A Perfectly Logical Guide to a Superhuman Apocalypse: 61

A Perfectly Logical Guide to a Superhuman Apocalypse: 61

…

Wordcount: 2500

Commissioned by Arksoul

…

Qin, Bao, and Clancy all sat around a table together, talking to each other in clipped tones, while I dealt with more important matters.

“I’m telling you, Walker, the cheese here is better than what we’ve got. I don’t know how or why, but it just is.” I haven’t had the pleasure of having melty, soft cheese for a while. Cheeses that I had in my bunker were in a climate-controlled room and of the hard variety. Big wheels that I recoat in wax as needed after getting what I wanted. It was good. Very good, but you couldn’t make nice, melty cheese dishes out of it. “Look, try it.”

“I will eat later, Egress.” Walker snorted in amusement and crossed her arms. She’d flow over here while I retrieved Bao. Everyone was back on site. Well, not everyone, technically. Parvati had its body over there stay to monitor the situation. Good choice on the AI’s front, since Clancy had been eyeing it up a fair bit. That would make the family get-together going on a lot more complicated. “So, I suppose that the child was not as strong as you feared?”

“She’s plenty strong, but she’s got a good head between her shoulders. Didn’t kill anyone, stopped struggling after just a few minutes getting juggled in the air, and tried to cut a deal with me. Smart and willing to talk, basically.” Walker listened with crossed arms. She was sat in front of me and had a clear view of the family gathering. She just looked as out of place as I did surrounded by all the gardens and crops and makeshift tables and chairs from crates. Granted, it was because she was in a crisp, full suit while I was ready to for a fight, but we stuck out like sore thumbs anyway. “Thinking about offering her a place over in California to get some freedom from her mother, huh?”

“How did you know?” Walker raised an eyebrow at my direction.

“Seems like the way you’d do thinks to try and make everyone happy.” Obviously, Bao made her father as an excuse to leave her mother’s protection. Meanwhile, Qin didn’t to be as frantic chasing the girl as she had been. Her willingness to pay for my help had made me think Bao would be dangerous. Instead, the girl had tried to negotiate with me and hadn’t harmed anyone going through Anderson’s lands. Both parties were clashing… so Maelstrom wanted to walk in and offer a compromise. “And, you’ve got things that I want, so you can buy my services with ease. Qin will probably want to pay half, though.”

Maelstrom shook her head after a moment and focused her gaze on me.

“I want to prevent any conflict between our new nation and anyone else. I want allies. Not rivals or foes.”

“Makes sense, but shouldn’t you work on getting from sea to shining sea first?”

“The American Revolution was not won by the thirteen colonies alone, Egress.”

“Right, we had help from the French… but they were working with a blank board, then. That’s allowed.” I shrugged and helped myself to some more tangy, crispy, and delicious fresh salad with ripe tomatoes, before taking another bite of grilled cheese. Some people would scoff at having salad with a treat. I only know that I like the contrast between melty, warm, toasty, and creamy against sharp, vibrant, crispy, and fresh. In other words, develop an actual palate instead of just shoveling food down your mouths. “Now, you want to remake something that once was. That’s still fresh in everyone’s minds. It’s less creating America again and more… reuniting the Roman Empire?”

Maelstrom crossed her arms at my statement, but said nothing, and I took that as a cue to explain myself.

“America was great. Too great. Everyone only remembers the good parts. The last hyperpower that remained standing until the Apocalypse came, mostly because of your personal efforts.” Maelstrom grudgingly nodded at that. America wouldn’t have gotten far without her. Lots of people lived from paycheck to paycheck and lots of those people developed powers they could use to upturn social order and take what they needed. If Maelstrom hadn’t stepped in, the states would’ve broken up. Not because of politics or anything like that. Just the strain of a society being unable to police and keep people from breaking laws, just like everyone else. Too many people struggling too hard with no options and a lot of ability to inflict violence. “Whatever you’re planning is going to look more like an alliance of everyone that pops up. You can bind everyone together through trade and mutual defense, but in the end… I think we’ll be a lot more separate than we used to be. It’ll be for the best, too. I think.”

“You don’t believe than a central government can be made to stretch over all the US?” Maelstrom asked. It was a loaded question. She pretty much implied that she wanted that. However, she hasn’t gone out and started waging war to reconquer all of the US with a star-spangled banner at her back and eagles screeching. I mean, she could do it. No one could really stop her if she wanted to. I mean, I could try, but she’ll just hold my stuff hostage and make my life hell. I’m not willing to put my comfortable living on the line for a bunch of strangers who don’t give a shit about me.

“That’s an old method that worked with old humanity. You can’t be everyone instilling rules and laws everywhere, Maelstrom. People will rise. Strong people or just too many for you to handle all at once.” We’ve both seen it all over the world. Nations crumbling because institutions weren’t made with superhumans in mind. Too many nations relying on monopolies over violence to keep their populations in check, and once that monopoly ended things just went out of control. “States are the way to go. Small countries working together. Maybe, we’ll go back to the old way of monarchies, just with some senates or parliaments or something along those lines. Whatever nation pops up now will have to be backed by a lot of firepower no matter how you slice it.”

I tilted my head over my shoulder at Qin, Clancy, and Bao.

Maelstrom’s eyes had hardened, but they softened a bit.

The trio were getting along well.

“…Not every monarchy that arises will be good, Egress. Once things are established there will be infighting, bad blood, rivalries, and deaths.” Maelstrom stated, and I nodded. That much was true. Human nature and all that was plain and simple. There’s no way things were just going to go smoothly. There’ll be competition, coups, and whole slews of bullshit. “There must be some way to do things without relying on customs that take the freedoms of people away. Can you honestly stand the thought multiple monarchies taking hold over this continent, Egress? Can you abide by your children being ruled by a monarch who holds more liberties and rights than they will ever have?”

Thankfully, before Maelstrom asked that question, I finished my meal already.

Because just thinking about it made the rest of my appetite go away, while a bitter sensation permeated through my mouth.

“Yeah, no. That doesn’t sound good at all.” I hated to admit it, but some part of me was patriotic like that. No. It didn’t have anything to do with being American. Yeah, I just didn’t like the thought of living under a king or a ruler like one. The Shogun had done horrible things. I’d seen petty kings over in Africa do really shitty stuff, too. Even if I didn’t have kids, I didn’t like the thought of the States being overrun by petty kings styling themselves as deities for being born with powers. “Looks like we’re going to have to think of something better.”

Maelstrom nodded at my words, and we refocused on what was happening on the other table.

The little family get-together devolved into a shouting match while we were talking.

…

“It was going so well, at first, Egress. I didn’t know what went wrong.” Clancy bemoaned. We’d split the party up before things could get any worse. I took Clancy over to the same island I brought Qin to and fetched some soda from my bunker. He took them and popped the caps off with his thumb. After a swig of carbonated goodness, he nodded in thanks before slumping again. “I think it was my fault. I should’ve backed up Bao when she told me she wanted to stay.”

“You should’ve. It’s not like you’re out to stay in Qin’s good graces. You’re already after Parvati.”

“Hm? Parvati? No. That’s just a fling. Something to get into good relations with me and my people. You know?” No, Clancy, I don’t know. I don’t treat sex like a pass time. I’m way too sensitive for that sort of thing. I may have a tough, abrasive, and cold shell, but that’s all to protect the mushy, warm insides. Opening up to other people is just a good way to get hurt. “I want Qin to be happy, too.”

Wouldn’t she be happy if you weren’t playing around with your personal kingdom and fucking AI-piloted gynoid bodies on the slide?

Well, Qin was into women the last time I checked, so maybe she’d be into that, too?

I dunno.

“Can’t help you with that. I’ve got no luck keeping anyone happy. Content and satisfied with my work is the best I can do, personally.” I shrugged and helped myself to some more cola. Since all the artificial stuff was basically no longer in play, it was all extracts from plants and stuff with real sugar and carbonation. Honestly, I thought it was better than old cola, though it needed to be near-frozen to reach that level. Thankfully, I had the fridges necessary to do just that. “Hey, you can just sell Qin a trade deal or something. That way you can visit Qin and your daughter for a few days, then come back to your home.”

“I just met Bao, Egress. She’s bright, amazing, and she wants to spend time with me. You really think that a few days every couple weeks is enough, especially when I wasn’t part of her life?” Clancy played the father card earlier than I expected. Wasn’t my problem, though. I made that clear by just staring at him from the corner of my eye. Dude, I’m not here to solve your problems. You’re supposed to solve them yourself. “I want to be part of her life now, especially since it seems she’s growing too fast. I… I don’t even know if she’s going to live that long, especially if she’s over there.”

Should’ve thought of that before you had a kid with Qin.

That’s what I wanted to say, but as much as an asshole I am… I’m not a fucking psychopath.

“Qin will probably listen if you go with that route, but she cares for her kid. This is the first time she’s ever paid me without haggling and given me assurances on top of it.” Qin would swindle anyone without a second thought. It doesn’t count as cheating if you’re doing it to un-blood related individuals. As far as she’s concerned, if she’s not cheating, she’s not giving it her all. And, she’s the type of person to give 100% to everything. “Don’t argue on your behalf. Argue on your kid’s behalf. Tell Qin she’ll be safer over here. And, if you can guarantee that, then she’ll probably just let the kid stick around for half the year or something.”

Clancy nodded at my advice.

He listens to advice all the time, and he can make sense of what’s good and bad advice, so he’s better off than most of humanity in that regard.

“Qin will only let it happen if you’re on standby to get her to safety, whether it’s in China or back where I live. Egress, can you do that for me?”

“Depends on the offer. You’re asking for a lot, just so you know.”

Clancy grimaced for a moment, before nodding.

“You know I’m no good at negotiating. All I can do is say no… so you make offers until I can find something I can agree with. You know that I’m good at paying my debts.”

I thought about the offer for a bit, before coming up with exactly what I wanted.

“Ally with Maelstrom and help her pacify the United States.”

“I knew you had it bad, but I didn’t think it was this bad.”

“Shut up. She’s got the best form of governance so far. You’ve got a monarchy, Anderson’s got a religious state, and Maelstrom’s got a half-decent republic going.” I shook my head, while Clancy bobbed his head side to side consideringly at my words. I’m being serious here, my guy. “You want me to be your daughter’s personal, on-call emergency driver? Ally with Maelstrom, join up your economies, and stop being a king. We both know you don’t like it, anyway.”

Clancy was quiet for a second, before speaking with a more careful tone.

“I don’t know if I can do that, Egress. I’ve gotta take responsibility for the people. They’ve invested in me. They want me to protect them. It’s not just me taking advantage of them.”

“I get that. Just be their senator, mayor, or whatever for life. I don’t care about the little details. I want security and assurances.” I shook my head at Clancy concerns and his brow furrowed for a moment, before he ended up nodding in understanding. “Look, things aren’t going to stay quiet. The outside world is louder than you think. Old grudges are still there. Hell, there are a lot of new grudges picking up. The only way things go well for us is everyone else on the planet sees what replaces the United States is something that really, truly crack down on anything that looks funny in its direction.”

“…That why you’re cozying up to an AI, Maelstrom, and making friends in faraway places?” Clancy asked after a moment, and I nodded. “You want me and my people in your corner, so that you can get help cracking skulls when trouble comes knocking?”

“Exactly.” I nodded and looked out to the sea. I felt a bit poignant and pointed out towards where the nearest landmass was. “Out there? Right now? There’s a lot of fucked up shit. If we don’t work together, we’re all going to die, or go back to a time when we’re all living underground in bunkers.”

I looked Clancy straight in the eye.

“I’m betting on the girl who can punch through the moon and not get winded. How about you?”