I know I'm getting pretty fat now. I see the little signs all the time. I love noticing more of my thighs rubbing together when I walk. I love retiring shirt after shirt after eating my way out.
Often something new will happen, like ripping a pair of pants because I'm too fat for them. In those moments I think, "okay, I'm for real fat now."
But seeing myself blimped so fucking WIDE, gut spilling into my lap, unable to even stand up straight on my own, made me feel BIG. That "holy shit I am BIG" feeling makes me want to get even fatter. Playing with my poor tight belly turned me on enough to get me to finish multiple bags of fast food. Poking and jiggling myself to get the last sips of melted ice cream in. I was so hungry to be bigger and fuller and tighter.