Life Update

(This update is being posted on both dA and Patreon)

Hello, KAIZA here.

It’s definitely been a while, and it’s probably best I explain where I’ve been the last couple months.

I took on a hiatus for a couple reasons. The first one was that I was feeling overwhelmed by the backlog of work I had coupled with mounting debts and family pressure. The stress from it all caused me to have a few anxious breakdowns, which is why I decided to pause the Patreon billing for a bit while I tried to get things together and work on my life’s issues.

The main issue being the debt I had. Thanks to an anonymous commissioner, I was able to pay it off, but the trade off was that I had a very large workload added (five 7-step sequences), and unfortunately for me, the person requested the commissions remain private. This basically means I cannot stream the commission as I work on them, nor post any progress or even the finalized piece (outside of a few very limited exceptions like the Patreon Discord server). And because of the circumstances of time and money, I have had to give priority to working on these pretty much every day.

Of course, this brings me to now, and why I’m reopening the Patreon. Well, the short and honest answer…because I need to. Even though I managed to pay off my debt, I still have bills to pay every month, and I can’t just stave it off. Plus my family already keeps close watch of my budget. Of course, with my current commission backlog, I absolutely refuse to take on new commissions for the time being (partly out of practicality, partly out of principle, majorly due to guilt and anxiety). As such, I’m only left with the Patreon as an option…and that’s where we are now.

Obviously, my main goal right now is to finish the backlog. Both commissions and Patreon pieces, plus other works in the pipeline. I’m working on managing my schedule so I can comfortably work on everything, a bit at a time every day, hopefully to avoid burnout. But ultimately, what I want to do is to give to all of you what is due. The last thing I want is to let everyone down, and hell, I feel I have already. I have felt that several times. How I’ve handled things has been unacceptable in my eyes, and I don’t know how to repair and earn back the trust you had in me. The only thing I can do is keep moving forward and continue working. No other way about it.

So…that’s pretty much everything. I apologize to everyone for the radio silence; I felt both scared and ashamed of speaking up about the situation, especially since I didn’t want to sound like I was making excuses. If possible, I’d like to hear your thoughts. All of you. What you feel I should do, what you want me to do moving forward, and for my Patrons, what you would like to see from me to make up for the lost time and this upcoming month.

Thank you all for your patience and support, I…genuinely cannot repay you all enough.