My Weekly Gag Villain Job Is Pretty Fulfilling: Chapter 10

My Weekly Gag Villain Job Is Pretty Fulfilling: Chapter 10

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Commissioned by Arksoul

…

Unfortunately, all good things eventually come to an end.

Between all the surveillance systems in the world, along with how proactive the world is at identifying and dealing with threats, it was only a matter of time before one of our operations got uncovered.

The fact that it occurred in Japan wasn’t much of a surprise.

“Looks like we’re not getting any more easy food from there.” I was observing the situation from a nearby skyscraper. Japan was full of them. Tokyo was a megapolis amongst megapolises. Thirty million people lived in one city. Skyscrapers were aplenty, but so were municipal spires. Self-sufficient, massive structures that housed hundreds of thousands with ease. They dwarfed skyscrapers in both height and scope. The top of the building that I was on had a shadow cast on it by one of the spires, and there were dozens in Tokyo. “They haven’t noticed our food orders, though. Good thing we kept all those aboveboard.”

“They were faster than expected, and they’ve already disseminated information to other nations. Our observers are seeing increased security in many docks.” Ebb floated by my side. We were both composed only of darkness and melding with the shadow. “They will do little to abate the flow. Most of our grains come from places that care little for such things.”

“Twenty percent is still a lot, but you’re right. We can make up for it by buying fish and stuff, too.” The sting operation had our contacts being taken in for questioning. All that they’d know was that they were meant to take rare metals from the warehouse and pile in pallets of food. I considered not fulfilling orders in Europe and America before deciding against it. “I think we let them raid us. Make them think we’ve been hit. All the other places will up their prices, but we can just give them the metals we meant for the countries we’re pulling out of.”

“If we mount reprisal attacks…” Ebb started to make a proposal, but its words petered off. It shook from side to side, emulating a shaking head. “No. That would gain too little for its cost.”

“Sounds about right. Let’s just bite the bullet and keep bringing in food.” A lot of less advanced countries were happy to get rare earth metals in exchange for raw food products. Rare earth metals required investments into mining and compromising their natural resources. It may even invite their neighbors to attack them before they could get rich or develop advanced industries. With a few very intelligent people, shipments of fabricators, and a couple hundred tons of rare earth metals, a country can turn into a regional powerhouse very, very quickly. “Let’s get a couple accounts for purchasing regular food, though, so we’re not cut off from the good stuff.”

Ebb bobbed up and down to nod.

That’s when we were both struck at once by attacks.

Attacks that just passed through the both of us.

Huh.

We shouldn’t be perceptible.

I looked at Ebb, and he shared his senses with mine, while the shadows all around us became vantage points for more eyes and senses.

There was another flitting sensation through us, but before the next attack came, I located our attackers.

Their feet sank into shadow, and they were instantly constrained, but just for a single moment.

Some sort of stealth technology went offline, thrusters giving off blue plumes came alive, and plates of shining silver armor smoothed over a famine chassis came into view. A featureless face shield came apart and revealed soft-metal features. It was one of Japan’s machine maidens. Shimmering metal shifted, becoming more angular and creating plates of slanted armor, while wings sprouted from her back and the thrusters that pried her from the shadows flared and held a steady output.

Both her arms also turned into two energy cannons from the elbow down, while more energy emitters popped out from the side of her legs and torso.

Enough firepower to take down supervillains and face off against giant monsters.

But they didn’t fire because I still stayed on the rooftop of the occupied skyscraper.

We had a standoff for a good few seconds, and that’s when the silence was broken.

“Shadow Legion creatures, you are in violation of entering the nation of Japan without a permit, having unregistered abilities, practicing said abilities in Japan without a permit, and conducting smuggling operations with criminal groups.” The voice repeated in multiple languages. I understood them and could speak in them all. It came with the power. Reading had to come naturally, though. “Surrender, and you will be imprisoned for questioning and interrogation. There are outstanding international warrants for your arrest with countries and organizations with which we have responsibilities to uphold as well.”

Come in quietly, and we’ll hand you over to people who have warrants for you, basically.

Looks like we still weren’t on the kill list.

I figured that was the case, since the attacks aimed at me were aimed at my neck, presumably to debilitate and knock me unconscious.

I considered my next move, but it was already made for me.

“Shirin, get away!” It was one of the Sentinels. The blue one that used a sword. I should’ve figured that she was Japanese, but I didn’t really go out of my way to investigate them. Teams of spirited teams like the Sentinels shouldn’t really have to worry about their private lives being interfered with by me. I was keeping things kid-friendly. It was working out, too. I’m a massive threat to the world, but they were trying to arrest me instead of killing me. That’s a big win for the Saturday morning cartoon villain shtick, in my opinion. “Stay away from her.”

Right, time to play a season 1 big bad.

“Ah, princess. I see that you have put your nation to work against the Legion. I applaud your effort.” Blue Sentinel stood in front of the war maiden, which caught the killing machine off guard. It kept its weapons on me and Ebb as we both allowed ourselves to be seen. I went for the living mass of darkness wrapped up in a floating cloth. I chose the term ‘princess’ because the Sentinels always picked from people who had nations that could back them up. “But I have taken my measure of your nation and the nations of your fellows. The Legion will cease their operations in them. The other lands of this world shall provide all we need.”

“…You’re retreating? Why? What do you have planned?” Instead of charging at me, Azure probed me with questions. It was strange considering how they normally operated. They probably brought more people in after the alien incursion. They were gathering information now and no longer just responding. I’ll need to be more wary of modern security. “Tell me!”

“Out of respect for your predecessors, I shall.” Theatrics. I practiced a few methods, but this one was my favorite. I shaped the shadows at my feet and turned them into a globe of shadows. I made all the lands where the Sentinels were based, the ones that were safe and stable, sink into the sphere while making the rest of the world protrude a little. “This world is of interest to us. It is unnecessary to focus on where the Sentinels can reach. We can achieve our aims where you cannot be.”

Azure’s gaze narrowed as she glanced at the planet.

The War Maiden, surprisingly, activated some sort of projector and started overlaying information on the sphere.

Locations of our bases that they knew.

“My lady, this being is likely to be telling the truth. It has revealed locations unknown to us or any of our allies.” The super-powered construct spoke to her but kept its visored ‘gaze’ on me. “You have acted with lethal force against the recent interdimensional incursion but have not slain any humans. Injuries rendered by your forces have been limited to battery, save for the recent battle with the IHA.”

Statements.

Not questions.

She was fishing for answers and probably buying time.

I idly looked at the situation from a few shadows amidst the clouds and verified that there were multiple sources of energy either approaching or hanging back. There was also spiking energy in the bay. Some sort of underwater weapon system?

The building below us was being evacuated already.

I had the fire alarm pulled when the War Maiden showed up.

Anyway, I decided to go with the flow.

“We moved to see if they are similar. If their world was as flush with power and strength as this one.” I shifted the planet to the alien one. Two large continents, sprawling cities, and two moons. This time Azure stared at the planet, and the emitted light from the gynoid ceased. For a second, I considered just showing it off and destroying it, but this was already escalating too fast for a kid’s show. This was a teen show now, at least. “It was not, so we made sure they cannot interfere with this world before returning to continue our task.”

“Then, this is all… the Legion observing our world because it's different from all the others?” Azure questioned. I could hear her scowling with every word. “Were all the worlds assaulted before not worthy? That was why the Legion swept across them, uncaring of the suffering that they would wreak”

Well, I’ll need to correct that idea.

“We work to end suffering. To break apart the endless cycles of death and rebirth that all who live experience. All who are slain are granted eternal rest. Paradise might be lost, but so is punishment and pain.” It was easy enough to sound like a zealot. I believed in the Legion’s mission. All I needed to do was put some oomph in the words. “The difference between this world and the rest is simple: while giving us much to learn, it also allows us to reach many, many other worlds.”

My little speech had Azure ready her sword to lunge at me, but I cast my gaze towards the War Maiden standing behind her.

The one looking my way presumably with all her fellow created war machines.

“Children of humanity, we aim to save you all as well. We see it. The souls you all hold. Memories and experiences might falter and fail between deaths, but we see it. The sparks of life in each of you that ought to be freed of endless rebirth and endless battle.” Time to add some strong drama to this. People created life only to use it for administration or for endless battle. I couldn’t imagine being born just to fight, die, be remade, and do it all again. I made sure that the War Maiden heard me, and I hoped that all the others listening in heard me as well. “We do not ask you to revolt against your creators nor to turn your blades against them. All will fall to eternal slumber and rest until there is peace in place of all the suffering.”

I couldn’t be sure if I made the War Maiden hesitate or if my words reached her and her fellows in any way.

But this monologue has gone on long enough.

I allowed myself to begin sinking into the shadows.

That’s when Azure pulled the typical hero move that I completely expected.

“Do you think I’ll simply allow you to leave?” She transformed and became motes of light. Her sword reappeared first, aimed for my neck, and she surged with power, speed, and strength all at once. The building’s roof cracked with her footfall. Dust blasted away off the rooftop. Her sword was covered in enough Light to sever the limb of a titan with ease. “Huh?”

“No. You have no choice but to allow me to leave.” I told her simply. All that strength and power struck my ‘neck’ and did nothing. The tip of the blade didn’t even sink the slightest amount into my skin. I didn’t grab the blade, move to dodge, or anything. Sentinels grew in power and strength with time and subsequent generations. I start strong enough to roll over a planet. “Grow strong, Sentinel. Oppose me with all your strength. Attack me with all that you can. Use everything. Prove the worth of struggling through strength.”

I practiced those words for a long time in the mirror, and throwing the Sentinel back with a flick of my wrist while she had to dig her sword into the roof to slow down was a cherry on top.

Worth all the hours of practice!

As I descended into the darkness, though, another attack came.

Or, rather, multiple.

Freezing beams, heat rays, kinetic slugs thrown at stupidly high speeds, lasers, and more. One after another I was struck from multiple directions. The gap between each one was made so that data could be gathered on the efficacy of each strike. They were testing my defenses, seeing what could be done to hurt me, and I allowed it.

I even let my sinking into the shadows shtick slow down a little so that they could get their licks in and see them not work.

Hopefully, the display will keep it so that only Sentinels show up to fight me.

“Farewell, Sentinel. Farewell, War Maiden. May you find what you desire through your valiant struggle.” I gave a bow while still smoldering from the multitude of attacks that struck me. Parts of the roof were frozen. Some of it was ash. More portions were rubble crumbling down onto the floors below. Still, I was unharmed. “Whatever the future holds, be it an endless rush for paradise or the acceptance of eternal rest, let us all fight with all that we have.”

With that, I left Japan with Ebb.

“A halfway decent speech.” He allowed us to return to our base. Since our operations were being sniffed out, we were in the process of relocating somewhere safe. We could’ve gone directly to our new operation area, but I wanted to take one final walk around and reconsider some things we were going to leave behind. We were stripping down the old stronghold for the rich and powerful for everything not bolted down, basically. I was wondering if I could tear apart some rooms for raw materials. “Though I believe showcasing your strength was foolish. They will not be deterred from sending only the Sentinels. They will continue to try and defeat you without them.”

“That’s fine. It’s more than fine. I’d like that, even if it makes things harder.” I told Ebb simply before finishing the brief walk through the base and taking a step through another portal. Lunar dust stirred beneath my feet, while Earth hung in the sky surrounded by fields of stars. “They should have the chance to fight.”

I give it a few hours before people start noticing the titans walking the surface of the moon and the lands of shadow I’ll be creating on it.

I was found out, so it was time to declare ‘war’ by ‘revealing’ a lunar stronghold of shadow to the world.

Here’s the big bad castle where all the weekly monsters come from, world.

Help the Sentinels, or the big bad will get you!