Misty Moss

boobvoyage self portrait session

Added 2021-12-30 20:01:00 +0000 UTC

sometimes self portrait sessions feel like flying – like everything is aligning and I am documenting my true self.

this self portrait session was not one of those sessions.

every shot felt like wading through mud. the light was setting frantically quickly, my body was sore, my mental health was shit. I remember crying at least twice out of frustration and exasperation. I remember hating the way my chest looked - even though I specifically set out to photograph it in both "flattering" and realistic ways to remember and document this body before my surgery. I struggled to make peach with my inner world and my outer world.

it took me the greater part of a month to finish editing these because they are hard to look at. my toolkit in self care is large enough now that I can still approach them through a lens of body neutrality - but I can see my state of mind and exhaustion reflected in my eyes. that takes a lot more work to get past.

I struggled to view these photos because I wanted to love them - but I just didn't. I don't.

Some of them I am learning to love, slowly. The more you view an image the more you can fall in love with the person documented within it. The more you view it and sit with it, the easier it becomes to see the image as a whole, instead of the negativity bias we project onto it. It's what I tell my clients who feel similar during their reveal session. And it's something I actively practice and remind myself when doing self portraits. It's a huge reason why self portraits are SO important as a photographer. You need to sit with these feelings and get familiar with how it feels to want to love an image, of seeing the IMAGE as beautiful, but struggling to see your self within that image as beautiful. It takes time. Patience. Work. Of putting the images away, or looking at them in little batches of time. The more you sit with the feelings, the easier they are to wade through and make peace with. The easier it becomes to love the human you captured. xx