A Perfectly Logical Guide to a Superhuman Apocalypse: 55

A Perfectly Logical Guide to a Superhuman Apocalypse: 55

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Wordcount: 2500

Commissioned by Arksoul

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“I preferred you depressed and traumatized.”

“Sorry, can’t hear you over my bill counter. What’d you say?” I set up a stall just a few steps away from Walker’s house. Nothing more than a shipping container that I stripped the paint and rust off of, before making a service window and some ventilation in. After that, with a few solar panels, my store was good to go. My shelves were filled with laundry detergent, real soap, and toothpaste. All things that I bought tons of with the intention of trading, which I’d written off when I learned more civilization survived than I thought… until Walker pointed out that what was currently produced still wasn’t good enough. Yeah, I’m making cash. “What do you want, Parvati?”

Parvati decided to visit after the situation in Japan was settled. I decided against being involved there beyond transporting supplies and getting Walker to talks. Parvati had a lot on its plate, with all the people it needed to fix up because of the Shogun, and after that it also had to deal with technology exchanges. The AI had a real hunger for new tech and the Japanese had a lot.

Anyway, this gynoid body wasn’t overly sexualized. Its hair was shoulder-length, it wore a t-shirt and jeans that weren’t skintight, and overall just looked like a casually-dressed young woman with black hair and tanned skin. Obviously, some guy would find this gynoid form his fetish, but everything falls into someone’s fetish somewhere. I just appreciated the fact that Parvati wasn’t blatantly trying to score points against me just because I’m attracted to women.

“I am here to negotiate more supplies and relocation for the various Japanese prisoners we’ve taken. We’ve returned all those who wish to return and can return. All that remain are those who previously fought for the Shogun and are not to be incarcerated by the new government.” Ah, I figured that this was going to happen. It’s been a few weeks since the battle began, and my vacation got co-opted by the opportunity to start my own little store. Parvati and Walker were pretty busy with things over there, but I didn’t pay it much attention. Japanese government was retaking everything, life was getting better, and food was getting shipped in while reconstruction efforts were at play. In twenty years or so, we’ll see the real fruits of our labor, but for now there wasn’t much reason for me to pay attention there. “Do you know of any location where that’d be appropriate, Designation: Egress?”

“Here, probably. Walker’s strong and fast enough to put them down with hurting them and apparently, they have a jail, too.” I’d spent a bit more time with Walker’s community since coming up. Her territory is mostly just California. Most of the metropolitan areas were ghost towns to salvage from, like Los Angeles and San Diego. Not enough arable land to grow things in and there wasn’t enough of a transport network online yet to make cities viable. “Set up a town for them, make them work, and give them representation on the council. Things will sort themselves out. Probably.”

“A good suggestion, but—

“Parvati. Egress. It’s good to see you both.” Walker didn’t usually interrupt conversations, so I looked her way. She’d changed up her style to a vest, long-sleeves, and pants with her usual jacket and half-cape thing nowhere to be found. Also, her hair was tied up. I was getting a bad vibe. Might just be the fact it’s a bit warmer today. Might be the fact that she needs to kick ass instead of rocking her usual look. “I need your assistance. I’ve been contacted by Qin from the Caribbean.”

That threw me for a loop.

“How?”

“Anderson made contact with her to establish diplomatic ties before any accidents occur. They heard of me through her. They aren’t in the Caribbean with a trade field. They’re searching for her daughter.”

“Daughter? But Qin’s not into men.”

That earned me an eyebrow from both Parvati and Walker.

“Uh. No. I didn’t make a move and get shot down. She literally blows her checks on hostess clubs to wind down and gets dumped every other week.” Even Chinese warlords with extreme skill and talent can have terrible game. You’d think Qin would have an easier time since she’s pretty and things got more open-minded before everything went to shit, but outside of operations or combat she just can’t talk. So, I can’t imagine her having a kid. “I’ve seen it. She got shot down a dozen times over when I worked with her. Absolutely 0 game. Shit sense of style, too.”

Walker shook her head at my statement, but I stood by them.

I know what I’ve seen with my two eyes.

Qin’s head over heels for pretty ladies and absolutely horrible at staying with them.

“Perhaps, there’s more information to clarify on the matter, but the fact remains that is why Qin is here. They pursued her daughter from China through most of the former trade routes in Europe, even going through the Suez, until they reached Cuba.” Guess that answered why they didn’t go through the Pacific, despite all the things unleashed in the seas between all the countries there. “The problem lies with the powers of Qin’s daughter. She has incredible strength, endurance, durability, and is highly intelligent. Most of her trip was done with the use of vessels she scavenged together and piloted herself.”

On the surface that power set wasn’t something write home about, but this is according to Walker.

If she says someone is strong, enduring, durable, and smart, I want nothing to do with that person.

“Tough enough to put the hurt on you?” I asked.

Thankfully, Maelstrom shook her head.

“Not without equipment designed to bridge the gap. With her powers alone, she won’t be able to take me on… but then there’s the reason why Feng is here.” Kaede’s eyes settled on me, and I felt a chill go down my spine. That’s a pretty cold gaze you’ve got there, Maelstrom. “She’s searching for her father, and apparently you know him, thus she’s searching for you.”

Oh, man.

I was about to say that—

“Fret not, Designation: Egress. With your paranoia, we both know that you’d never risk having a child with a foreign actor such as Qin.”

“More like not have a kid with the world going to shit. I’d like to think I’m responsible.” I snorted and shook my head. Walker got a little less serious for a second and nodded, but looked at me pointedly. So, I went ahead and tried to piece together who the ‘father’ might be for Qin’s hyper-capable superhuman spawn. A name popped up and I had to think about it for a second. “Did Qin give you a description of her daughter? What’s the kid look like?

No fucking way that absolute simp managed to pull it off—

“Tall. Half-European. Black hair and—

I stopped Kaede before my brain cells died.

I knew the guy.

“I’ll look for the guy and drag him over here if he’s still alive. Parvati, watch the store and don’t give any discounts. Walker… just hang tight for some supreme stupidity.”

“Will do.”

“This storefront will be managed properly, Designation: Egress. What is my compensation?”

“Cut off the profits you make on your shift. See ya.”

I popped over to my bunker to get dressed and ready.

For what?

To give Clancy a piece of my mind… and maybe give a nice bottle of booze before handing him off to Qin so that I can see the fireworks.

This shit’s going to be funny and none of it’s my fault, so it’ll be even funnier.

…

There exists idiots out there that give the locations of the safehouses to other people.

Hell, there exists idiots that have their whole safehouse built by companies that don’t have their employees memory-wiped to keep themselves safe.

I lucked out and had a power that let’s me teleport my safehouse anywhere I want, but I expect other people to at least go that far to keep their location secure.

Anyway, Clancy bought his safehouse off a website, used her personal bank account to do it, and gave the address to me and a bunch of his other ‘bros.’

You might have a question as to how the idiot is still alive.

The answer is that Clancy can afford to be an idiot, while most people can’t.

The idiot even has a camera mounted on the front of the gate of his doomsday bunker complex.

I hit the fucking call button for the apocalypse shelter and waited.

“Who’s there. Identify yourself! How did you get past the perimeter sensors and minefield!?” Alright, I guess there’s layers of defenses around this place. More than I honestly expected for Clancy and his… small colony of survivors. That’s a literal guard armed with a high-power assault rifle. No. That’s an actual military rifle meant to put down superhumans. The hell is going on? “State your name or you will be fired upon.”

“Name’s Egress. I’m probably on Clancy’s guest list.” That got the guard to be taken aback for a second and he radio’d in the information. I kept waiting outside the massive doors. They looked pretty big and so did the concrete walls that surrounded the complex. Kinda pointless with how many people can just punch straight through steel and concrete, but I guess it’ll work against normal people. “Yeah, I’ll just wait here.”

“Y-yeah, stay right there—wait, did you say Egress!?” Mr. Security Guard peered up over his scope and looked at me. He also stopped flagging me with the barrel end of his weapon. The fact he had his finger off the trigger was the only reason I didn’t attack. “One of Mayor Clancy’s friends!?”

Oh, great.

The idiot turned his doomsday complex into an underground town where he’s the mayor.

This guy’s really breaking every cardinal rule of prepping, huh?

“I guess?” I didn’t want to be right, but it looked like I was. The gate started to open and I found myself looking into… a lot of raised farm beds being tended to by ordinary-looking people, several solar panels, and a few greenhouses. The main bunker entrance, a former nuclear missile launch site, was in the center. None of these were in the brochure, so I guess that the Clancy and everyone else decided to take in refugees and employed them. Better than dying, I guess. “It’s been a while, so he might not remember me—

I cut myself off as I saw a hulking mass diving my way.

I reappeared a meter or se left to where I was and Clancy all but skidded off the dirt road that led into the compound.

When he raised his face, he didn’t even have a scratch, or look the slightest bit hurt.

“Egress! You’re finally here! I was worried sick about you!” He got up and tried in vain to give me a slap on the back. He was a tall and lanky guy. He couldn’t build muscle through normal exercise, since he had strength to spare. Some would say he’s got a sleeper build. “Where have you been, I told you to come over the minute you think things were going wrong!”

“And, I told you that I have my own shelter. Hell, I have multiple shelters.” I raised an eyebrow and looked him up and down. Despite being a mayor, he was wearing faded overalls, a ratty shirt, gloves, and boots, like all the other farmers. “Aren’t you supposed to be the mayor?”

“Yeah, sure, but being behind a desk all day is boring. I feel better helping out and moving.” Clancy had a big grin splitting his face. His moves got attention from everyone else and they looked our way. I was tempted to just leave with all the attention. Here I am all dressed up for camouflage in the great plains, yet everyone else is wearing normal clothes. I feel kinda like an idiot, to be honest. “Hm, well, you can tell me why you’ve come over after dinner! We’ve got plenty of chicken, especially if you don’t mind them smoked!”

He threw his thumb of his shoulder and I caught sight of a large pen with loads of chickens prancing about. There were tubs nearby that I presumed were some sort of composter that bred insect feed for them, which fed off of scraps. Guess these guys need a lot of food for a lot of people. Chicken’s also a good choice, though I wasn’t sure about smoked chicken. Never had that before, but having protein is better than not having protein.

But, in the end, I wasn’t here for dinner.

“Qin’s here pursuing her daughter Feng. They say you’re the dad.”

Clancy couldn’t lie to save his life, so I wasn’t surprised when mouth suddenly clicked shut and his eyes seemed to try and pop out of his skull… but I didn’t account for his second attempt at a bear hug and wide smile.

“Feng’s finally coming over!? This is amazing news!” Alright. I’ll admit it. I don’t know why I’d think this guy would run away from his own parentage. “And, Qin’s going to be here, too!? That sounds great! I was wondering when I’d get to meet her, after Qin asked me to donate!”

Clancy donating made a lot more sense than him managing to get with Qin. With that knowledge, the world made sense again. No, I’m not making fun of Clancy. I was worried about my mental well-being, since I’ve seen Qin trip and fall over herself time after time over women.

All those precious memories were real, thus I was satisfied.

Then, of course, Clancy had to keep running his mouth and put the fear of god in me.

“You know, she was going to ask you first and wondered where you were. She got pretty mad that you left and cut off contact.” The tall string bean of a man with black hair rubbed his chin. Fine. His beard. Clancy has that one thing over me, I guess! “I don’t think she’ll still be mad, though. She’ll be happy to see you again.”

On one hand, Qin might just think of me as a good friend worthy of asking of such an honor for her future family.

On the other hand, I also knew Qin was ruthless as hell when it came to her future prospects.

Could Qin have asked Clancy to donate just so that she could have powerful offspring?

Might just be my paranoia talking, but I’d honestly say yes.

So… just in case, I’m going to avoid my former colleague.

I’d rather remember her as a skilled and capable operator and a useless woo-er of women, than as a person who’d ask for someone’s genetic materials to just get a strong kid.

Sorry, Qin, but you and I aren’t meeting again.