A Perfectly Logical Guide to a Superhuman Apocalypse: 63

A Perfectly Logical Guide to a Superhuman Apocalypse: 63

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Wordcount: 2500

Commissioned by Arksoul

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“So, are either of you willing to go to couples counseling?”

Qin choked on her drink, while Clancy spat his out.

“Perfect, the two of you complete each other.”

“Egress!?”

“What the hell?”

“Your kid asked me to get you together. I thought about just talking to the two of you one on one… then I realized that this is a relationship between two people.” After speaking with the kid, I put some thought into my promise. Thoughts that weren’t altered heavily by a kid giving me puppy eyes. Thus, I arrived at a simple solution: there’s no fucking away I can convince these two to get along if I approached them separately. “I know you both enough that you’d tell me to fuck off, if I tried it with just one of you.”

“And, you think we won’t tell you to mind your own business with both of us here?” Clancy didn’t curse, but he sure as heck looked close to cursing. He looked around and scowled. Don’t worry, my guy, I plucked us out of the party for a bit. “What the hell is wrong with you, man?”

“Nothing is wrong with him. He’s acting on instinct, because he has no clue what to do.” Qin finished clearing her throat and glared at me. She glanced around and sighed. Yep, we’re back to the island I brought you to. It’s night now, since it’s so far from the Midwest. Hm, this place is a write-off now, since Qin’s gotten a good view at the night sky. This place can be triangulated with ease with some basic astronomy and some drones. “I see that my daughter managed to convince you to talk on her behalf.”

“Consider it payment for all the birthdays I missed. I mean, I wasn’t invited to any birthday parties, but I would’ve been if you knew where I was. You wouldn’t have left a contact me out of the party list, right?”

Qin grudgingly nodded.

I knew her well.

“Look, Egress, I see what you’re doing. I appreciate it. But what’s between me and Qin is different from what’s between both of us and Bao.” Clancy argued, and Qin nodded some more at his words. He’d been trying to convince me to get me to help him convince Qin earlier. I guess their talks about their situation hadn’t gone well. I wasn’t about to throw him under the bus, though. Pointing that fact out would just fuck things up. And, I didn’t mind being the jerk, anyway. “We’ve been talking about it. It’ll be best if she gets some time over at my place, since it’s safer, but she’ll learn more and become better with Qin.”

“Indeed, I have no intention of finding a partner at this moment. I am a busy woman. Raising Bao and attending to my organization’s needs is all I can do now.” Qin shook her head and crossed her arms. She helped herself to some of the food on the table that I brought along for the ride. She was helping herself to a lot of fresh and grilled vegetables, since she’d just spent a couple months at sea. “Staying here with Clancy would make it difficult to manage my work. There is much to be done in China now. My forces are strong and envied by many others across the land.”

“Go get an uplink running with Parvati. Work from safety over here a few days of the week. That’ll halve the time people must assassinate you.” With Qin, arguments had to be logical and sound. Things that’ll benefit her wellbeing and whatever her goals were, basically. She can be hard-headed, but she thinks things like this through to see how it’ll benefit it. Qin isn’t the type of person to let herself pass on a good deal out of pride. “And, your kid’ll be a lot less likely to run away again. Bao’s a smart cookie. She’s figured it out once, she’ll figure it out again, and next time I’m sure she’ll have something on hand to outbid you when you call on me.”

A grimace formed on Qin’s face.

“Bao has found her father and I’ve facilitated time for her here already. There’s no reason for her to go anywhere else.”

“Right, and when you were a teenager with superpowers, you didn’t decide to get out of your home and grab your own destiny. Face it, Qin, Bao takes after both you and Clancy and the two of you aren’t exactly the type to back down and do what you’re told.” This time, Qin’s grimace was far stronger, but I also knew that pressing her on it would just cause her to snap at me. I’ve worked with her long enough to know when to back off, so that she could think things through rather than be annoyed. Yep, it was time to turn to Clancy. “And, as for you… you’ve told me yourself that you want to spend actual time with your kid and have a family. Trust me, having one parent isn’t having a family, man.”

With that said, and my throat choking up more than I cared to admit at the words, I put my hand on the table and brought the three of us back to the party.

Barely anyone noticed we were gone.

And, naturally, I made to exit quickly after I said my piece.

That’s enough effort for a request I’m doing pro-bono.

Bao, it’s up to you to take the bases after I’ve hit that all the way to the outfield.

…

“It’s not like you to interfere with relationships with others.”

“I make exceptions for people I’ve trusted with my life.” Maelstrom took a seat next to me. The party was waning down with the sun setting, but a light dinner was being served. I’d gone ahead and gotten the okay from Maelstrom, so we got some beef over for the dinner. I pulled out some packets of dried ranch seasoning and now everyone was enjoying some fresh, grilled vegetables, flat bread, and grilled meat with ranch dressing. All it was missing was some highly-processed cheese. We already had some soda thanks to the fact the bottling factory was already up and running fine back home. “Besides, it solves a problem that might rise up in the future. Bao doing something crazy while having enough money to pay me off.”

“That would make our contact with Qin’s people problematic, if it occurred.” I had trade rights with Qin’s people, but it didn’t take much for Qin to offer it to Maelstrom. I preferred to exchange services for services, keeping everything above board, since I didn’t want anything to get complicated. Maelstrom was strong enough that she could accept gifts and offerings without issue. So, naturally, Maelstrom could make orders from Qin’s people now, and I’ll be raking in the cash since I’m the only one who can transport things efficiently. Man, my power is great. “However, that was secondary in your mind, was it not?”

“Alright, you got me. I wanted to give the kid a fighting chance at having a family. Who knows, it might help her think straight with the world we’re living in.” I conceded the point. It was a bit embarrassing, but I’m doing the right thing for the right reasons. I should hold my head high about this in fact. I’ve just spent an hour or so of my own time trying to convince two people to try and raise their kid together. “Think about it. One less addled, easily-manipulated youth running loose because she got raised by two decent people.”

“You turned out fine, did you not.”

“… I don’t recall telling you about how I was raised.”

“You’ve made many comments in the past regarding me being lucky to have two parents. It’s an assumption.”

I looked at Maelstrom for a bit, looking for lies of omission, but I didn’t find any.
Besides, the first big purchase I’d made was a new identity and as much of my old one obliterated from existence. My old man being a massive asshole with no friends and relatives worked out for me, too. After he passed away from one of his benders on the dole, there was no one out there looking for the old me.

Anyway, even if Maelstrom knew that about me, there wasn’t really much for me to lose.

What was she going to do?

Bring up the fact that my father was a piece of shit and make me lose focus in the middle of a fight?

I’d probably fight harder, if someone decided to bring him up.

Anyway, I dropped that line of thought.

“Look, I’m an outlier. Most people without parents are pretty fucked up one way or another. No stability in home life, bullied at school or by their peers, and just generally untrusting.” I’d read up on that sort of thing, but also saw plenty of it first hand. Kids plucked out of their stable families turned to all sorts of shit to get through with life. Child soldiers went towards vices that their warlords gave them, for example. Lots more turned to crime or joined criminal organizations. “That’s a lot of stuff to work through to be normal. I shelled out a lot to work through my problems with a therapist. Those guys aren’t exactly ready to be hired now.”

The apocalypse kinda gutted the mental health industry.

Hard to help people through their mental issues when putting food you’ve grown yourself on the table’s a greater priority.

“I see. You make a good point. You are an outlier… though I must say, having a stable family doesn’t make the chance of turning to illegal actions zero. All that you’re doing now, even if it all succeeds, doesn’t guarantee that Bao will be a good person.”

“I know that, but it still increases the odds. It’s the difference between a fifty-fifty chance of being good or bad and a ninety percent chance of being a piece of shit or decent.” I went to school and paid attention to my classes. I mean, primarily, it was so that I could manage my business better, but still… I was paying good money, so I was getting my education. Sure, I’m pulling numbers out of my ass, by the core information from classes stuck. Poor conditions meant poor outcomes. People rising out of poverty to become millionaires are statistical outliers. If you start fucked, you end up fucked. “Look, it’s worth the effort, right? It took an hour and maybe a couple minutes here and there, but it gives the kid a decent chance. What’s wrong with that?”

Maelstrom was quiet for a little before smiling and shaking her head.

“Nothing at all. In fact, I approve. So, I was wondering if you’re feeling sick or ill, Egress. This is unlike you.”

At that assertion, I just rolled my eyes and ignored her teasing.

And, of course, I changed the subject.

“I’ve talked to Qin about what she’s got on offer for trade. I’m thinking about setting up something with Japan. Are you going to do something?” I moved onto to better conversation topics, like using our new trade lanes to make obscene amounts of money/get what we want. “If you’re going to sell them one thing, I’ll get something else. Let’s stay off each other’s toes and all that.”

Maelstrom shook her head at my statement, but she knew me well enough to know I wasn’t going back to the old conversation.

“I’ll focus on staple foodstuffs, while you ply your trade with spices and seasonings.”

“Sounds good!”

Whatever happens next with Clancy, Qin, and Bao will be up to them.

…

After the party, Qin walked up to me with a cigarette in hand and without her suit’s jacket.

A glance over her shoulder confirmed it was draped over Clancy.

“So, you’re giving him a chance?”

“He told me he won’t mind me having my fun, as he does.”

Oof, rough break for Clancy, but I nodded.

“Sounds fair. He’s making use of his reputation and you should, too.”

“I’m glad that you think that way, Egress.” She offered me a cigarette and I passed. I’m not sure what comes after all this, especially with supernatural powers coming into play. So, I was banking on living as long as I could. Drinking alcohol and smoking was fun, and I’d indulged once or twice, but it wasn’t a habit for me back when both were plentiful. Now that both are crazy expensive? Yeah, no. I’ll sell them happily, though. “What about you, then? When will you give Maelstrom a child?”

First Clancy and now Qin.

Honestly, I had no clue why people were pairing me up with her.

“We’re not together.”

Qin scoffed, put out her cigarette, and started another.

“I suppose you’ve plenty of time. She hasn’t aged a day, and I doubt you have either. Your voice is the same timbre as I recall.” Qin had good senses. Or, rather, I should say that her senses were bullshit and befitting someone with greatly enhanced speed. It was a supplement to her incredible strength, durability, and speed. Her senses scaled enough so that she could use her real advantages to their fullest extent. “Just so you know, I’ve met others with as much power as you and Maelstrom. Practically speaking, unless you’re killed or become sick, you’ll be lasting a long time.”

“…thanks for telling me.” Her words just confirmed my suspicions. I’m close to thirty now, and I’ve been maintaining a good diet, staying out of the sun, and exercising, but all of that didn’t explain why I barely looked twenty. “I’ll stock up my bunker’s supplies with my life expectancy in mind.”

“A bunker’s not enough. You’re behind, Egress. There’s a reason why I’ve started my organization and Clancy built his little kingdom. You need something long-term to keep you sane, or you’re going to just keep watching everything crumble around you.” Qin shook her head and took a long drag from her cigarette. The long pull sent the ember line from the end of the stick to the filter in one go. She didn’t even cough after taking that long pull. “You’re a rotten bastard to the core, but you don’t deserve to go crazy from the perpetuity we’ve been given. Keep that in mind for the coming days, or I’ll drag you out of your bunker and force you to do something to keep yourself sane.”

“Noted. Thanks, Qin.”

She gave a grunt and walked away, lighting another cigarette as she left.

She’s not the type to say thank you.