimaced before unraveling and reforming. She stared at her hand and did it again. “Half a second. Maybe a bit less. When we’re reforming, we’re more likely to be hurt, right?”

“The strands are as tough as you, but there’s less substance to chew through. When you’re combined and together, you’re a single, solid piece that supports itself. As strands or shadow, you’re diluted or apart.” Alex nodded before taking a seat cross-legged on the floor of the gym. Our underground facility was already mostly completed. We even had a land-based fiber optic cable running into our space via a portal. Faster internet than back on the island base. “If you’re heavily damaged, you’ll be blown apart, but I’ll put you back together here.”

“I don’t care much for the idea of losing, but just respawning if I do sounds good.” Alex grumbled before closing her eyes. She shifted through multiple forms and faces before standing up again and looking at me. “Why can’t I go full shadow like you?”

Ebb chimed in at that.

“You have a human soul undedicated to the Legion. You control the darkness. You are not of it.” Ebb had a yellow hard hat on while it monitored our facility’s construction. Naturally, it focused on the kitchen and communications first. Imps were consuming large amounts of grain porridge mixed with loads of dried fruit and sugar. We were exchanging moon rocks, rare earth metals, and gems for metric tons of basic agricultural products to swiftly increase our numbers. The plan was to swallow the moon up within a month. “Dedicate your heart to the Legion, and you will be granted immense power.”

“You’ll need to work hard and pitch in a lot more if you do that. Just stay at your current level. You can quit anytime and go back to resting nicely if you do.” I shook my head, and Alex nodded. Ebb’s glare was obvious, but I wasn’t about to tell Alex to join up. I revived her because she had her life cut short through violence, and she was a good fit for our plans. Making her an eternal ally dedicated to the Legion? That should take more than one conversation to handle. “Fight the Sentinels a couple of times, be our eyes on the ground, and besides that, just enjoy living normally.”

“Hm. Sounds good. I’ll think about joining up, though. You guys are pretty cool.” Ebb preened at the praise, but I just sighed. She should think about it more after experiencing regular life. “So, how about you teach me how to use the Imps like weapons?”

At her command, an imp came out of her shadow in the form of a cat. She let it clamber over her, and a smile flitted across her features. It was a feline of shadow with large yellow circles as eyes, but it imitated a real cat well enough to be cute.

Ah, who am I kidding?

The Imps were naturally cute.

“I think it’d be best for you to train that on your own. Creativity is our best advantage. The Sentinels have raw power and brute force, so we need to be cunning.” I got an Imp myself and made it change through multiple shapes. A living knife, sword, and spear. Even a shield. However, I made it grow smaller until it was the size of a fly. A fly that could surge faster than a bullet and rip through steel with ease. “I told you about how I’d take the world with them, right?”

“Yeah. Quick kills. Just a whole lot of shadows taking everyone out at the same time. That’ll take years, though. You need one Imp for everyone.” We had just several thousand now, and even with our current food inputs, it’ll take a while for us to reach the billions that we need. I didn’t want to take any chances and accidentally leave people to suffer, though. It should just be one single blink, and the world ends. “Are you sure you don’t want to take one country at a time out, though?”

“The world is too interconnected. People will know, people will panic, and that’ll lead to conflict and suffering.” I shook my head. Even if I took down one small country after another, it’ll be picked up on. News will travel, people will be terrified, and they’ll do crazy stuff. “Not to mention they might resist and develop something that can prolong the fight. Then, it’ll just be a war.”

“Right, right. That’ll suck.” Alex shook her head and picked up her cat. She brought it up to her face, and it transformed into a toolbox hammer. She swung it around, looking very natural with it, before turning it into a knife. With a throw towards a target in the corner of her vision, it flew straight and punched through the target before turning into a bird and returning to her hand. “Hm, I could leave them around and turn them all into birds that’ll attack everything on their way back. It’ll be a nice trap to spring, right?”

“It would, but make sure to avoid too much damage. We’ve already attracted enough attention.”

“Be creative, but not too creative?”

“Anything we’ve done before is fine.” I made a show of making a large, titanic hand erupt out of a shadow and just do a sweep of the large training room. Alex gave an ‘ah.’ “Just be creative with it. Don’t use everything if you don’t need to.”

Alex’s brow furrowed, but she nodded and started trying out a few new techniques.

She was supposed to hold back for a fair amount of time, but I wasn’t about to gimp her abilities. If things got dire, then I wanted her to be able to retreat. Even if I could put her back together, I didn’t want her to get hurt enough for that to be needed if it could be avoided.

Honestly, if she had a less confrontational personality, I’d encourage her to just run away whenever more than one Sentinel is actively fighting her.

But she doesn’t want to do that, so she needs to be strong.

…

Interlude: Adam

…

A simulated version of the Imp was created for Taskforce Lightbringer’s members to confront. To defeat it, the artificial Imp needed to be struck with a certain amount of heat, electricity, or energy.

Much to my dismay, that was the extent of it.

“It’s too slow, too stupid, and too weak.” Thunderer grunted as he watched the ongoing fight. He lounged in a chair and observed the training ground with a mocktail in hand. Most of the recruits were winning by keeping their distance. “Those things you fought? They worked together and were quick. They’ll flank them and tear them up.”

“I think they were holding back. Most of my team could’ve died. They just took them out of the fight.” I told Thunderer. I was exempt from the current trial. I fought them before and held them back. My role wasn’t about dealing damage but about taking hits from the Imps and keeping on fighting. “They’re also just fighting one at a time. They came in swarms. The Sentinels fight dozens at a time. Each.”

“They don’t believe them. Even after their battlestation got swarmed inside and out. Obviously.” Thunderer scoffed and shook his head. The door to our observation room opened. We were the only two present, if the android and gynoids manning the food and drink stations weren’t counted. “Seems like we have a guest.”

“A guest? I was told to come here after my evaluation was completed.” The new Akimitsu platform’s brow furrowed. Her skin was smooth and clear, with all her features sculpted to evoke beauty. She had brown hair in a ponytail with straight bangs, along with hazel eyes. A model that would be envied by all on the runway. All my instincts told me to run away from her. “Ah, that was a joke, since the two of you are the only ones present in the observation deck.”

“Yep. You figured that out quickly. Akimitsu’s really leapfrogging ahead in tech.” Thunderer stated, and the cyborg primly nodded. She looked around, and her gaze settled on Thunderer’s drink. “Oh, you can eat?”

“I have a supplementary reactor that can utilize most organic-based substances, yes.” She said so and went over to the buffet line. Within seconds, she had two towering plates of food and primly placed them on a table while taking a chair. Thunderer seemed amused at the sight of such an elegantly crafted individual assembling so much food. She started consuming gracefully… but swiftly. After several bites, she looked our way. “I believe you two were conversing regarding the practice drone being insufficient?”

“We were, yep. It shows people how to hurt them but not how to fight them. You’ve seen the data, right?”

“Indeed. I have fought against them in virtual simulations. I can fight against three dozen or so before being defeated. If they were unleashed completely, I estimate half that number before I am destroyed.” Thunderer leaned forward at her words, and so did I. She took note and stopped eating for a moment. “Then, there is the matter of their controller. The Akimitsu corporation is hard at work with the Sentinels to create a weapon that can harm it. As of now, there is nothing that can do so. Not even your most powerful attack on record, Thunderer, can harm it.”

“Thought that’d be the case, but it’s something else to have supercomputers confirm it. That thing’s basically a Kaiju that’s the size of a human, then.” The cyborg considered that statement before deftly nodding. “What are the Sentinels cooking up with corporate, then?”

“A crystal composed of Sentinel ritual knowledge and man-made synthetic materials and industry. A solar sail will be unfurled in geosynchronous orbit that will concentrate light into crystals, which can provide Sentinel firepower to War Maidens and other elite troops.” Hearing the plan allowed a weight to fall from my shoulders, while Thunderer gave a whistle of approval. The cyborg gave a nod and snuck in a large bite of steak before speaking once again after chewing deftly and swallowing. “I will be augmented with the first shipment back. With my capabilities, we hope that I can be an artificial Sentinel for a few minutes before resupply. Upon success, more of the Tenshi series will be produced to support the Sentinels.”

“Make more Sentinels, since we don’t have enough right now. Smart. Also, that’s probably why we’re so close to Japan’s biggest spaceport, right?” The cyborg paused at Thunderer’s word before nodding. She all but confirmed that we were guardians for the true solution to the Legion of Shadow. Taskforce Lightbringer, despite all the funds and political capital spent to bring it together, was a cover to create artificial Sentinels. “Well, that’s a weight off my shoulders. I thought you were going to ask this ramshackle group to fight the Legion by itself. Putting these guys on the attack would be suicide. On the defensive? We can get things to work.”

“I cannot confirm nor deny any of those statements, but I can assure you that I and my future sisters will fight with all that we have.” The cyborg stated with a deft nod. One that would’ve been a bit more serious if not for crumbs of food and splatters of sauce around her lips. I idly wondered if that was built in to make her seem more approachable. Evoking slight feelings of disgust to overcome the inhuman beauty, perhaps. A glance towards the other androids and gynoids, pointedly looking away from her or holding back bemusement, informed me that was not the case. “We will find victory against the Shadow Legion and then work to bring peace where we are permitted.”

Thunderer gave a hum at her statement, while I simply gave a small nod.

Then, just as she finished off her first towering plate, Thunderer asked her another question.

“So, in those virtual simulations, how long were they able to last against their leader?”

That made the cyborg pause, frown, and then sit back while crossing her arms beneath her well-fitted suit.

“I held out against it for two and a half minutes. The Sentinels say that is enough time for them to amass enough power for a significant strike and land it… but I believe that the combat data is incomplete.” The war machine stated simply and shook her head. “With its durability and strength, what if it showcased even half the viciousness and lethality of the baseline creature? I will only last for a minute at best.”

“And, if it revealed it was a far better fighter and was far stronger than the normal Imp?”

A faint smile played on the warmachine’s lips, and for the first time I saw humanity instead of a perfected cyborg.

“Then, I will have to entrust my sisters to finish the job after a handful of seconds.”