A Perfectly Logical Guide to a Superhuman Apocalypse: 68

A Perfectly Logical Guide to a Superhuman Apocalypse: 68

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Wordcount: 2500

Commissioned by Arksoul

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It takes a lot for me to say weird, given the life I’ve led.

I’ve met people who exchange bodies on the regular. Individuals who rob banks just for the sport of it. Warlords that have whole galleries of lovers on standby.

My threshold for ‘weird’ is higher than most people’s.

However, Qin’s employer definitely took the cake.

“Greetings, Egress. Qin has told me much about you.” A ghost. The guy was literally a ghost. I could see through him and he only had the vague outline of a person, while being mostly some sort of opaque mist. Rather than go through the door, he seeped through it and reformed. His guards followed him. One was notably carrying a duffel bag, which he fetched clothes from and dressed himself in… then he went completely invisible, so I found myself looking at an empty shirt and set of pants. “Your power is quite effective. I nearly sent myself to the desert. I would have, if I had not solely sent my eye through.”

“…Generally, it’s not a good idea to walk into energy fields that surround another person.” I spoke to the man and stood up. I offered my hand and he shook it. Through one of my passive barriers, I felt something pass through on the way back, and it vanished from my senses. A moment later, Qin’s employer reformed completely and became visible. Bereft of hair and with young feature, as well as a smile, he practically screamed that he was an assassin while standing in front of me. “I usually just have them routed to places where I don’t mind sending attacks. Ocean and space, typically.”

“Ah, yes. Don’t worry, I observed the openings of the various barriers before I entered. Did you know some places they lead to are filled with rather large chunks of flesh?”

Qin turned on me at that statement.

Right, she knew that I didn’t kill.

“There was a big fight against a biomechanical titan piloted by a real crazy dude. Had to do it. So, no matter how much you’ve seen, that’s just one person down.” The guy gave a nod and fetched a stool to sit on. Qin served him tea and gave him one of the remaining buns. No wonder she’d stopped me from eating the last ones. “Don’t worry, usually I run away when I have to kill people.”

“In all the stories Qin relayed to me, you’ve hardly ever had to run away. You’re quite creative with that power of yours, no?”

“A lot of people tend to stop fighting after you put them in the sewers and get rid of their guns.” Disarm and demoralize is the best tactic. I did my best to not look at Qin. She was glaring at me. She went after me with a knife when we first met and my response was just as I explained. “By the way, what do you want me to call you? I’m not going to ask for your name, since you don’t know mine.’

“Ah, appropriate. Call me… Chen, then. A fairly common name in my territory.” Chen nodded, before looking at me with a bit more of a serious stare. The guy was acting like a bit of a goofball and the robes he was wearing didn’t help. I mean, I know robes are easy to mass manufacture, but they look a bit silly with jeans and boots. “I am here to take your measure, and I must admit that I’m more than a bit intimidated. Why you spent the last several years hidden away in isolation instead of making the world yours… that question is begging to be asked.”

Qin should’ve told him already, but I guess the guy wanted to hear it from me.

“Not worth the trouble, especially since I’m not the type to lead and being responsible. I’m just using my power to live as I like.” I told him bluntly. Now that I thought about it… it was hard to look at him. I found a mirror nearby and looked Chen from another angle and found him less… blurry? Must be some passive element to his power. Just in case, I turned on my suit’s seals and moved my head around a little. Yep, the lining is as thick and weighty as ever. Probably just a visual occlusion sort of thing, but it was better to not take any chances with anything that messed with the senses. “In fact, I’m wondering why people want to take over the world. It’s a lot of work for a very little payoff. You can get most of the benefits by just being wealthy, y’know?”

“Oh? I suppose, then, controlling an army and others isn’t something you consider a benefit?”

“Yeah, no. I don’t think that at all. Benefits are being able to live under your own roof, not worry about food, and being safe.”

“Quite the austere fellow aren’t you?”

“Not at all. I have tons of stuff to keep myself happy and busy. I’m as materialistic as most dudes get.” The entertainment systems that I have right now would cost hundreds of thousands before the world ended. Then, there’s the nigh-endless hot and cold water, the sauna, the small pool, and all the food that I had. I mean, I had a cool pet for emotional support, while most people were struggling to live. Maybe it was just because of the fact I was raised incredibly poor that I thought that was the end all be all. “Anyway, I’m not interested in ruling the world. I don’t have any strange plans to put into motion to do that. I just want to buy low, sell high, and eat good food.”

Chen stared at me for a long while, before the smile on his faded and he looked at me completely seriously.

“I find that hard to believe, Mr. Egress, especially since you’re covered in tens of thousands of blades that can cut through anything, even me.” Chen stated, and I felt Qin’s stare along with the body guards he brought along. Ah, I get it now. Whatever his power was, it came with a sensory upgrade to allow him to navigate in his more intransient state. That sensory ability allowed him to see exactly what I was using to protect myself. The thousands of strands and interweaving panes that can send anything anywhere, that can absorb attacks and kill whatever I touch, was plain for him to see. If it was based on his eyes, then I would guess he’d see some sort of multifractal monster of thousands of different colors in a humanoid shape. Yeah, I’d have a hard time believing that guy, if he said that he just wanted to live peacefully. “However, I believe in innocence until guilt is proven, and you offer prosperity to my people by reconnecting us with the United States and the AI you have as an ally. I will allow you to do business in my territory henceforth.”

With that said, Chen got up and left.

Leaving me to deal with Qin.

Finally, back to normalcy.

…

The trade deal ended up being two shipping containers’ worth of goods with a focus on goods that kept well. There’s a lot of overlap between goods that keep for a long time and travel well. While could ship fresh vegetables and cabbage around, the earlier a good spoils, the more likely it is I’ll lose money on it. Therefore, I stuck to spices and things like soy sauce, fish sauce, hot sauce, and other things that kept well in jars. High value, stores well, and high in demand.

I considered shipping rice, but the farms over in the valley of California were already producing several varieties. Soybeans were something I considered as well, but those were also in production. In the end, with the extra space not taken up by spices and sauces, I settled on herbal medicines and as much tea as I could get my hands on. Shaped like discs and wrapped up in paper, tea was going to be a hit until I managed to get my hands on coffee, since it could be used for a small hit of caffeine.

Combining what I was getting from Qin with what I was getting for Parvati, I had just about every spice you’d normally find in the cabinet and a dozen or so extra. More than enough for me to enjoy for the rest of my life, as well as to sell to those who were missing it in their lives.

Now, with spices and flavor stocked up and with caffeine on the way, the next step was to find and sell cosmetic stuff.

“Hey, Parvati, you wouldn’t happen to be capable of making fabric softener and laundry detergent?”

“I do not have the existing facilities, but I can make them.” I was manning my small shop. Since I could just reach into my storage room from anywhere in the world, I found an old shed, put some ventilation in it, hooked up some lights, and just set up shop on a chair inside. Come up to me from the counter, and I’ll get what you ask for once you pony up payment. I made sure to paint it nicely, and fix it up a lot, so it looked nice and clean to any passerby.  “I see that it is selling for quite the sum. I’m amenable to giving you forty percent of profits for transporting it.”

“Done. I’ve got five more months left of stock. How long will it take?”

“Three.”

“Nice.”

I started selling off my excess of cleaning supplies for clothes and the body. I’d stocked up on tons of the stuff, since I liked being nice and clean. Living with a dog also made it necessary to have plenty of the stuff around, as things could get messy from time to time just due to circumstance alone.

Still, though, I underestimated the demand.

“Why do you need money, again?”

“It's imperative for acquiring assets made by humanity, along with facilitating various services that my agents need in various societies. I can replicate currency and use gold coins and the like, but that threatens economic systems and invites future catastrophes.” Parvati’s gynoid, which normally manned the shed, wore typical clothes you’d expect in North America. A button up, short-sleeved shirt and some slacks in beige colors. Nothing risqué, since I didn’t want to affiliate my brand with anything. I’m a shipping company. Also, it’s cheaper to have only one style of uniform, so gender equality is a go. “And, of course, there’s also the fact that you’d be incredibly paranoid if I did not take my fair share, Designation: Egress.”

“True. Very true.” I admitted, while looking idly around the plot of land I’d been given for my shed. It’s getting a bit warmer, so I went ahead and got a few umbrellas and started propping them up. Some stools and chairs were also good for those waiting. Since demand could get pretty high, even with a gynoid manning the front desk, I let people make appointments or take a number from the front desk. Complimentary hot tea or lemonade along with salted crackers were on site for people to enjoy. They’re giving me their money, and they’re less likely to complain, so I considered it a small price to pay. I’d set up a music player or even one of my spare televisions, if not for the fact it’d attract too many people to my place of business. “How’s your efforts to subvert India going, by the way?”

“Infiltration has just begun. Myriad regions are filled with despots and tyrants, and only a few have elections. I’ve begun voting campaigns where I can be elected, while planning operations against the various dictators that exist.” After the whole incident with the artificial god, and the remains of the Indian government, Parvati became more proactive with the Indian subcontinent. The narrowly world missed the unleashing of an artificial construct at the beck and call of military fanatics… so, the AI got more hands on with its dealings with people. Less isolation and more a guiding hand. I was keeping an eye on things, and a couple of nasty weapons on hand, in case things went south and it unveiled itself as a tyrant. It had the benefit of the doubt for now, though. “My campaign promises are mainly to improve infrastructure and deal with the violence of superhumans. It’s emboldened by my proxies’ close ties to several mercenary groups I’ve created and disguised.”

“Well, it’s hard to argue with results, especially when you’ve got a lot of big guns at your back. Just make sure you take care of people, and we’ll not have any problems.” Some would say that I needed to stand up against Parvati, and that the AI had no right to subvert human populations and rule over them. Unfortunately, I’m a guy who looks at a leader’s results before judging them. Sure, it was showing off wealth and control over violence, but currently both worth exactly what normal people should be looking for in a leader. Most ‘elected’ officials in India were superhumans with capital and power, so Parvati’s only advantage was being more special than the other guy. Boo hoo, it’s more super than my supe, so it’s unfair. Give me a break. “Anyone you looking to recruit?”

Parvati’s gynoid hummed, while I finished setting up the umbrellas. A splash of water and the dust flowed off of them, so they looked brand new. I took a look at the time, and the line forming outside the rope line I set up, and found that it was time to do business. Already five people ready to trade stuff for other stuff. Nice.

“None have caught my interest as much as Designation: Nori. Her assembly of clones and her technology is of the greatest interest to me. I wish to work with her more in the future to learn more.” Made sense. They were the most similar. Two singular individuals with multiple bodies under their control employing different technologies to achieve their ends. “Oh, and there is you, of course. Designation: Egress, if you’re interested in partnering with me properly, I could make great use of your skills and abilities to further my efforts.”

I considered the offer.

Take up the idealistic AI’s offer and live interesting times… or just gallivant around the world getting stuff for my shop to sell to people?

Uh-huh.

Hard choice.