Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 98

Unfortunately, I’m Not A Hero 98

…

Commissioned by Shaderic

Wordcount: 2500

…

I wanted to go back aboard my ship and not deal with people anymore.

In the diplomatic port, I was able to avoid a lot of unnecessary things. Kurama took care of everything. My sole purpose was to make decisions, while entrusting the footwork and schmoozing to Kurama. If she needed anything to get her job done, I’ll do my best to see it happen, but did nothing besides that.

In Mekh’s town, it was another story.

There was an event every day because Mekh wanted there to be. He set up a year of festivals and opened his treasury after our meeting. He called for festivals to show off the offerings of the Pharaohs, military parades to show off their strength, and commissioned artists to make sculptures and works of art for me to pick from and bring home.

I’d normally just be embarrassed by the extravagance, but I found myself mortified as the Pharaoh didn’t hesitate to ask for my presence every day and insist on it.

Meaning that I couldn’t just hole up in my room and let Kurama deal with it.

I had to actually spend time with people, interact with them during events, and be a diplomatic envoy of the Demon Lord.

It was hard work that I wanted finished after the first day… even if talking to Mekh was proving to be enlightening.

I appreciated his company more than I thought I would, but I would’ve vastly preferred to just talk to him alone over a lunch.

However, he was doing everything in order to harass and bully me.

How did I know that?

Because he told me when I asked with the biggest grin on his smug face.

The man was a brat.

…

We passed by a golden statue of Mekh five meters tall covered in rubies.

“Boring.”

We passed by a chariot with flaming wheels and pulled by skeleton horses.

“Outdated.”

We passed by a Mummy on a stage who was casting spells from inscriptions on her bandages.

“Derivative.”

Mekh sighed as his boat floated through the street. His words were being drowned out by the crowd as we passed on the main street just out of reach of the masses enjoying the festival. Most of the stands and stalls were being crowded with people and he gave each one a glance and his own rating as we moved through it all.

“I warned them all of this when we cast our magic millennia ago. I told them that if we were to become immortal that we would all need to take upon ourselves greater responsibility and greater challenges. That we couldn’t simply lavish ourselves with praise and do more than what is necessary.” Mekh complained. One or two of his guards, Mummies armed to the teeth with magical weapons and covered in golden, enchanted armor, winced at his words. Most of them just nodded. They were the older ones. “Now the lands of the Pharaohs are stagnant… with those who wish to oppose the current regime forced to take up the banner of revolution. The Apophis would’ve never come to be, if we granted them an outlet for their pride and glory.”

“Sending young people out to die so that they don’t cause trouble… that’s pretty derivative itself, don’t ya think?” I leaned against my fist as I did my best to be comfortable on the chair beside the white-haired, tanned, and toned Shota still wearing far too little. Mekh laughed at my words, even though it wasn’t a joke. “Do you expect me to believe that a powerful country with infinite lives and resources would’ve been content to just be glorious guardians of the world’s peace and safety? Yeah, I don’t believe you.”

“True, true. I’m sure that many of the Apophis would’ve altered our goals over the millennia. They would’ve surely set forth to enslave all for their wars regardless… but the Pharaohs would’ve opposed them then as well.” Mekh accepted a dish from his guards, which was flown up from the ground below. He considered the plate of fried bread with some curiosity and deigned to take a bite. The single nod of approval he gave probably altered the baker’s life forever, but we just moved on without a word. “That would’ve given our society friction. We would’ve seen ourselves as rivals. We would’ve risen beyond the stagnant sands we now lie in.”

“Well, as far as I’m concerned, your country was better off going stagnant than possibly going out and enslaving the rest of the world.” I gave my piece on the matter with a shrug. It was the truth. “The risk might’ve been small, but it was still there. Your Pharaohs are getting pretty fucked now too, so the Apophis could’ve definitely won.”

Mekh tilted his head to the side and glanced at me after I said my piece.

“You would praise this stagnant society for doing nothing? You won’t even entertain the possibility that the Pharaohs could’ve done good for the world, since it risked the Apophis coming to power sooner?”

“Yes. I would. There’s more to life than excitement. Your people aren’t exactly dying or miserable, y’know? The Apophis are trying to fight you now, but the past centuries were still peaceful… not just for you, but for the entire world.” I would never make a society like the Pharaohs did, but I wasn’t going to deny the fact that it appealed to a lot of people and gave them better lives. This was a life that I could see a lot people enjoying. Dreaming fantasies, eating, and picking up a hobby with nothing else necessary unless you wanted more. “You think this is stagnant and boring, but it’s a lot better than what a lot of other people have. It’s selfish to want to take this all way from the people and force them to be a part of your personal crusade.”

Ripping people from pleasant lives to fight in wars for the greater good.

It was pretty damn close to what the Empire was doing.

I’m sure that a lot of people would have opinions on whether the government can force a nation to fight across the world for its ideals. Some would say that with great power comes the responsibility to use it properly, while ignoring the fact that people are shit and can’t usually be trusted to the right thing and that everyone has different opinions on everything. My own personal vendetta on the Empire had me paying for a professional army from my citizen’s taxes, but they weren’t complaining because I was showering them with creature comforts and wages fantastical for the time.

But I had no doubt that the next generation that grew from Ylstu was going to have a lot to say about their taxes being spent on my personal vendetta. They’d probably be just content to strengthen the border and surgically take the Empire’s fighting ability apart, instead of ripping through it like a chainsaw, salting the earth, and making sure that history forgot that it existed.

The reasonable course of action.

Yeah, I had a pretty limited timeframe in my Empire destruction plan. While I’d like to lay down the groundwork and just leave it to the next generation, the next generation of Ylstu was going to be intelligent and capable people who had higher expectations for their quality of life. If Roseanne’s plans to blow the Empire apart didn’t bear fruit, I’d have a few decades at best to set something up before annoying, socially-adept citizenry started asking questions.

In short, I was aware that I was being a hypocrite for saying that the Mekh was a dick for wanting to rip his people out of luxury and make them guardians of the entire world. However, the difference between his vision and mine was that I was fine with just wiping out the Empire, while he planned for his entire civilization to be immortal guardians of truth and justice.

One’s just a regular’s guy’s ambitions, while the other’s was a scheme towards perpetual war for the sake of justice.

My goals were compact, efficient, and had a timeframe, while he had a vision that would condemn generations of people to a life of violence and conflict.

I was looking to stop generations of violence and conflict.

Therefore, even if I was being a hypocrite, I was still right.

While I was self-rationalizing, Mekh was silent upon his throne… until a low laugh left his lips.

“So, what do you suggest I do instead of laze about mindlessly in my throne barely doing anything?”

Thankfully, I had an answer for that.

“Research. Go out on expeditions. Advance and get richer. Set up trade routes of your own. Become more than everyone else and make sure they can’t fuck you over.” Growth that came from within was difficult. People were lazy and would always be content if given the chance. Without laws and standards, society would be nothing more than people doing the bare minimum to get what they want. Thankfully, being an unelected leader had some benefits. “Push your people yourself. Grow stronger. Make everyone else start running after you. Leave them behind if they’re not good enough. Shut them up if they complain. Take in the ones willing to work their asses off.”

Mekh spoke coldly after my serious of statements.

“Are you implying that I am at fault for my lack of satisfaction with this immortal civilization, Hikigaya Hachiman? That I should’ve done more… myself?”

Mekh was a powerful ally with incredible wealth and influence who I was praised for gaining by just about everyone in my retinue.

So, I didn’t lie to him.

“Obviously.”

A silence befell the ship for a bit and I became aware of the fact that many of Mekh’s guards were suddenly itching to use their weapons… until he levelled his golden glare upon them and stopped them.

Then, he looked to me.

“What do you suggest I do first, Hikigaya Hachiman, Hand of the Demon Lord?”

The envy on my title was palpable and the offer was blatant, but I ignored it.

I just couldn’t work under someone who flashes his dick without a care in the world.

My standards were pretty low, but I wasn’t that desperate.

…

Tanis’s brow was furrowed as she looked upon the tablet that Kurama handed her.

I was lounging and minding my own business when she suddenly settled on her tail and spoke to me.

“We can’t take the Pharaoh’s gifts without destroying the Kindred’s economy.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Mekh had promised a lot of gifts. Typically, I liked taking free stuff. However, his gifts were from a society that didn’t understand scarcity and had an untiring workforce. I could store away some of the treasure for a rainy day, but too much treasure was a massive issue. “How much can we handle without crashing the market?”

“Half.”

“Then, it looks like the rest of it’s going to be used here.” I sat up and one of the Kunoichi slipped out from under the sofa’s legs and gave me a cool, refreshing beverage. I didn’t know where she got it, or where the body-paint clad girl went, but I accepted the drink. “Is it worth anything in the local markets?”

“Pharaoh Mekh made sure to give us things special to his region. They are of great worth to many Pharaohs. I think it would be prudent to use it all here, in fact.” Tanis wasn’t hesitant to offer her advice on financial matters. Given her extensive experience, and the fact that I taught her most of what she knew, I didn’t hesitate to rely on her. “The issue lies with the fact that doing so would might anger him. The texts say that Pharaohs cursed those who misuse the gifts given to them.”

“Then, we’d be morons not to use them to get closer the other Pharaohs, because that’s probably what Mekh wants.” Tanis tilted her head at my words. Her amethyst eyes narrowed in confusion at my words, and she brushed a lock of straight, white hair away from her face and behind her ear to look at me with a questioning frown. “It’s only worth money if we take it back. We spend it here and the other Pharaohs knows he stands with us and we get what we want. That’s a better use for the gift.”

Tanis was taken aback by my words and she frowned at herself.

“That… that’s not in any of the books we were provided regarding the Pharaohs.”

“Yeah, it’s not. It’s what I know about Mekh after nearly a week of him dragging me around beside him.” I finished my glass and moved to place it on the seat next to me. It vanished the moment it left my hands. I could only hope that it was taken away to be washed, instead of becoming part of a shrine or something just as unsettling. “Don’t worry. No one else would’ve understood. Well, except maybe A’Bel, but she wouldn’t have told anyone.”

Shaking my head, at how worried the Lamia suddenly was, I took a good, long look at her. The Lamia was clad in one of the silk, flowing dresses that was fashioned to make her look divine. It was a lot of near-transparent silk and jewelry. She’d looked out of place in it when she first wore it, but she moved more naturally in it now.

Good for her.

Office ladies were girls too and all that.

…Yeah, Hiratsuka-sensei would’ve definitely murdered me for that particular phrase.

“It’s not something you should be worried about. You’re doing fine.” I got up and thought about what I had to do next. Another dinner was fast approaching, so I had some time to walk around. I was set to go, until Tanis took hold of my sleeve. “Hm?”

“I want to help more, so I would like to come along with you on your walk.” The words were professional, but Tanis was lightly blushing at her admission. For a second, I thought that she’d flash me or do something lewd. Nothing happened and all I had was an employee who wanted to do her job right. Amazing. “Please tell me more about Mekh, so that I can make the correct decisions in my duty.”

“Alright, come along.” I accepted her offer without a second thought and Tanis nodded and smiled. She pulled out a little notebook from the satchel hidden by the back of her skirt and prepared to write. “Be sure to listen carefully. I’m tired from talking to Mekh so much, so I don’t want to repeat myself.”

“Understood, Hachiman-sama!”

With that declaration, Tanis followed me to my walk in Mekh’s palace where I could freely speak to her without worrying about anything else.

Naturally, I was very wrong about that.