DxD: Celeste 6

DxD: Celeste 6

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Commissioned by Althero and Chaosbrain

Wordcount: 2000

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Seeing as there were a lot of humans present in this world, and the fact that humanity needed every advantage it could get, I went ahead and tried to make some Woden’s Blood to try and even the playing field.

Key word: tried.

“Well, that’s what it should be if you put all the chemicals together, boiled it to heck, and let it ferment.” Woden’s Blood was a substance that came from fermenting a series of chemicals together under high heat. I knew the exact formula because of my position as double-secret spymaster for a while, but I’d never made it myself in my tenure. It was supposed to be a hidden, secret weapon if I had to secret away human survivors to some faraway world and give them a leg up. All those survivors would’ve had Battleship potential and theoretically the following generations would’ve given humanity the edge it needed to hold its own against anything. “Nothing besides a smelly, poisonous goop.”

There’d been a lot of questions as to how Woden’s Blood worked back in my dimension, but now it was clear that it had something to do with reality being messed with. The best guess that I had was there was some sort of arcane spell cast into the fabric or reality, like some sort of code inscribed into existence, that let the reaction that made Woden’s Blood occur. Instead of being a substance, it was more of a thing that got summoned with information and catalysts inside it designed to upgrade hosts.

It was pretty neat, so I’ll steal the idea for later, but for now I had other things to do.

I brought up my pseudo-communicator, got disgusted with the fact I had to touch buttons and stuff for a bit, and called Azazel for the most important part of my day.

“Yo, I’m done with my stuff for the morning. What do you want for lunch?”

“If I say I don’t want to go to the world’s most expensive buffet, which you had to reserve seats for weeks for, will you listen?”

“No.”

“Well, then, I guess I’d like to go to the world’s most expensive buffet, then.”

“Good. Get dressed and let’s go.”

“Are you bringing a date or the only mortal I’ve met as horny as a freshly Fallen angel?”

Huh, good question, but I knew the answer already.

“Hah, as if I’d pig out in front of someone I’m interested in! Of course, I’m bringing Issei!”

So, after discovering an incredible secret that suggested something or someone in my home dimension had the ability to carve something into reality itself, I decided to go for lunch.

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I was familiar with a lot of the finer foods in existence. Back home some of the ultra-rich just couldn’t live without their fancy stuff, even with the world falling apart around them, and they secured what they could. Some things, like truffles, I could just read about since nuclear winter pretty much fucked their lifecycle, but things like foie gras, caviar, and select plants continued to be cultivated in lab-farms funded by the rich. It was taxed to hell and back, but the profits were high, and the workers made a lot of money, so Creighton reaped the benefits out of the little ventures used by the ultra-rich to show off their “power.”

As if being able to eat some fatty liver meant you were anywhere close to true power, but the economy needed drivers, and so it was allowed.

Still, there were a lot of things that I could never try because of immense, ecological breakdown all over the world.

Wild-caught, and freshly-prepared sashimi, different varieties of oysters, seasonal delicacies the world over, whole-roasted animals, and other such things. I’d read about them, Creighton told me stories, and the previous generation lamented the fact that we never had the change to get them… so for the sake of my family, friends, and colleagues back home, I went ahead and did my best to eat for their sake and enjoy myself.

Even if Hyoudou looked like he was going to explode as the rest of the very fancy venue stared at our table like we were freaks.

“Celeste-san, please, can I go home?” Hyoudou was unused to the prestige and pomp of the place. His eyes nearly popped out of his skull when he recognized a few movie stars present at the hotel’s lobby and he nearly had a heart attack when I told him that the nearest table to us was an actual princess. To me and Azazel, everyone here was just humans with money and influence amongst other humans. Their reactions to us barely mattered. It was different for Issei, even though he was closer to us than anyone else present. “I don’t think I’m cut out for this sort of thing?”

I was busy with my fifth plate of a whole-roasted pig with a side of Beef Wellington, the whole Wellington that is, so Azazel decided to speak up. My kid from this dimension was taking things slow and pretending not to enjoy himself, even though he was on his second bottle of century-old cognac worth as much as a mid-range sedan, while picking at his third perfectly-cooked steak and duck-fat frites.

“Think of it as training, kid. You need tough skin, if you’re going to live amongst humans with a harem.” Azazel had the right of it. The amount of shit Hyoudou was going to get for his dreams was immense. It was unlikely that he was going to live anywhere close to a normal life. “If you can’t handle this, it’ll spill over to your kids and the people you love. That’ll break everything you love apart quick.”

Human society here wasn’t as open with relationships, probably because there was a lot of them and they didn’t have extinction looming in the back of their brain. If a man or woman could pull that stuff off back home, they’d get applause, if they did it right and wasn’t just fucking around and abandoning kids. If you supported your family, if you didn’t do shady shit and everyone consented, then society had your back simple as that. Here in this dimension, a lot of the cultural rules and beliefs that fell apart in the face of possible extinction was still present and in full force, and I had no intention of culturally shaping humanity.

I learned my lesson about that a long time ago.

Human’s will shape their futures on their own.

Besides, if I tried, Song will probably reach through dimensions and give me a very, very firm talking to… hm… maybe I should?

It sounds like a quick way back home to be perfectly honest.

I finished my plate and offered my two cents.

“If you’re that sensitive, you just need to get strong and famous enough so that these guys won’t mess with you.” That was how Li did it. He was nice about he did it, too. He could’ve been the barbarian king out of the wasteland out to take everything he wanted and no one could’ve stopped him, especially if he stuck around there and kept training until he unlocked his full potential. I thought the Li I knew playing the barbarian warlord would be hot, but we’d have been enemies if he tried to do that shit without his conscience or morality as a completely different person. Yeah, it’s real lucky the Tuzi found him. “Don’t worry about going mad with power thought, I’ll slap you down if it comes to that. I’m sure you’ll stay on the straight and narrow, but I’ll be there just in case.”

Hyoudou brightened at my words immediately.

“R-really? Thanks!” The earnest gratitude got me feeling warm and fuzzy inside, like I was being a good teacher. Azazel noticed and rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide his little smirk from me. He knew that I was doing a good job. “I was worried I’d have to do everything myself, but I can learn slowly with your help!”

I nodded at that and gave the manager approaching our table a fat wad of cash, easily five thousand dollars, and he turned on his heel instead of asking us to go away. My companies and predictions were paying off very well. Being able to design incredible computers that beat everything on the market was letting me reach stupid amounts of money, to the point that I was considering opening up a few factories all over the world. China looked like a pretty good place to influence with money and programs, but I was wary about the potential emergency of Chimera still, since I was a few decades in the past.

If I just moved through dimensions, I wouldn’t hesitate, but the temporal difference had me being more careful.

But back to addressing Hyoudou’s concerns.

I relayed to him the things Li and Val both wished someone told them.

“You’re not alone. Not everything’s your responsibility. Hell, if you want, you can just turn your brain off, train, and fight people I tell you to until they’re unconscious. I’ve always planned on keeping you out of any rougher business.” That surprised Azazel, until I glanced towards Hyoudou again. The increase in height and musculature aside, he was still a kid in his second year of highschool. He had a god-killing weapon in his arm, but he was still a kid. “Look, we’re both old farts, but we’ve figured how to do things after a while and we’re not interested in letting things get worse. You can count on us to not fuck up and leave you to sink and swim, even with all the power you’re getting, kid.”

Unsurpsingly, the advice I got from the two biggest workaholics I knew resonated with Hyoudou and his shoulders slumped with relief as a smile spread across his face… as he suddenly stood up.

“Then… I’m going to eat everything I can eat here!” The kid outright yelled it for everyone to hear, drawing more stares and muttering from the elite. He shivered a bit, and looked to me for help, and straightened his back when I nodded at him. The next second he was running full tilt towards the buffet with waiters ready to assist him with carts under the direction of the manager who met my eyes and gave me a bow across from the room. “Thanks, Cel-san!”

I laughed a little at the nickname, as I watched the kid go, before turning my gaze on the other tables with just a teensy-weensy amount of my irritation at them leaking through.

A lot of the regular, normal humans went stiff and a little pale when our gazes met, but they went quiet and went back to just eating and minding their own business after that.

Azazel cleared his throat and attracted my attention with the slightest of pouts.

“You know, if you treated us anywhere close to that, the Fallen literally wouldn’t exist.”

“Hindsight’s a bitch, dying really clears the mind, and getting a great childhood in a society that isn’t shit helps. Remember, I started existing when human tribes were just figuring out not to eat other human tribes.”

“Hmph, so I should just be happy you’re not a bastard with a stick up his ass anymore?”

“Relax, kid, I was making amends back home and I’ll make amends here.”

Azazel raised an eyebrow at my statement, especially as I didn’t elaborate and chose to finish my plate so I can start working on the main course, but I didn’t elaborate.

I still needed more time to get things in motion, before I handled my mistakes in this dimension.

When that time comes, I’ll elaborate.

Preferably to Azazel while he goes slack-jawed and while I pop some champagne.

Yeah, it’s going to be a pretty big deal.