A Perfectly Logical Guide to a Superhuman Apocalypse: Chapter 21

A Perfectly Logical Guide to a Superhuman Apocalypse: Chapter 21

…

Wordcount: 2500

Commissioned by Arksoul

…

The negotiations were typical.

Both of us were barely happy with what we were getting.

In other words, we reached a compromise.

For Shiva’s AI, it was giving me a weapon that I wanted, while for me it was the fact that I wasn’t getting anything that I could leverage as a deterrent. 

“I have gone through my records, as well as my analysis of most existing superhumans.” The AI’s ambassador form walked beside me through one of its rebuilt workshops. It hasn’t even been a month since the attack, yet it already rebuilt everything I destroyed. Not only that, but it’s defenses were improved and it had a settlement building up on the moon. “With your limitations in mind, I have crafted a weapon that should allow you to kill individuals with incredible defenses.”

“If I overload its power source, can it at least blow up a city block?”

“No, if you do that, it will simply cease to function and give your target advanced technology.” The AI glared at me through its ambassador form. I groaned in response, as we reached the workshop where her humanoid bodies worked in tandem with dozens of robotic arms around a single table. Every single thing that the AI created could be considered a piece of functional art, but with its multi-tasking ability and bodies, whatever it made could also be produced en-masse. It didn’t have to choose between quality and quantity. “Technology that could theoretically be used to create the defenses I used to trap you.”

“Great, so if I’m not careful with it, the weapon will kill me.”

“All weapons will do that, if you do not handle them properly, Designation: Egress.” 

“Well… I can’t disagree with that.” I muttered and the AI gave me a smirk with its perfectly crafted features. Sometimes, I wished that it was a smug, superior creature that saw humans as inferior. Not because I had a fetish for tall, dark-skinned gynoids looking down on me, but because it’d be easier to take on and defeat in combat. Fighting while you’re in the right is the best. “So, what is it?”

“A modified matter-shaper, which I typically utilize to transform common elements into others for the sake of manufacturing my units.” Yeah, I figured that there was some obscure, nigh-unintelligible science going on here. I was talking to an AI that could create super-cyborgs capable of tearing apart nations. The fact that it could just manipulate matter via its creations barely made me blink. “When you activate it, a blade three inches in length will form. It will adapt against what it cuts, and allow you to eventually gain a weapon that can cut through anything after enough samples.”

“…I asked for a weapon that would let me protect myself from anything and you give me a shiv?” I looked at the inconspicuous handle, as it was offered to me by one of the manipulator arms trundling on treads. It felt weighty in my hand and it was obviously made for me, since my hand fit into the grooves with ease. “You probably want to explain before I just leave and forget about you.”

My threat was taken in stride and with a scoff.

“You have demonstrated the ability to attack through your portals via explosives. I am sure that you can do the same with any form of projectile that stays long enough in the barrel.” Uh, well, shit. I was kinda hoping to keep that ability a secret. Time to deploy a poker face and keep quiet, so that the hyper-intelligent AI doesn’t get its suspicions verified. It probably wasn’t going to work, but I was going to try anyway. Maybe, it’ll just think I’m a moron who never thought about doing that. “This is the only weapon that I can feasibly give you, which you will have to use with thought and care, instead of simply firing from safety. Given the lack of control that I have over it, the fact that you using it will be on your conscience is what I rely upon.”

In laymen’s terms, if I want to use the weapon, I need to be there and swing the knife myself. The range was probably to make sure that I didn’t lose out on the sensation of what I was doing, and would make sure that I’m in proximity of whoever I attacked. If someone was particularly tough, I’d have to hit them several times before the shiv’s trick worked, and that was time that I would be thinking about what I was doing. 

There was only one way to respond to particular discovery.

“You’re malicious when you don’t get exactly what you want, you know?” Whether it had access to my psych profile, or simply figured me out from the start, the AI deduced that I wasn’t going to go out of my way to kill people. I understood the terrors involved in doing that, and so I charged a hefty amount for the act, and outright refused to attack most of the big-namers who earned that much ire from other people. I’ve killed a few people, and I had blood on my hands, but most of the time I wasn’t up-close and personal when I did it. Overall, using the weapon I now had was going to be a pain the ass. “But, fine, I guess it’s what I’ve asked for: something that’ll keep me safe against people who are tougher than they should be.”

Shiva’s creation nodded at my statement and put the handle on my belt, after sending my sidearm away. 

With that part of the transaction finished, it was my turn to get things done. 

…

Shiva’s AI had a command center, but it wasn’t meant for humans, so I was put back in the diplomacy room and given a few screens to look through. The AI refitted every inch of a supervillain’s base when it took over and most of it wasn’t built for humans in mind. So, since I was mostly human save for the superpowers, I got briefed on the situation and what I had to do. 

I’d given the AI a rough idea of where I’d been sent blindfolded and hooded, and it used that information to determine a rough location for its fellow AI. With the information it gathered, I could now access the bunker, handle its guards, and fetch the AI.

Appear, blow things up, retrieve X, and escape with ease.

Typical job for a teleporter with my capabilities.

Unfortunately, Shiva’s AI was proving more adverse to harming people than I thought. It didn’t want anyone to die in the operation, even though we were conducting an operation against a bunch of people that wanted to steal its bits and pieces to make powerful weapon. 

 Yep, I thought I was getting used to the thought of an AI being a paragon of virtue, but it just keeps upping the ante with very other move.

I’m a teleporter with access to an advanced arsenal of explosives I could just pop into the bunker, yet I’m getting briefed for a stealth mission.

Micromanagement is a bitch.

“As you can see, the Bunker’s security is incredible, and I’ve identified several locations that even my miniature scouts cannot access. These locations are places you must create points of entry in and place my drones into.” Still, there were benefits to how thorough my boss was. Tearing out the AI in the air-gapped room was apparently not an option. It had more security measures than I originally though, and they had to be deactivated first from other locations in the massive underground complex. “You will do that by using these canisters. Place the red end against the door, then activate it. It will create a tunnel for the drone to walk through, then reseal it. While I search one room, you will search and enter the others.”

I nodded and memorized the layout of the base as best as I could. The places I’d been before were my points of entry and the AI had those places laced with drones, monitoring the patrols of people within, and compromising the security features with its drones, so that I could head in without being detected. Again, it’d be easier to throw bombs in and blow everything up, but I couldn’t deny the fact that this approach had its appeal.

Though, admittedly, I wouldn’t go this far to not hurt people who betrayed me. 

I wouldn’t go out of my way to hunt them down, but I wasn’t an especially merciful person who just let attempts on my life go without repercussion. A man has to have a line in the sand that he lives by… and I was technically being paid to just let bygones be bygones. Not killing them was earning me goodwill from Shiva’s AI, and getting something for doing nothing was great. 

Anyway, I checked on the aforementioned canisters. 

They were gray with red tips and had a bit of heft to them. The fact that they could carve through solid surfaces and plug up the mess they made was interesting.

 I could use something like that.

“Can you make one of these that sends a camera through?” My question earned me a raised eyebrow. The AI was probably wondering how I would use it to kill someone. “There might be more things to investigate than you think, and I can get inside them with just a look.”

“Hm, fine. However, I will make sure that it cannot react to biological matter.”

“I’ll be pretty screwed if the walls are made out of meat, but I guess I’ll have to take my chances.”

“Quite.”

Shiva’s AI was being particularly snippy today, but I made no comment, so it continued explaining the situation.

“You’ll be looking for failsafe systems and self-destruct mechanisms. It’s likely that the bunker has such systems, because of its contents. They would be foolish to have such a trove and give it a means to be conquered.” I nodded at that logic. A lot of people questioned why so many supervillains had lairs that went boom. Most of the time was the fact that supervillains were batshit insane and wanted to take out their opponents with them, if they couldn’t win. However, other times, it was more logical. They denied their assets to their enemy, so that countermeasures couldn’t be created against them through study. If every single doomsday weapon ever made was studied and reverse engineered, we’d either be living in a paradise free of want or Earth would just be dust in the void. “In all likelihood, they’ll have some sort of implosion-based system that will collapse the base and render everything effectively lost. It’s the most cost effective means of destruction.”

“Uh-huh, so I’m going to have to look for just about everything, then.”

“Why do you think so?”

“People willing to attack an AI in its territory for salvage don’t exactly sound like they care about cost-effectiveness. I’d bet that they have at least one nuke in that base. Probably, three.”

The AI didn’t particularly like that statement, but nodded nonetheless.

“I’ll prepare for the worst eventuality then… and you must be aware that the possibility of a deadman switch is present. That makes it far more important that you harm no one, so that you don’t trigger the trap yourself.” 

I groaned at that bit of logic.

“Yeah, yeah. Fine. That makes sense.” 

Man, I hate it when my points about people being crazy ended up making what I wanted to do harder.

Couldn’t I live in a world where I’m the only one who’s competent?

Being a god would be incredibly convenient, I’d probably get to stay home without worrying about Earth getting ruined by superhuman warfare.

“Then, finally, there is the matter of my fellow AI. Ideally, you’ll be able to transfer all the hardware without issue, but if that is not possible, you will use this.” One of the AI’s bodies in pure white uniforms came forward and placed a bulky backpack. It was about the size of a carry-on luggage bag. I raised an eyebrow at the composition of blocks and wires that didn’t look like the AI’s usual motif. The ambassador body apparently came with a blush feature. Jeez, if any nerds managed to survive the last couple years, this AI was going to have them wrapped around its finger. “It is a ramshackle design, but I erred on the side of caution to safely contain and control it.”

“It’s better than a lot of the prototypes I’ve worked with in the past, so it’s fine.” I looked it over and confirmed my statement. There weren’t any mysterious, possibly cancerous fluids dripping out. No sparks of electricity coming out of places. It was like a big, tough, and heavy box that had some sort of wire and adaptor. That was good enough. “Why did you make it into a backpack, though? I can just come back and pick it up.”

The AI was quiet for a second and looked at me with a downcast gaze.

I felt a small chill go up my poor spine.

“That’s one of four that you will have to bring over and they will all have to be brought over.  Once you disarm all possible traps, you will carry one on your back, one on your front, and then one in each hand.” Well… shit. Three more similar devices came forward and the white-clad bodies of the AI assembled them. They latched onto one another and created a single machine, which gave off a beep and a green light to show that it was working. It was the size of a motorcycle. “This is the smallest I could make it. If I did not miniaturize it, it wouldn’t fit the dimensions of the interface room that you described.”

I groaned a little at the sight of it.

I’d transported futuristic fighter planes before, but I didn’t have to carry them and they fit where I went with them. However, in this case, I had to carry things with me and assemble them on-site, because the non-modified version wouldn’t fit in the other end. It was honestly a genius solution on the AI’s part… but that didn’t change the fact that the situation was complicated.

I had to find hidden rooms and infiltrate them with drones.

I had to avoid detection and not kill anyone. 

And, now, I had to assemble a system designed to hold an entire AI after carrying it all in, then dissemble it all properly, before going out. 

Then, finally, I was doing it all to keep a shiv.

The more I thought about this job, the more I was being convinced it was a bad idea.