A Perfectly Logical Guide to a Superhuman Apocalypse: 73

A Perfectly Logical Guide to a Superhuman Apocalypse: 73

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Wordcount: 2500

Commissioned by Arksoul

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“Hey.”

“Yeah, I see it.”

“This is pretty wild.”

“Mhmm, yep.”

“That’s a noble academy for superheroes.”

“Correct.”

I looked at Seran and she looked at me, while before the two of us once again looked at the Victorian-esque university in front of the two of us.

Lady Edel was talking to the people at the gate and setting up a meeting for us.

“Hey, if we’re lucky, it’s just a posh high school filled with superpowered teenagers. Just the regular level of crazy.”

“Seran, we’ve gone through an apocalypse already. If something contrived is going to happen, it will.”

“Yeah… I know.” Seran’s ears drooped and her tail wrapped around her leg. The simple fact of the matter was that I just had to be truthful about this sort of thing. We were both looking at the generic setting for a whole lot of crazy young adult novels and comic book settings. It was right in front of us. “This is going to be crazy.”

“Shounen crazy or Shoujo crazy?”

“…I’m hoping for Shounen. Battle-schools with tournament arcs and all that.” Seran shook her head and sighed. She ran her hand back over her hair in frustration. She calmed down noticeably. Friend, did you really program your new body to get easily calmed down by headpats? I don’t know whether to impressed by the dedication to the character or worried for yourself. You’re emulating your favorite character, right? Not becoming her? “Or, if we’re unlucky, it’ll be worse. An actual high school filled with teenagers with superpowers. Cliques, bullies, and oversized egos galore.”

“I’m not seeing an arena anywhere, so I think we’re out of luck with the battle school setting. Could just be an actual school all dolled up. How was highschool in Canada? All I know is that your teachers were paid a bit more and there wasn’t as much violence.”

“We turned to at-home schooling after the first couple incidents. Can’t have violence at school if no one’s at school, right?” Seran stated with a shake of her head. Still, though, she frowned at the large, imposing four-story structure with lots of glass windows, arches and even some gargoyles on belfries of cardinal towers reminiscent of Big Ben, sans the clock and much smaller of course. “There were a lot of complaints, but kids were safer, and we never saw how education turned out because the world ended before the kids graduated.”

“Before most of the children graduated. The few that did were wholly unprepared and bereft of social connections to their peers. This school is necessary not only as a place of education, but a method for fostering community.” Lady Edel inserted herself into our conversation, while the gates opened. I went ahead and just teleported all three of us at the front door. Instead of looking freaked out, she seemed to just nod at the convenience… or at me opening the door for her and Seran. Though she looked like a young woman, with her poise and way of speaking, I was sure that she was at least twice my age. Well, twice my maturity, at least. “The first resulting class from Lucille’s Academy has all but established the current order. It has given us stability and peace of mind. The next graduating class will allow us to grow.”

“If we don’t send them off to die in an unnecessary war.” Another voice piped up and another… red-eyed and white-haired young woman came forward. I looked at Seran and she looked as perturbed as I was. The aristocrats taking up central Canada seemed to have a theme going. I’m totally betting on some sort of vampire analogue. Vampire aristocrats vs weeb furries vs larping Nazis. Yeah. That sounds pretty normal for this place. “Welcome to my Academy, sister. And, I see that you’ve brought guests. Mayor Seran… and the rumored teleporter that allowed the United States to persist so long.”

Seran’s hand went ahead and clung to my cuff, while almost taking a step back. The passive-aggressiveness that came from the headmistress of the place got to her. Wow. Seran’s really improved! Back in the day, she’d have run away already. I’ll need to congratulate her on that later. Not in public, of course.

Anyway, time to get the heat off my friend.

“Sup. You can call me Egress. Hired transporter by Seran. If you want more details, ask Lady Edel. Whole thing’s whether or not you agree, I think.” I pulled myself and Seran out of the line of fire without any hesitation. This was domestic politics between these two sisters. If they were seriously going the aristocracy shtick, these two must’ve fought hard over who’d rule over the household. The headmistress, Lucille, lost. She could basically say anything she wanted just to spite her older sibling. Politics, with a dash of family feud. Fun. “Have you got a room we can stay in while you two hash out the details for your nation?”

With a display of speed that made her a blur, Lucille leapt from the second floor where she’d greeted us and went straight for me and Seran. Lady Edel went to try and stop her... and she would’ve, but I went ahead and put Lucille back to where she was. As fast as you might be, you’re not instant or covered in enough energy to stop me, lady.

Lucille managed to stop herself from crashing into a railing, while Lady Edel stopped right in front of me and Seran.

I found the headmistress glaring at me, but I went ahead and defused the situation.

“Any reason why you’re right in front of us Lady Edel? Nothing happened, right?” For these guys, it was all about saving face, so I went ahead and did my best to let them save face. Sure, it was called aristocracy and had culture and fancy words, but in the end it was a dictatorship passed down through bloodlines. The only difference between these people and the warlords that took up the rest of the world was a few laws with their people, steadier incomes, and fancier clothes. “Right?”

“…Nothing happened, I simply wished to stand here.” Lady Edel picked up on what I was trying to do and looked at her sister. “Lucille?”

Lucille was trying to bore holes through my mask, but relented with a scoff and a scowl.

“Nothing happened.” She finally agreed and gestured towards us. “Follow me. Let’s all speak about whatever harebrained proposal my sister may have in my office.”

She walked a few steps, before glaring at us again.

“Any allergies?”

Okay, these guys have a little more class than most of the warlords I’ve worked with.

…

The office room was comfy and fitted the image of an old, dainty headmistress. There were doilies on the tables, the wallpaper was floral, a grandfather clock ticked and tucked away, and there were nicknacks of various avenues on most shelves. The only thing missing was pictures of grandkids and family retreats, and it would’ve been a grandmother’s office.

“Maple cookies and pine needle jam with bread and butter, along with Orange Pekoe tea. My apologies for the lack of any savory bites.” Lucille was a good host despite the initial meeting. Thankfully, she let me and Seran sit off to the side while she sat across from her sister. If you put the two of them side-by-side, they could be twins. Was some cloning shenanigans going on? I went ahead and got the teacups and small plates for me and Seran. I got a whispered thanks, but for the most part it was Lucille and Lady Edel’s show. “Now, why are you here, Gwen?”

“An opportunity has arisen which may prevent outright from occurring, through Mayor Seran’s friend Egress.”  Name didn’t exactly fit the aesthetic, but maybe it was short for Gwendolyn or something. She sat across from her sister and the two resembled white statues dressed up like Victorian-era military officers staring at one another. The lack of movement from the two of them was throwing me a bit off, honestly. I had a feeling them being human was just skin deep. “He’s willing to transport special operations teams across the lands held by the invaders. I’m not here for your students, but rather some of your guards. A teacher, if you’re able to spare one.”

The information got Lucille to raise her eyebrow.

“I see. That’s why you’ve decided to reach out to me. It’s far better than your old plan. Quite good.” Lucille nodded slowly and leaned a little forward, looking a lot less imperious and aloof in the process. Seran almost sighed in relief as some of the tension bled away.  “The problem, however, is that we have eavesdroppers. Troublesome ones.”

Oh, here we go with the typical young adult literature bullshit.

Lucille looked at the doors and they opened, and three teenagers floated in held by the scruffs of their uniforms. What was I dealing with? Comedic relief character that’s the best friend, the smart one that’s a bit too strict, and the brave hero with strong powers. Probably, some love triangle going on, or one of the three had a love interest outside of the trio to keep things neat. Well, it could be a throuple, I guess. What’s that? They’re all girls? At this point, with all the superpowers and incredible science across the planet, assuming anything is stupid.

Probably shouldn’t anchor my expectations with teen fantasy tropes, but the fact that they’re committing to the bit is making it hard.

“Headmistress Lucille, I must join! Those bastards killed my family!” The presumed leader of the group had straight red hair, pale skin, and freckles. I couldn’t tell if she was high class or whatever. I never spent any time in a school where uniforms were a thing. That sort of stuff was hilariously beyond my tax bracket, and there weren’t many young adults running around in school uniforms while I was working. They were usually in fatigues and learning how to shoot guns. “I will be a part of this excursion. I will fight!”

She looked my way and took something out of her pocket.

“My name is Felicia Demond, last of my family, and I offer you land, titles, and a wealth in exchange for your services, mercenary!” Hot blooded shoujo protagonist is go, I suppose. Her two friends beyond her were wide-eyed, but I could see that they were mustering the courage to keep their friend safe. Lucille was pinching the bridge of her nose, while Lady Edel looked at Demond with approval in her eyes. “What say you—

“I don’t work with customers under the age of eighteen.” Was it true? No. I’ve been hired by kids before for pennies, so long as they wanted something reasonable like getting to somewhere safe. Hell, technically, Parvati probably isn’t twenty years old physically. That AI was built shortly after I locked myself in. Now that I thought about it, how the hell did all this pop up within just a couple of years? I must’ve missed more about Canada than I thought. Or, maybe, I lost track of time and so did everyone else? “Do you have a legal guardian that can speak on your behalf?”

 “Yes. She does. Myself.” Lucille stated simply, and Demond glared at her. The headmistress sighed and shook her head. “I will not be sending you off to war, young woman. Call upon your friends, and all your allies, and even parliament, but I shall not send you off to war regardless of your accomplishments.”

“The White Hand is already in our nation and they’re still growing, Headmistress! We’re already at war!” I felt like I was hearing something I shouldn’t, and by the tight faces on the Edel sisters and the shock on Seran’s face, I was sure that was the case. “If we don’t do anything, they’re going to steal us away and we’re going to be little more than livestock for them to enjoy! They’re after our bodies and minds, you know this!”

Right.

I think that the aristocrats have been keeping secrets.

Pretty big ones about what the larpers/Nazis could do, if they were implying things about bodies and minds being taken over.

While I was sure that I kept my cool, thanks to my mask, the young woman picked up on Seran’s face.

“You’re part of the Ascendancy, right? Well, you need to know that the bastards who’ve taken over the east aren’t just raiders and pillagers and conquerors.” Demond stalked over and loomed over the seated Seran. Seran practically meshed into her seat and tried to hide by trying to fall into the cushions. That’s not how chairs work, bud. “They have some sort of technology and supplier from off world that’s allowing them to take control of people and their minds. They trade people for technology and supplies.”

That information made me blink.

“Oh, the space fascists. I thought they were busy fighting the commies.” My statement suddenly got everyone’s heads snapped over to me. Before I could get barraged by questions, I went ahead and raised a hand. “Yep, I know about them, but you’re better off hearing from my contact about that. Parvati knows more about it than me.”

I reached into one of my safe houses and was about to dial Parvati… when I recalled Parvati had an emissary body with Seran’s people.

“Hey, you alright with me bringing Parvati in? It’s an AI from India working to stabilize the planet without conquering it through pure force who’s also helping build me a place on Mars.” I got a lot of blank stares at the statement. Probably because it sounded insane. I mean, without a doubt, it did. However, I thought that everyone was used to the insanity by now. Maybe, it was because I’ve been working with Parvati for more than a year now? “It’s good people and it doesn’t want the planet ruled by super scientists and the superrich fighting all over the solar system.”

The silence persisted for a good eight seconds, before Lucille slowly nodded.

“I’ll allow you to bring this Parvati here as a guest. We shall hear more about these… space fascists.”

“They probably have some organizational name, but we haven’t found that out yet. Just observing and preparing—

Lady Edel stopped me from talking by raising her hand.

“Please. We’d like to hear this in full and digest it carefully.” Lady Edel shook her head and took a cup of tea from the table in front of her and sipped it. Then, she glanced at the trio behind her near the door. “Close the door, dearies. Let’s see how far we’re really in the shit now.”

I guess I should’ve been more careful about dropping that bit of information.