Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: 166: Reiser

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: 166: Reiser

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Commissioned by Shaderic

Wordcount: 2500

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A hall of horror stretched before me. The very fringes of my sense of self were threatened with annihilation. The tips of my fingers, the outermost edges of my body, felt as though they were exposed to both extreme cold and heat at the same time.

To battle against those from Between the Stars was to wage war in the most inhospitable of conditions: space itself.

Still, I moved forward into the Cathedral of the Empire.

This was sacred ground, a place where heroes came forth to aid the empire, and where we sent tribute in return for their aid. The glory and wealth of the Empire were on full display, in the form of statues, magical tapestries, and ceilings that stretched high into the sky filled with mosaics of the Empire’s history. To walk in its halls was once my dream, because it would mean being recognized as a hero of the Empire, and a sword against the Kindred.

Yet now it was but a place covered in the flesh of hundreds of thousands, and filled with power that crushed the Empire in but a few months.

“Reiser. Focus.” Ur’s voice reached me and I realized that I had missed a step. The gazes of my fellows wandered my way, but did not stay for long. I was in the company of peerless warriors, Amazons both living and unliving, and a Pharaoh from the great Desert. In their company, I felt small, but I knew this was where I was meant to be. Outside, Henri was maintaining our defenses against the reality-bending presence of the Eldritch creature, while Ashe and A’Bel threw themselves at it along with the main force to distract it. This was the only place I could be now, a dagger aimed at the heart of the creature we sought to defeat. “Do not lose your way.”

“Yes, I understand.” I steeled my mind against the corrupting influence that threatened to overtake me. The Amazons had resistance to magic, and the Pharaoh’s own divinity made sure the creature had no sway over her. In their presence, I was able to withstand the terrifying presence of the creature that destroyed all of the Empire and drove the royal family mad. “We need only go forward.”

“Forward? In this place?” Ur raised an eyebrow and a low chuckle left her lips, along with the rest of the Amazons. A strange cross between a grimace and a smile formed my lips. We all looked ahead and saw a twisting, curling passage ahead of us, and the same was the case behind us. The walls stretched and compressed, windows shifted in the corner of our vision, and doors opened and closed in seemingly every direction. The portraits all seemed alive, with bleeding eyes, and the carpet we strode upon felt more like flesh than fabric. “I suppose that we can manage.”

It was a hellscape.

No.

A world gone utterly mad.

Still, we went forward.

…

The world quivered and quaked with each blow that connected against the Eldritch creature.

We fought in the deepest depths of the Cathedral, the place from which heroes were summoned and tithes sent, and the battle ravaged everything in its wake. The footfalls of empowered warriors shattered ancient and innovative magical rituals underfoot. Masterwork mosaics moved by magic broke apart through pressure made by the impact of weapon against flesh too tough for nature to compose.

I fought in the midst of legends and gods against something that threatened all of reality.

“Forward! Protect the Pharaoh!” Ur called out from atop the writhing abomination. It shed its mortal form minutes ago and became a mass of flesh, eyes, and teeth that fought all of us at once. “Do not falter and have no fear! Fight! FIGHT!”

The Amazons used their bodies and skills to pin it down, deflect its attacks, and chop away at its mass. The blows they endured would’ve turned normal warriors to pulp, and the magics that they endured and had to heal through would’ve unmade all others.

“Be unmade, foul creature!”

Most mages and sorcerers would’ve been incapable of firing magic at the creature, the unseemly, writhing mass, but the Pharaoh that came with us incessantly fired pure, divine power upon the creature. The distilled form of this world’s truest power surged from her fingertips, as she slithered across the floor at breakneck speeds struck at the creature. The beams of light ate away at the unnatural composition of flesh, eyes, and wounds that we confronted, literally disintegrating the creature as we fought and fought.

But they were losing.

Two Amazons already fell, their bodies hastily moved away so that they could be saved by Hachiman later.

The Pharaoh’s power was waning, her initial strikes far more powerful than the ones she now cast, and she was desperately conserving her power.

Meanwhile, I was worthless.

Meanwhile, I struggled to breathe, to fight, and to even protect my body with my own power.

Meanwhile, I was being protected and risked everyone else’s lives.

Was I always this weak?

I never recalled faltering this way my entire life.

However, even at my weakest, I came to a slow realization as I dodged, and as I tried to cut through unnatural and nigh-invincible flesh.

Back then, this was how all the others felt, when they risked their lives to provide distractions for me to deal the killing blow. I had lamented their demise, I had wished that I was stronger, and I had trained with the intent on sparing as many of them as I could… but only now did I truly find myself in their place.

And, I had left them all to die, even after all they gave and sacrificed for me.

Tears stung my eyes.

The familiar deep hatred for myself curdled and broke into something maddening within my core.

And, all of a sudden, my vision sharpened, my senses returned to me completely, and the edge of my blade grew sharper than ever before.

A hundred eyes suddenly latched onto me, but before the creature could act, I surged forward and plunged my sword through it.

The blazing magic I called upon ripped apart my disguise and mask. The false ears and dyes came apart, while I burned from within and without with a power that I hadn’t felt since I left Hachiman and everyone else to pursue my own desires. It flowed through me, eating at my body, and causing pain within my very self.

But I endured it all and levelled my blade at the monster that I fought beside those I cared about.
Not again.

Never again.

Even if this is my very last moment, I will not abandon those who I cared for ever again.

“Reiser.” Ur’s voice was sharp. I could hear and see her concern now. Even though I forced myself to never look at her face. Now, I saw the care and concern she had for me. She knew that I found purpose and that I was willing to do anything to be victorious here. But… most of all… she understood what I did and never condemned me for it. “Are you sure?”

I didn’t hesitate to reply.

“Yes.” With my words, I poured more of myself into my body, my sword, and my senses. I could feel myself breaking down, and warm blood flowed out of my nose, eyes, and ears. A singular purpose. A singular desire. A discarding of one’s life. The three perfect weapons against any creature that dwelled within the stars. Some called it faith. Some called it purpose. All I knew was that I was willing to die here. “I am.”

With those words uttered, I leapt forward into the fray with Hachiman’s words in my mind.

“We’re all weak, Reiser, but if we do things right, we can still make the enemy lose.”

I never understood those words completely.

I thought that he was just willing to make sacrifices for victory.

But now I understood.

Hachiman felt the pain of sacrificing others very keenly, but he still endured the responsibility of command every moment that he could. Even though he lost every battle, having to trade the lives of his soldiers each and every time, he made sure to do everything that he could to keep as many others alive as possible.

How many lives did he save by enduring all that pain?

By driving himself to the brink of madness?

By nearly committing himself to his death, for the sake of burning down the Empire?

Knowing all of that… how could I hesitate to do accomplish a fraction of a fraction of what he accomplished!?

So, I charged forward.

The Ur and the others covered me, as I committed everything that I had towards the fight. My veins burst, my muscles tore, and my organs came apart under the pressure I forced myself through. My hearing came undone and my eyes threatened to pop, as sheer pressure from my speed nearly crushed my body, but I simply healed whatever broke.

The defensive actions of the others was beyond reproach, but still attacks came through, and I felt my heart pierced, my lungs destroyed, and for a moment a tendril nearly reached my brain through my skull.

But I reached it and plunged my blade into its body, before it could kill me completely.

Attacks barely worked against it, but I knew what to do.

It chose a human form.

So, I would anchor that form into this reality by imparting all my own existence upon it.

The instant I decided upon my course of action, my body came alight, my skin burning off in an instant, and pain became a part of me. My nerves, my muscles, my blood, my bones… all of me was converted into power and through will, as I broke all the rules of healing magic upon the eldritch creature.

Instead of rebuilding it, I was remaking it, and though it was costing me everything… I persevered.

It hurt, but I endured it.

I held onto my sword.

I held onto what little understanding I had of the wrongs I committed.

I held onto the promise that I could find some sort of meagre redemption.

So, I endured it… until I knew nothing more into a deep, dark, and silent nothingness.

…

There was darkness.

There was peace.

There was nothing.

I accepted it.

Then, suddenly, I opened my eyes and was reborn.

“Well, would you look at that. A Wight. You were right, Ur.” I saw his face, Hachiman’s face, and something both familiar and foreign took control over me in an instant. An urge that I never had before, but born from something that I once had, came upon me. It took me over. “How’s it feel to be alive again—mmgrph!?”

“Hachiman, please accept my sincerest of apologies! A thousand times over, I apologize for what I did! I understand now! Truly!” My death. The countless sacrifices made so I could kill. The thousands dead because I chose to leave. Then, my absolute conviction and belief in the people that harmed him. The leniency he gave me by allowing me to live and work for him once again. It all came into sharp contrast, as I discarded all the minor convictions and beliefs that I couldn’t let go as a human. Now, as Kindred, things were simpler and sharper. Perhaps, more importantly, as Undead… I knew the true cost of my decisions. “Command me however you wish, and I will do everything I can to apologize! I swear!”

I waited for his reply, for his harsh words, and for me to do everything I could to make it clear that I would devote this second life to him.

But only silence came and I worried… until Ur spoke out with an annoyed tone.

I never heard her annoyed before.

“Reiser, you are suffocating Hachiman.”

Suffocating?

Oh.

I let Hachiman go, and covered my chest. Most of my clothes had burned in the assault, along with my bindings. Reborn as a Kindred, most of my feminine features were emphasized too. It was an easy mistake to make.

“Cover your crotch too!”

Oh, that was necessary.

Ur grumbled and glared at me, confusing me since in didn’t recall her ever taking such tones with me before.

Hachiman, after catching his breath, spoke.
He had a cute blush on his face.

I wondered how he would look while he ca—

Ah, I’m a pervert now.

“The Amazons had more self control than you! Try to have some modesty, dammit!” Hachiman yelled at me. My spirit should’ve been crushed, my will broken, and my desire to do anything but sleep utterly diminished. Instead, I felt my insides clench and a deep emptiness within. The urge to invite him was overpowering. Oh, dear. Hachiman liked to yell at me all the time and this was how I was going to react? “A’Bel, get her some clothes and get her out of here!”

“Yes, my dear summoner.” A’bel spoke and a deep, instinctual fear arose in my heart. A glare formed on my features as I looked the Demon’s way. Her smile, her breasts, her hips, and tiny waist… where I once saw destruction given form, I saw a creature that would take everything from me and leave me with dregs! D-dregs that I would be fine with—no, I needed to be modest! “Come along, Reiser. Let’s get you dolled up. It’d be fantastic if he took your first time after you’re reborn right away, but our dear master isn’t into public displays.”

“Shut up, A’Bel!”

Hachiman tried to stop A’Bel, but the words already reached me, and broke the fledgling defenses I was trying to erect against my new instincts and desires. The thought of what she implied ravaged my brain. Hachiman looking upon me the moment I was reborn, lifting my legs, and just taking me for himself mere moments after I returned to life… there was nothing I could do.

A gasp left my lips, my toes curled, and suddenly electric shocks danced across my whole body.

In front of everyone.

In front of Hachiman.

At A’Bel’s words alone.

Shame, excitement, and more coursed through my body, while my mind struggled to understand my new form.

A’Bel spoke again, before I could get my bearings.

“My dear Master, it appears your old foe is now quite the easy toy to play with. Would you like chained to the foot of your bed? Kurama would like a companion down there.”

I ashamedly shivered through another ruinous, shameful display in front of everyone at those words, until Hachiman spoke again.

“Dammit, A’Bel! Get away already!”

“Yes, my dear master!”

Ah, he controlled her so completely.

Oh.

Oh no.

Oh no, oh no.

This was never going to stop was it!?