DxD: Celeste 15

DxD: Celeste 15

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Commissioned by Chaosbrain

Wordcount: 1000

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Taking a break from my work in Hell was easier than I thought.

I just had to ask to get teleported out by Not!Elena and I found myself back at home.

Home being my orbiting pseudo-battleship, which I had used to take down the Hero Faction.

No, I didn’t tell her where it was, but instead I sent myself through one of the arrays I set up in one of my safe houses. Technically, that safehouse was now compromised, so I made sure to have it self-destruct behind me.

Anyway, as per usual, I was relaxing at the end of my day.
A hard day of work needed a long night of relaxation.

“Ah, nothing like a good drink and a meal after a long day of work.” I’d eaten a pretty big lunch, but nothing made me hungrier than working through the day at full blast. While I had a divine constitution, I didn’t want any power wasted on making myself look pretty or having to contend with chronic issues, so the meal for the night was some lean beef and a lot of fresh vegetables. There was a strange dislike for vegetables in this world, at least in the countries I’ve been in, despite them being fresh and tasty. “Now… what to do?”

I stretched in my chair and looked at my computer.

If there wasn’t an air-gap, I had access to just about anything on the planet below. They had some digital infrastructure and security, but overall it wasn’t good enough to deal with a positronic computer, let alone a quantum one enhanced with pseudo-AI and my own skills with software.

Which I don’t slouch in at the slightest.

I made a whole espionage organization using only ethical AI staff!

“Alright, Jean, what’ve you found while I was away? Anything stupid that we need to put a stop to?” Yep, my hobby outside of work was casually manipulating the digital infrastructure of the world below towards improving its economy and stopping stupidity. “How’s the arrangements to stop the upcoming bubble pop going?”

Jean, of course, didn’t actually speak. It provided me with information that was helpfully summarized. I didn’t have enough time yet to make a true AI with feelings and stuff, especially since Azazel was just finishing up the Mk.1 of his Homunculi. Once I could get my hands on one that wasn’t slapdash and designed solely for power and looks, I’ll get one the issue real quick.

But back to my usual nightly unfucking of the world economy.

“Good, good. Those politicians will be losing all that money, those wired black accounts are going to charities, and the fake inflation of those stocks are going to be busted before they cause damage.” There was a lot of footwork that needed to be done, but that could wait until I got a few Homunculi on staff. For now, I worked with digital traces and a stupid amount of processing power. Paper trails were an issue, but anyone who wanted to make lots of money had to go electronic… and even then I had access to security cameras and the microphones of cellphones. My pseudo-AI was not that creative, but it had plenty of power. “Oh, and start buying stock in the companies that are devalued, but make sure there’s enough traction online that the companies doing it can’t stop it.”

I gave a little hum, while my computer did the work, and I considered going online to play some actual games… but it felt really limiting when time dilation wasn’t in effect. There was just a serious feeling of losing out when you had to play games in real time. I’d laughed when mom told me about how it was back in her day, but now it felt too real.

“Damn, I really need to get an AI up and running.” Time dilation was dangerous without someone moderating it, and AI with their high-processing speeds were perfectly suited for the task. They had the time and desire to go interact with hundreds of thousands of people at once, so that they could really fulfill their desires for society. An AI that wasn’t busy, without a homunculus body to enjoy, was practically being forced to endure terrible conditions. It’s a wonder how Munnin didn’t go crazy, but I suppose helping prevent the world from ending was enough of a job. “And, the videos are terrible too.”

I was used to near-real videos and animation, even though I was raised on “retro” stuff before Tomoko took control of the worldwide media. There was plenty of good stuff here, even when viewed on barely-4k-screens, but the time issue was at play again. The ones really worth watching were worth spending an hour or two enjoying, but those were and far in between.

So, in the end, I had to sigh as I looked at my communicator.

“I’m asking about their day. Not about work.” I swore to myself, while picking it up and going through the tiresome process of activating my work-phone off my work hours. It took a solid five minutes to do, and a bunch of heart-aching messages of disappointment from fictional voices worrying about me really hurt, but I forced myself to do it. Interaction with other people was worth spending real time with. “Alright, let’s see what Issei’s got going on—what the hell he’s seduced both of them!?”

I dialed Azazel instantly, forgetting my worries about working too much, with the juicy gossip that fell on my lap.

“Sup, dad.”

“Details, now!”

“Yessir.”

If there was really anything great about this world, it was the fact that having this many people around made things a whole lot more interesting.