Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: 145

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: 145

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Commissioned by Shaderic

Wordcount: 2500

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Magic.

Honestly, I disliked magic quite a bit.

Maybe, if I had some ultra-high-level-super cheat ability with magic, I’d think differently on the subject.

But I was stolen from my home via magic, received no cheat ability, and lived horribly for several years.

If someone put a button in front of me, that made all magic impossible, I’d press it without thinking about all the repercussions it would have on a magic-based societies on this planet.

Well, maybe, I would just use it as leverage to get everyone else to kill the Empire, then leave me alone so that I could do whatever I wanted.

But that’s beside the point.

I disliked magic a lot, but I accepted the fact that I needed it to get what I wanted. The simple logic that I used to make myself amenable to using it was that not all forms of magic kidnapped people from their homes and forced them to live through hell.

Combining that thought process with the knowledge that I could use magic to destroy the Empire, or help me along with my plans to create a place that will let me destroy the Empire, allowed me to use it without much concern.

However, being on the receiving end of a magical bombardment was making me rethink those lines of thought.

…

Skyscraper-sized blasts of golden light slammed into the crackling shields of Ylstu, turning night into day with each strike, and exhausting my spellcasters with every passing moment.

I watched each attack from the balcony of Henri’s castle, the most defensible location in Ylstu besides the Dwarven hold where most of my population was.

Each strike, without the defensive shields of the city, would wipe out entire blocks of Ylstu in a single hit.

The fact that they were coming every few seconds, needless to say, pissed me off.

It was like the Empire came over to personally wipe out all the work I’ve done in the past few years.

“My Lord, my estimates.” Henri interrupted my thoughts by arriving. She was clad for battle in layers of enchanted silk that flowed around her, a wide-brimmed hat, and her ancestral staff. The Lich was covered in enough magical protections that it would be easier for someone to punch through one of the castle’s reinforced walls than hurt her. Naturally, though, the enchanted layers of silk waved and moved around in a manner that showed off the fact that she was wearing black lace underthings beneath it all. “Would you prefer me to just tell you?”

I nodded, even though I took the written report and glanced over it myself, beneath the fading light of the latest attack.

Without the magical protections, I would’ve been blown off the balcony or I would’ve had my eardrums burst. In the path of the golden rays, there was complete annihilation, but surrounding it was trees uprooted and burning. Some of the trees were sent so far that they spread fires in the north and south of the valley.

Henri hadn’t skimped on the protections I commissioned though, so the beam’s additional effects weren’t bleeding through and wreaking havoc.

I didn’t even hear what sounds it made, while going through the air.

Admittedly, I wanted to hear the noise of a giant death laser in real life, but I wasn’t going to get killed for the sake of my curiosity.

Anyway, Henri spoke while I skimmed her report.

“The defenses will last until tomorrow, but before noon. We will be without strategic protections against this siege for three hours. The castle can withstand it, and so can the Dwarven hold, but Ylstu will be wiped out.” Henri explained and gestured towards my town, which was more like a small city at this point. I looked over it and I could easily spot signs of the disciplined retreat my citizens took. Everything was locked up nice and tight, and even abandoned it was neat, as if waiting for my people to return to their homes. “We have the capital to replace everything, although some memories will be lost, our people will keep their lives and be able to rebuild.”

I read over the report and verified that the information was accredited by some of Roseanne’s scholars, before giving my thoughts on the matter.

“I’m not giving that bitch or the Empire a single fucking piece of my city.” I grunted and Henri nodded at my words. She did her best to not be aroused, and she almost managed, but the signs were obvious. I just ignored the sudden pitter-patter of nectar dropping onto the floor. And, the Kunoichi feigning fainting and swooning in the corner of my vision, but that wasn’t my Lich’s fault. “Get everyone ready to kill whatever the fuck that is.”

According to the reports, the one attacking my city was some sort of piece of the Empire’s Goddess inhabiting their Church’s Popess. They said that it was difficult for Kindred to be in her presence, and A’Bel was barely holding herself back from fighting her, telling me everything I needed to know about how dangerous she was. The creature I was facing was truly some sort of miracle cast at the last second by the Empire by their most pious and powerful weapon.

I hoped all of that was true.

Cast all the magic you want, tear down those shields, and waste your strength to burn through all the power of my spellcasters.

The plan I had to kill the Popess was overkill with all the Amazons and their new Onimusha and Vampires siblings.

Now, with the Amazons in play,  along with A’Bel, Henri, Sayuri, Reiser, and Kurama… and a few more tricks here and there?

Well, I was looking forward to murdering a miracle.

It was time to properly, carefully, and perfectly grind the Empire’s face into the dirt, before killing it slowly.

…

Ur looked upon the map of the area I was deploying her and her troops in when I entered the room.

Over the last few months, she’d grown a bit. Instead of reaching my sternum, she was about my shoulder height. Her frame remained slender, despite the increase in muscle mass that came with the improved nutrition. Amazons just remained slender, cute, and curvy despite being able to bench horses with natural strength alone.

Ur turned my way just as the door to the room closed, which was guarded by two of her lieutenants. Her hair’s grown longer and she wore it in a ponytail with parted, wild bangs that were close to her eyes. She and I both didn’t look anything like we did when we first met, but I barely noticed that most days.

She and I were just the same as always.

“Chieftain. Are you here to tell me good luck?”

“No, because I’m sure you’ll win with everything I’m throwing at the problem. I’m here to tell you not to mess up.” I moved to the table and placed myself opposite of Ur. It felt like the days when we were staring at maps in a shitty tent while fighting against all odds. Tch. I didn’t like it, but the command room took up power that we couldn’t spare. “Tell me what you’re doing, so I can fix whatever mistakes you’ve missed.”

Ur glowered at me, but rolled her eyes.

“I made ONE mistake in ONE battle.”

“And, we almost all died, so I’m going to check to make sure we don’t. You’re welcome.”

Ur scoffed and I laughed lightly, but soon enough she accepted my request.

“Fine. Me and my Amazons will be launching a three-pronged attack, while concealing ourselves as much as possible, while the enemy is suppressed.” Ur gestured at the map. The three attack vectors were simple. One went straight forward and two came at the flanks. One of the flanking routes was intended to engage the enemy in the rear, so they overshot the enemy’s left side. “The enemy force is fifty in number, composed of the Church’s finest Knights and a shard of what they call their Goddess. Our goal is to kill it.”

I nodded. That was about right.

“What’s the priority list on the field?” I consulted my troop leaders on the overall strategy by taking their experience on the field into account. It helped me make more effective moves in the future with the units that I sent forward. However, when they were in battle, I left decisions up the officers and simply did my best to assist them with what I had on hand. Micromanagement was something that I did my best to avoid. “What are your plans if they decide to retreat?”

“If they retreat, then we will bleed them out and focus on reducing our own causalities. However, it is unlikely that they will retreat. They are of the Empire’s Church and they have their goddess to protect. It is unlikely.”  Ur explained and I listened, as she shook her head. “The priority is the destruction of the Goddess’s avatar. To that end, I will be taking the former Chieftains of the other tribes to fight beside me, as well as my own tribe’s finest. All other targets will face everyone else in the group.”

I nodded, before asking another question.

“Ashe will be returning soon. Do you think I’ll need to deploy her to help you?” Ashe cleared out several trouble spots, after I called on her to hold the line while the rest of Ylstu gathered strength. Since frontlines were clear for a few days, I called on her to return via aerial transport. She was set to arrive tomorrow, but the fighting had been hard and traveling via air wasn’t exactly relaxing. “Or, is everyone else enough?”

Ur teeth grit at my implication that her Amazons weren’t enough, but she recalled the fact that we were being put to siege and the secondary effects of the attacks we were getting hit by were ruining the valley with ease.

So, she swallowed her pride.

“Any help offered will be greatly appreciated. With A’Bel and the others already assigned, I am sure of our victory, but any more assistance is worthwhile.” Ur sure has improved as a leader ever since we first met. Wait, am I raising death flags for her by reminiscing about all of this? Shit. “But, of course, the question is what you intend to do in order to aid us. Just so you know, we’ve all agreed: if you try to join the battle, we’re throwing you into the Dwarven hold without any guards.”

A shiver went down my spine at the thought of being trapped in highly-fortified location filled with Kindred and near-inexhaustible supplies of food as the sole man.

I wouldn’t get through to the other side of the mountain range without the “Free Use” tag inscribed into my soul.

IF I got out.

But back to the situation at hand.

“Yeah, I’m not risking my neck against a city-destroying beam. All the support you’re getting from me is just my dearest, most valuable possession in the world.” I sighed and shook my head. It was over. I spent it already by giving the order, so I had to let go. Even though I didn’t want to part with it. “The S.S. Hachiman will be attracting attention, providing fire support, and fighting with a skeleton crew of familiars.”

My magical pirate ship was an incredible asset, but I had to face the facts: I had more on the way and I had a strict build limit. If I wanted three upgraded versions, that meant that I needed to get rid of the first once. Would I have liked to keep the ship for sentimental reasons? Totally, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to commit it the current battle.

I’m selfish, not crazy.

Ur raised an eyebrow, while I wiped away the tears welling up in my eyes and sniffled at the fat of my boat.

“Your sacrifice is much appreciated, Hachiman.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m great.”

Ur shook her head and let loose a laugh, before crossing her arms and looking my way.

“So, are you going to tell me to run away if I can’t win?”

“Of course, because that’s what I would do.” I confessed without a shred of hesitation. Shame? What’s that? It sounds like something that you have to live with. Emphasis on “live with.” Also, it’s not like my survivor’s guilt can get any worse. It’s maxed out, so there’s literally no cost for me to run away anymore. “Roseanne is arriving within two hours of the battle. If you can’t win, then you delay and make sure she can’t fire on Ylstu. If you can’t do that, then let the town be destroyed. It’ll be a setback, but the people of Ylstu are more important… and that includes the Amazons.”

Ur’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second, before a smile crossed her face. Then, she proceeded to bow her head to me from across the table. The other Amazons present in the room took note, directed themselves at me, and bowed their heads too.

It felt weird, so I was glad that Ur raised her head after a few seconds.

“Chieftain, the battle will be conducted as you demand it. The lives of the tribe will be held in high priority, second only to the destruction of the enemy with as little casualties as possible.” Ur proclaimed and I nodded at her words. I’ve had enough Pyrrhic victories for several lifetimes. If I had to start over with just my troops and citizens in this valley, in exchange for keeping them all, then I would gladly pay that price. I wasn’t going to let Ylstu’s infrastructure and city be destroyed while waiting for Roseanne to show up, but I would for my people. “Rest assured that your warriors will bring you victory and sorrow upon the enemy.”

“Mhmm, thanks. You do that.” I wasn’t one for speeches. I preferred signing off on orders and giving commands that killed off my enemies. Still, though, I could read the mood and Ur’s glare was kinda scary, so I made some effort for the sake of the rest of the Amazons. “Crush the Empire’s Goddess, break their spirit, and stop their invasion. Accomplish your mission, and then… it’ll be our turn to attack.”

Those words earned me a few nods and I moved to exit the room when a Kunoichi rose from my shadow and handed Ur a letter with Kurama’s seal on it.

I stopped when Ur opened it, read it, and suddenly turned the brightest shade of red I’d ever seen her make.

My instinct told me to run away, but I was dazzled by the look on Ur’s face, so I stunlocked until she noticed me staring.

She ripped up the paper in seconds, but the damage was done as she spoke to me.

“That… that was none of your business! Just leave already, Hachiman!”

Ur pushed me out of the room without a hint of explanation, but the messenger was with me… and I already suspected what Kurama wrote down there, given my wife’s fetishes.

“Kurama told her to bring me that Goddess’s head, because it would me happy enough  to reward her with my virginity, right?”

My fears were confirmed by a thumbs-up rising from my shadow.

Great.

My Kitsune wife was sending out letters promising my virginity to other women, if they can defeat an incarnated goddess.

I should’ve seen this coming, since everything’s been so serious lately.