Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: 123

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero: 123

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Commissioned by Shaderic

Wordcount: 2500

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Irreplaceable.

What made a noble amongst the Kindred irreplaceable?

It was a whole slew of things.

Money, personal power, alliances with other nobles, professional soldiery, and more.

There was no average noble amongst the Kindred, because they had numerous cultures, customs, and literal, different races. A lot hailed from lands beyond the continent, some came recently centuries ago, and some crossed into the area millennia ago. Even with how mobile and strong the average Kindred was, they didn’t have the infrastructure that allowed quick movement of populations until recently, and so people were isolated, came up with their own way of living, and developed their own civilizations while squabbling here and there with other Kindred.

Until the first Demon Lord came along, they were a disunited bunch that fought against one another for their own personal wealth, glory, and power. That fact has persisted to this day, which in truth made the Kindred more like a federation of different countries, situated in many different environments, each with their own desires and wishes for independence.

The Kindred under the Demon Lord “are.”

The Kindred under the Demon Lord aren’t “is.”

The Demon Lord is the hero of these people because of their ability to unify them through violence. Each of them arose to get these people to unite and fight together. One tribe, fief, or territory had no chance against the Empire, and even with large alliances, they’ll just last longer, give more bodies to the Empire, and end failing and unleashing a more powerful opponent on the rest.

But, in the end, both violence at the hand of the Demon Lord and an enemy at the gates wasn’t enough to bring the Kindred together into a single people. Even up to now, they had their own goals, wishes, and desires that Roseanne had to weigh, measure, and harvest only when necessary. If Roseanne just wanted to defend her territories, then there would be no issue, but if she wanted to invade, if she wanted to break the stalemate, and advance socially and technologically like the Empire, then she had to curry favor with the rest of the nobility and the lands that they used.

Roseanne and all the other Demon Lords were effectively forced into this role, because Kindred inherently didn’t work together, unless they were forced to, or saw the benefits in doing so. They were monsters of different races, beliefs, traditions, and societies. They united against common threats, but if that threat was a Demon Lord, who wanted to rule over them all, then they’d unite against her just as they would against the Empire.

In effect, the Kindred were a bunch of lowlifes with a lot of power and wouldn’t do jack shit unless there was something in it for them, especially when they were already entrenched and well off. They’ll just keep building their personal fiefs, enjoy themselves, and keep what they have for themselves, until somebody took it from them.

Someone like me.

Not Roseanne, but with Roseanne’s blessing as an enforcer, with powerful friends on the outside, advantages that they couldn’t take on, and who they couldn’t ally against without looking weak to their opportunistic neighbors. And, if they did manage to swallow their pride, send out letters, and try to ally, then I could hit them faster and harder than they could make a coalition.

But, besides all that, the best way to get the nobility to fall in line, instead of struggling, was to give the leeching scum an out that would benefit them by being taken.

For example, Roseanne’s recent reforms, which they’ve been resisting as an affront to their authority, despite being capable of providing them with more wealth and power, at the cost of some loss in authority. Having that as a way to make me from stop coming over would give the cowards a way out right away, the pragmatic ones a way to avoid conflict, and maybe convince an idiot or two to reveal themselves, so I could put them down.

Roseanne’s reforms and offers were going to work as both a carrot and bait, while I acted as the unspoken threat and the big stick to be wielded when someone decided to be stupid.

…Dammit.

I wish I lived in a world where referring to myself as a stick didn’t need me to clarify that I wasn’t talking about my penis.

…

Roseanne’s offered reforms, after I fixed up the errors it had because of lack of knowledge, was a compact, sleek, and modular method of extending her influence over her territories. She approached the situation like a battle, so she assembled a largely-self-sufficient force of teachers, scribes, and architects to where she desired. The people who didn’t need to stick around were taken back and assigned elsewhere, flown with the use of the transports becoming more common throughout Kindred lands, while the budding educational and administrative staff got to work.

From their buildings, they went out and established classes, began making audits, and sending reports back to Roseanne. The tidal wave of information that Roseanne had was due to the fact there was no middle-management or analysts between her and the bureaucracy. She’d copied my paranoid style of leadership in my early days at Ylstu, where I trusted no one, and didn’t update the system when I did. She thought, for some reason, that she could be me a hundred times over for the entire portion of the continent that she ruled over.

To her credit, she managed for a few months without help, before I came along and found her too swamped with work to properly punish an error employee (me.)

The Vielle’s former territory was now going to receive the updated version of Roseanne’s reformation project. Managers and analysts were going to be included amongst the auditors and those implementing changes throughout the territories. Instead of receiving news and having to green-light every little thing, Roseanne could set goals for entire regions after receiving only the necessary information from the region, and leave operations to the people that she sent over. These small outposts of Roseanne’s authority would also be checked by her personal, trusted associates and the fidelity of their reports assured every year.

Sure, she had to train up more people and put in more money, but the result was a more effective system that wasn’t bottlenecked by Roseanne’s ability to work herself to death. Overall, it was a much-improved system, but it remained a generalized solution to a diverse populace stretched over an entire continent. Improvements could be made, and since I was already present and accounted for, I figured that I should see to making those improvements and speeding along the extensive reformation process taking place across Kindred lands.

The sooner they got their shit together, the sooner the Empire stopped being a threat, so it sounded good in my book.

It wasn’t like doing a few little things here and there to improve Roseanne’s plans wouldn’t backfire on me… right?

Please, tell me that I’m right.

…

Cellphone-chan looked at me and looked at the wailing crowds lining the streets, as I made my exit from their lands. The Dragon seemed outright disturbed at the sight of so many Kindred crying at the fact that I was leaving their land, despite the fact I came here, killed their leaders, and changed their lives while not taking no for an answer.

They should’ve hated me, but the wagon I was on was getting panties, bras, and whole outfits thrown onto it as I left.

“Roseanne’s can do the same by making her reforms more suited for each territory.” I did nothing new. In Ylstu, I made sure to accommodate my people’s demographics as well as I could. I gave the right job and right living space to each person, while giving everyone decent amounts of rights and the services that they deserved for being taxed. So, I did what I could here, and the result was a parade upon my departure with falling panties replacing flower petals. “Anyone could do this. Trust me.”

Cellphone-chan kept staring at the long procession of gathered, grateful People, so Ur decided to speak up.

“My Chieftain, you’ve made this land beholden to you in less than a month. Not many could do the same in the same amount of time.” Ur seemed proud to say that, even though she glared at any piece of underwear that made it on the open carriage. Cellphone-chan dumbly nodded at her words, as if trusting my Amazon bodyguard to speak in her stead. “Until another manages to do the same in the same amount of time, this occurrence will be considered unrivaled.”

“So, rival me already! This is just what happens when you don’t use a hammer to try and solve every problem.” A lot of Kindred took on the Empire’s way of doing things. They emulated the superior civilization as much as they could and didn’t do much alter things for each species. It worked for them, so they didn’t see any reason to change, and just considered those born into peasantry to be out of luck. The nobility had all the power. Naturally, being given rights made the common folk happy. “Look, Roseanne’s people all over the continent just needs to start working with the people. Have them see themselves as Roseanne’s citizens, instead of some noble’s peasants, and you’ll get these same results or better.”

“What could be better than entire territories of Kindred willing to fight and die for you?” Cellphone-chan turned to me after my statement. Her eyes were wide and her shock at my words was apparent. She gestured to the hundreds of Kindred at the streets clapping, cheering, and beginning me to stay. “Look at them! In less than a month, you’ve turned an entire region’s people yours! They’ll never accept anyone but you as a leader.”

“Unless my chieftain tells them to, which he has.”

“That’s even worse!” Cellphone-chan put her head in her hands after Ur’s statement. I frowned and looked over the people gathered to see me off. Was it really that bad? Didn’t all Kindred just act like this to any man with any ounce of power? This always happened when I was in Ylstu. Every-time I came home and left, Ylstu was celebrating, so I thought that it a Kindred thing. “Do you expect me to believe that you didn’t plan this? That you didn’t wish to make their place yours and continue to grow your power!?”

“Well, I didn’t plan on doing it, and I don’t want to have any more responsibilities than I already have, so yes.” I gave a grunt as the wagon stopped. I had a clearing made outside of the town to facilitate the landing of my ships. Ur disembarked and was greeted by the Amazons at the ship guarding the way, before nodding my way. I followed her and was hit with a wall of sound, as Cellphone-chan followed after me and levelled a disbelieving glare in my direction. “Look, I’m leaving this place and never coming back. I don’t ever want to come back here and that’s that. I came here to kill some sluts who got my soldiers killed, and help Roseanne’s plans out, and that’s it.”

“And, the result of that simple plan is an entire region dedicated to following your words and teachings? Whole villages making a pilgrimage to see you leave?”

“Well, when you say it like that, I feel like a liar too. But is it my fault that people here were treated like shit?” I grumbled as I walked up the ramp towards my ship. I’d given most of my soldiers simple jobs, while I was here. I strengthened the border, killed some bandits, and had all the looters killed, while giving back stolen goods to the people. My soldiers were well-paid professionals, so they got more out of being looked at as good guys than missing out on an extra payday. The wonders of not treating your soldiers like disposable garbage were amazing. “I gave them what I think people deserve for paying their taxes. That’s it.”

I didn’t make the place a military, cultural, or economic powerhouse. That would’ve given me competition overall and I hated competition. My changes to this place was giving them some autonomy, giving them back their shit, and ensuring that they didn’t have to worry about getting killed by bandits. Honestly, the fact that they were so happy with me was more because how shit they were treated than anything else. This wouldn’t happen over in the valley owned by the Kurama clan.

“Look, instead of thinking about how I’m destabilizing things again, just see this gets more power for Roseanne. If she does the same to other places with people that are being treated like dogshit, then she’ll be able to gain more power.” I spun the situation as well as I could, while Cellphone-chan followed me onto my ship. The people holding the perimeter returned to the ship in an orderly manner and we began to lift off. The crowd was quick to fill in the landing area thereafter. A few people in the crowd were crying and I didn’t know what to do about that. “She could have you, or any of the Royal Guard, be the muscle that saves other Kindred from stupid, oppressive nobles and she’ll get the credit for being their saviors.”

“Oh, could we? With what fleet? With which excellent administrators? With what personal fame and legend?” Cellphone-chan asked, as she looked over the town we were leaving. “You say that we can do the same, but none of us are as capable, suited for, or as perfectly equipped as you for this task, Hikigaya Hachiman.”

Thankfully, I had an answer for that.

“Then, get capable, get suited for, and get perfectly equipped for it. Expand your numbers, get shit done, and do more than sit around! The paths’ there, just follow it, instead of complaining!” My words got a look of astonishment from Roseanne’s captain, but I didn’t let her defend herself. “I amassed all of this in just a few seasons. Two years max. You have Roseanne backing you, dozens of Dragons, and a better start that I could’ve ever had. Just put your nose to the grindstone, get achievements, and work until you can do the same… and you’ll do it better than me!”

With those words, I left Roseanne’s captain to hopefully start working on her concerns about me getting too powerful by becoming more powerful herself.

I was just doing my job well.

That shouldn’t keep getting me put in the crosshairs as a subordinate too powerful and influential to be allowed to live.

I heard about getting more work as a reward for working hard, but it’s just ludicrous that I’d get punished for doing my job well!