Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: 162

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: 162

…

Commissioned by Shaderic

Wordcount: 2500

…

A day or two after the missives were sent, everything I asked for arrived.

In my old world, this would hardly raise an eyebrow. Businessmen casually hopped onto flights for meetings across the world. Hell, sometimes they had meetings while they were flying, just so that they could be on the clock. Things back in my world, in the context of a feudal world where innovation and transportation were stuck in the middle ages, were practically magic. Being able to move around a strike team anywhere I wanted, capable of killing extremely powerful people, was basically a superpower in and of itself.

Anyway, I made sure to meet with my people outside of Roseanne’s current operating area, as a favor to her while she did the harder task of portioning the Empire into squabbling states.

I chose a nearby, abandoned castle, and sat down to wait for Henri to finish completing what magics she needed. Oh, and for A’Bel to train everyone going to the front line to resist the madness inherent in fighting Eldritch creatures from the deepest cosmos.

My time, unfortunately, wasn’t being wasted lying around and doing nothing. There were requisition forms to fill out, training to get done in case the creature I summoned got too close, and orders to be given. The speed that I demanded didn’t translate to perfect deliveries, because Ylstu’s lift capability was based off of Kindred power and mental ability. Flying tubes with big engines and electronic brains that liked with GPS satellites were pretty hard to match in terms of reliability, so some shipments were delayed by a day or two, or needed people to link up with them because they got lost.

Overall, I was getting a good look at what would happen if I kept using my current WMD.

If this was the cleanup necessary after unleashing my WMD, I needed a better payload in the future.

This was way too much work, even though it was incredibly effective.

What’s that?

What about the madness and nation-destroying effect that the creatures have?

That’s not a detriment to the WMD, silly.

That’s a positive.

If they died/got killed by the enemy like planned, while rendering crazy amounts of damage and driving several enemy leaders insane, I’d consider the weapon perfect. The reason why I’m moving my WMD payloads from the Eldritch horrors to other forms of destruction is because I just don’t like expensive cleanup operations like this one. Gathering powerful champions, bringing them together, preparing a massive ritual, and getting all the logistics done for a victory against a single person… it was just way too high of a cost for a single-use weapon, despite its effectiveness.

After all, to work is to lose.

…

I tasked the Goblins with creating eyewear, or jewelry that could help protect my warriors. Even with Henri coming up with a ritual to supplement their mental willpower, and A’Bel teaching them ways to remain sane, I didn’t get this far taking risks that I could surmount with money.

I’ll admit, I expected some cumbersome goggles and helmets, before opening the shipments.

“Of course, they’re just wireframe glasses and chokers.” I didn’t know what I expected, while I watched Ashe scowl at glasses, but take to the choker with a big smile and come over to have me put it on. A lot of Kindred stared, but I ignored them while I did it. Be as strong as a Hellhound and as loyal as Ashe, then I’ll consider it. The rest of you can just put it on yourselves. “What did I expect?”

“Goblins are naturally prone to lewdness.” Henri stated simply at my glare.

“All Kindred are naturally prone to lewdness.” I grumbled, while the contrast between ferocious warrior women suddenly wearing glasses and chokers assaulted my eyes. These accessories are going to be the death of me. I still didn’t understand how modern styles just kept popping up in this world. Fashion builds upon itself too, y’know? Here, somehow, it just pops up in Ylstu and spreads around. Is the world literally taking the fetishes from my brain and putting them into the minds of the surrounding Kindred? “These will work right?”

“They are extremely well made. They can only be removed by the one who places it.” That earned Ashe a few glares, while she just stood up proudly and her tail wagging went to maximum. Henri, meanwhile, pushed up the glasses she was wearing and it did the anime glint thing. It worked surprisingly well with her battle-sorceress clothes, which was kinda like a combo between a gown and mages robes, albeit with a cleavage line that confirmed she had no panties. “The effects are meant to obscure and obfuscate Eldritch creatures, while still allowing them to be seen. It’s a classic protection against such creatures. Try it.”

I raised an eyebrow, since the words sounded familiar, and did try the glasses.

“Oh my god, it just mosaic censorship on everyone.” The means and methods to counter Eldritch horrors that dwell between stars, creatures that send whole nations to madness, was just a censorship toggle. The power of the Japanese legislature was as strong as I remembered. I didn’t know whether to laugh or scream in confusion, so I just left the problem to future Hachiman, and took the glasses off. “I’ll keep them just in case, but I’d rather not.”

“I am glad that you enjoy looking at us.”

“Well, I am a man.” I grumbled, while Henri stood by my side a lot straighter… and with more emphasis on propping out her chest. Yes, I get it. You’re attractive and willing. There’s a time and place for this sort of thing. Like after the coming battle. “Whatever. How’s your ritual coming along?”

The power of money went quite far when you had the right people, the labor, and the access to the right materials.

How do you get all of that?

With money, of course.

It’s money all the way down.

“My ritual is an enhanced version used by the Empire to combat Eldritch creatures. When I lived, they were common threats, until the Demon Lord decided they were too much of a liability.” Henri explained while gesturing behind us. A whole hold of a ship was filled with various magical materials, ranging from enchanted steel to donated blood of some Kindred, and it was all used for several floating cubes that hovered together. “These reinforce reality and the laws of our realm in their surroundings. They are designed to encircle the enemy and bombard her with the principles of the material realm, while staying out of the reach of her attacks. They will be rendered unusable after the battle, unless we go through the trouble of spending much to refilling its reserves.”

It was a maxed out debuff item that needed resources to be reloaded.

Man, I was making a joke about money being a superpower, but this was a straight up cash-shop item made real for a raid to have an easier time with a final boss that F2Ps would never beat.

Man, no wonder games with systems like that made tons of money.

This feeling was addicting.

It’s always great to win.

Oops, that’s a bad flag.

“How much time would it take to load up a whole ship with enough explosives to just kill it?

“Given the fact that it warps reality and can ignore most rules and laws inherent to our physical plane, you would need a fleet. Truly, we can only engage it, peal away its defenses, and either seal it or kill it.” Drat, I needed to stop thinking about winning easily, if I couldn’t secure a win by throwing enough money at the problem. Henri seemed to notice my disappointment and placed a hand on my shoulder. “My apologies, my lord, I’ll begin developing a ranged version of the Empire’s Eldritch destruction sorcery as soon as I am able. After all, with the rising industry across the continent and the weapon being proved, we will need it.”

“And, it’s better to have it and not need it anyway.” I agreed and moved forward. The equipment was being handed out and the ominous, buzzing cubes were being attached to their masters. I examined the warriors gathered and for a second spotted something strange. Lamia trails on the dirt, even though there weren’t any Lamia present. I put two and two together. “Henri, go ahead and get rid of the illusion the Apophis is using.”

Henri’s eyes widened for a moment, and she glared at the camp, while calling upon a spell in her hand without a word.

A moment later the spell flowed over the camp and unveiled the captive I’d placed under Roseanne to do paperwork.

“Yo, what’s your name again?” The guards noticed her immediately once the illusion she had shattered. The Apophis tried to resist, but she wasn’t exactly equipped and ready, while all my soldiers at the moment were. Sure, she was plenty strong, but I didn’t skimp on lathering my troops up with as many magical, enhancing gear that I could get. Honestly, it was an attempt to get more clothes on them, but the more money I poured the less and less the clothes got. What was I talking about again? Oh, right. The Pharaoh. “Was it Miranda?”

“My name is Miriam, and I am here to ensure your crazed weapon does no harm to the rest of the world! I may be an Apophis, but as a Pharaoh I still have a duty to the world to end threats such as these!”

“Mhmm, okay. Sounds good. Get armed up and equipped. We’re leaving in a few hours.”

With that, I turned away from the Pharaoh and hoped that she’d have the good sense to just leave and not complicate things any further.

“Just like that!?”

I hoped for too much, apparently.

“Yes. Just like that, because otherwise I’d have to think and consider the ramifications of you doing the stupid shit you’re doing now.” I grumbled and thought about how this would complicate the political landscape over in the lands of the Pharaohs. Our so-called hostage escaped her captivity to fight an eldritch being. Most would be swayed by her explanation, but it was a disaster for our internal security’s reputation. “You’re not allowed to die, but if you get one of my soldiers killed, you’ll wish you were. Get out of my sight.”

Miriam was about to open her mouth again, but one of my soldiers took the cue to get her out of the way.

Henri looked like she was ready to beat herself up over the whole affair, while A’Bel was glaring at the Pharaoh.

Either for blowing her cover, or for having something slip past her.

All I knew was that this wasn’t good for morale for the fight, so I changed gears.

“Forget about her. We’re fighting and that’s that.” Or, rather, I forced things back to the path they were prior on by being insistent. That got Henri to refocus on me, and I addressed everyone else in earshot. “The mission stays the same! This is a stupid fight, so it’ll be even stupider of any one of you die in it. I’ve already got everything planned out, so just relax, do your jobs, and get everything done without dying, or your second lives will start out with punishment details!”

That got the rest of the camp moving, though one of Ur’s new lieutenants came by to ask a question.

"And, if we already died once?”

I glowered at the towering, platinum blond with more muscle in her abdominals than I had in my whole body. She was wearing the reverse-leotard armor that all Amazons wore, so her torso and crotch area were covered by hanging curtains barely capable of concealing anything. All the muscle, tattoos, and curves vaguely reminded me of a certain artist. Was it M*lon*2?

Whatever.

It’s a testament to how desensitized I was because of Kindred that I craned my neck up and didn’t flinch meeting her gaze through deep valleys.

“I’ll bring you back, somehow, kicking and screaming if needed and you’re paying off your resurrection, for the rest of your next unlife.”

That earned me a grin and a smirk from the Vampire Amazon, and she turned to leave, while I turned my attention back to Henri.

“Put bringing Undead back to life on the research table.”

“Yes, my lord.” My Lich demurely replied with a curtsy. No mention of impossibility in the slightest. “Your will shall be done.”

Naturally.

…

My personal flagship was improved for the voyage too. Something about Eldritch creatures made them capable of interfering with magic, so that meant it would be bad to fly around them from up high with a magic ship. Falling to my death because of sheer ignorance wasn’t on my list to do with my very long, upcoming retirement and life, so I once again used the power of money.

Or, the power of a fantastic industrial base, with a booming commercial and entertainment center, which various passing armies have as their sole place to have R&R while on the front.

Whatever you call it, it was the power of money.

Most of the magical ballistae were taken off, along with the vertical-launched missiles, and tanks filled with magical energy were placed in to power the same spells that Empire used to fight against the Eldritch. They used it for their Knights, while I layered it across the whole ship, and it was power hungry to the point that a whole hold filled with enough magical essence could barely power it for a few minutes against the full strength of the creature we were going to face.

But that’s all the time we needed, because the only weapons that remained with us were meant to force the creature to the ground.

My new flagship, sadly, was going probably going to be sacrificed like my prior one for the victory by acting as a platform.

Hachiman’s Ship Mk2, I hardly knew you, but it was a pleasure to get to know you.

But, if sacrificing this ship meant coming back safe and sound (via one of my other battleships coming right behind for pickup or retreat), it was a price I was willing to pay.

It was an investment, a grand weapons platform, and a showcase of Ylstu’s power and sovereignty.

But a country and a ruler are nothing without a people.

I might be a massive asshole, jerk, and tyrant, but at the very least, I wasn’t going to sacrifice lives for a ship.

With that thought in mind, I looked over to where the Empire’s capital lay beyond my sight.

Finally, it was time to really end my campaign against the Empire.