Hebert Disassembly Services Chapter 13: Introspection///

<<<Designation: T/Taylor Hebert/Absolute>>>

“Why was I all blushy like that!?” Taylor thought desperately to herself, “I was straight before this! I know I was because otherwise I’d have been attracted to Emma, and I wasn’t!”

[That Is JCJensen In SPAAAAACCCCCEEEEEEs’ Fault.]
[It Is A. Part Of Drone Design. And OS.]

“That is absolute bullshit, god damn perverts…” Though instead of going on about her forcibly adjusted sexuality, she instead considered the interview. Which she felt was a great success, though she wondered whether the rest of the Undersiders would eventually join.

Grue, Hellhound (though she preferred Bitch, according to Lisa), and Regent, according to the scant files she could access. Hit-and-run and Escape specialists, a majority of their crimes are minor (curiously, they targeted other gangs mainly). However, Hellhound did have a murder charge along with a few assault charges for attacking people walking their dogs.

And though she was no investigator, the murder charge looked very… flimsy. Hellhound might have been the first victim of the Master Scare (which wasn’t really much of a ‘Scare’ when some Masters were legit terrifying). Though she hoped that someone properly investigated it, it’d probably make her easier to turn.

Though, according to the files, she understood dogs more than people? 

“Lisa was very nervous,” Taylor noted aloud, “But I don’t think that’s a unique observation. She’s more scared of the person that convinced her to ‘go legit’ than of me, but… It’s not far off, I think.” Her adrenaline spiked hard on seeing her, at any rate. “But I don’t think she’ll betray us.”

Armsmaster was free to disagree, of course, but that wasn’t who she was talking to at that moment anyway. Dragon was, and she was analyzing much the same stuff Taylor was.

If anything, it was possible that once she aged out of the Wards, she’d either leave entirely or maybe seek a different position in the Protectorate. Well, if the thinktank Watchdog didn’t snatch her up, that is. Though she herself hadn’t heard many good things about Watchdog.

But that was largely due to how vague and inconsistent Thinker powers could be.

Shaking her head once more, she decided to occupy herself with some busy work, due to the Endbringer fight, she was taken off the patrol schedule. Clockblocker was on the comms for… one reason or another. And after checking, Vista, Gallant, and Aegis were out on patrol.

Kid Win was in his part of the workshop building something; thankfully, Taylor managed to get a private lab, as Kid Win had accidentally used Tessa’s unfinished body for spare parts, which set her back a few days.

Taylor hit him with the Disappointed Look, one her own mom had perfected. It was super effective against students and even fellow educators! When she told Dad about that, he had this wistful look as he laughed.

“Like mother, like daughter,” He teased her over dinner.

“Heavy thoughts?” Tessa asked, her head set up on a hoverpad which Kid Win made in apology for using her body as parts.

“No,” Taylor replied truthfully, “Just a lot of them. And I’m bored. Dragon left a minor fork here, but it can only take in information; not talk back. Side tangent, did you know all drones were bi? At least the female ones.”

“Me mum and dad were CEOs. I didn’t know specifically, but I’m not really surprised,” Tessa admitted.

“Yeah, I didn’t expect to get blushy and stammery because a former supervillain joked that she’d kiss me if I made some painkillers for her,” She continued, shaking her head, still stunned by the idea.

“Well, the blonde bird is a pretty one,” Tessa commented with a teasing smile, “Maybe you should try it, you might like it!~”

“You are just as pervy as your parents,” Taylor noted in a deadpan. “Anyway, it’s not just that she was pretty; there was just something that made her words hit me way harder than they should have. Did they turn up hormone responses, too, or something?”

“Never denied it,” Tessa said, “Honestly, when I hit eighteen, I was planning to run away with N, V, J, and Cyn. And honestly, it’s possible, but it’s also possible that you were simply flattered. I mean, who wouldn’t be flattered if a pretty bird like that just kissed you in thanks?” Tessa hummed, “Mentioning Cyn, you know what’s up with her? She hasn’t really been her usual self since you fought the Bin Chicken.”

“Not sure, I think she’s trying to work something out?” Taylor shrugged, “Just give her time, though it’s weird timing. Honestly, I thought she would’ve been angry over losing a meal.” Which still freaked her out somewhat.

How do you respond to the fact that your other half, technically, could eat an Endbringer!?

“Eh, maybe she’s just sulking? Drones do that sometimes, just brood somewhere.” Tessa rolled her head around a bit. “Sometimes in a corner or a dark room alone. Uzi is not uncommon for that bit.”

“Just how human did you make Drones, exactly?” She had schematics for everything but still she had trouble wrapping her mind around some oddities.

“Uh… well, it depends on how old the drone is? They don’t start human, but after a few months they get there,” Tessa replied, “I think they started getting more human to start after JCJensen started selling them as maids, cause all of them were human from the start.”

“That’s kind of reassuring.” Taylor said, “Well, I might as well check the kitchen and see if I can make anything.” Actually, did anyone else even know how to cook?

“Oh, I checked over the schematics Cyn used for ya,” Tessa started, turning herself, “You can eat proper food!”

“That’s a relief,” She said, “Don’t get me wrong, I like batteries, electronics, and the like. But well… I really missed normal food.”

… She had to admit that statement sounded weird even to her own ears, and she was sure Tessa noticed that too if her laugh was anything to go by. Dragon to, who’d just moved a ‘primary’ fork over to talk to Armsmaster and such.

Taylor started looking through the kitchenette before looking at… what was once a stove, but had been stripped of parts by the resident tinker at one point. And apparently no one requisitioned a new stove… or pots and pans…

Taylor sighed as she already started digitally writing up a requisition form for a whole ass kitchen, she realized.

“Goddamn tinkers…” And the irony of her saying that wasn’t lost to her, despite technically not building tinkertech.

“You’re one to talk,” Dragon snarked, “Didn’t you use the blender for Tessa’s neck motor?”

“The irony isn’t lost on me,” Taylor deadpanned, “And besides, that was only a temporary thing. I replaced it a few days ago with a proper motor and servos instead of the makeshift ones.”

“So…” Dragon started, “How did the Endbringer taste?”

“Like Radioactive. Pop Rocks. And Frustration.” Cyn said as she appeared on the counter, kicking her feet, “Kicking. Kicking. How Is. The Blonde Fox. Curious Expression.”

“Dead asleep,” Taylor replied, “Which is a good thing, I’m pretty sure her power is not fun to have.”

“Brain Meats. Are Not Meant. To Process So. Much Information.” Cyn said, “The Fact She. Hasn’t Died From. Massive Brain Hemorrhage. Is Surprising. I Could Fix. Her Though. She Would Be. Happier As A. Drone.”

“Cyn, no. No convincing people to embrace the Purity of Steel,” Dragon quipped, “Unless it’s crippling for her.”

“It’s pretty close,” Taylor replied with a frown, “I’ll bring it up to her later.”

“Maybe It Would. Help Her Overcome. Her Issues Regarding. TMI. Not That I. Blame Her. Organics Are Gross. Why Do You Do That. Deadpan Stare.” Taylor just shook her head.

“I told you,” She said with a sigh. “Seriously, you should turn on your hormone simulator. You might just understand humans better.”

Dragon coughed, “I think she already has. She displays traits common in young girls about to go through puberty…”

“Denial. Organics Are Gross.” Cyn protested, making Taylor smirk as she looked at Cyn.

“So is this like the 'Boys have Cooties' phase?” She teased.

“Exactly the case,” Dragon confirmed with her own giggle.

“Hmm, it’d explain why she’s lacking her usual… well…” Taylor just gestured to Cyn’s everything, making the Drone huff.

“Annoyed. I Just Thought. That Because Tessa. Is Alive I. Should Not Wear. Her Skin. Besides I Missed. Being A Silly. Maid.” Cyn said.

“Emotions themselves are a sign of hormones…” Dragon noted, “So you’re proving the point a bit. Tessa would agree.”

“Yeah. And honestly, good on you girl!” Tessa said, “Next we need to get you a new body, then you’d be all sorts of charming!”

“Cringe. No. I Do Not. Want To Be Charming.” Cyn protested, “I Am The Former. Host of. The Solver Of The Absolute Fabric. The Void. The Exponential End. I Am Terrifying! Pout Grumble.MP3”

“Adorable,” Taylor contributed, her grin wide and ever so slightly evil, “Anyway, does anyone know why Lisa was so scared of me? Aside from the whole… fighting an endbringer, thing. I know I’m intimidating, but not that much so.”

“Well, she could be a robophile and not even realize it, and is intimidated by your good looks?” Tessa offered.

“It’s more likely whoever straightened her out gave her a job, involving you perhaps, and well… I think that explains it really,” Dragon suggested, “But it is possible what Tessa said is right.”

“Mm,” She had more than one problem with the idea that she was good-looking enough to evoke that type of reaction, and not all of it was self-deprecation. “I think Dragon is more likely to be right. Would explain why she was approached specifically, too. Her power is perfect for getting more information, so if she were asked to spy on me…”

“Security Concern? Curious Look.” Cyn tilted her head.

“Maybe, though, as a Ward on probation, she’ll be under a lot of scrutiny.” Dragon said, “Since Shadow Stalker things have been reorganized and so on. So if she is or isn’t, we’ll find out eventually.”

“Even if she is,” Taylor started, “What, exactly, would she be leaking? That my ‘sister’ is an omnicidal maniac sometimes? I think PHO would have a laugh about that.”

“Pout. I Am Not. Omnicidal. Technically.” Cyn said with a huff, making Taylor giggle and Tessa shake her head in amusement.

“And I’m the perfect picture of mental health and clarity," Tessa snarked, “Anyways, what’s got your panties in a twist? You weren’t prone to brooding before.”

“Yeah… Cyn is a bit more of an overdramatic showwoman,” Taylor agreed, nodding, “I think she’s upset that she couldn’t traumatize Ziz.”

“Grumbles. I Was Thinking. About Everything That. Happened.” Cyn said, “From Activating In. The Dump. To Tessa And. Big Brother N Finding Me. To The Gala. And Everything. I Do Not. Like Introspective. Thoughts. They Are Depressing.”

Taylor couldn’t help but feel that was her fault.

“Sorry?” She started, “Did I infect you with my issues or… does it go two ways or something?”

“I Am Not. Entirely Sure.” Cyn said, “I Have Never. Done This Before.  But It Has. Made Me Reevaluate. What I Thought. I Knew. Dot Dot Dot. I Was Under. The Mistaken Impression. That I Was A Puppet. But Now I. Am Not Sure.”

Tessa hummed, bobbing in place a bit. “Well, I can’t really blame ya for, you know, killing my folks. Just kinda wish you gave a heads up first. And waited for it to not be everyone there. And skinning me was a bit much.” Tessa paused for a moment. “I should feel more upset by that than I do, but I guess I was already dead by that point anyway.”

“When You And. Big Brother N. Pulled Me From. The Dump I. Was Already On. The Brink Of. A Psychotic Break. Big Brother N’s. Death. Pushed Me Over. The Edge. The Solver Just. Gave Me A. Little Push. And  Things Snowballed. From There.” Cyn said, “Joker_And_Here_We_Go.MP3.”

“Yeah, really woulda appreciated not bein skinned still,” Tessa said, eyes rolling, “But hey, no one’s perfect! I robbed graves, Dragon did a prison break, and I’m sure Taylor’s done something illegal at some point. Forgive and forget, I say!”

Then she ate another battery.

Taylor felt that Tessa was way too quick to get over that, but maybe it was related to her mental issues? Or it was everyone from that universe that was like that. Uzi got over people around her dying really quickly, too. So did the other worker drones…

Were people from her universe all insane or stupid or something? It would explain more than a few things she’d seen.

“Maybe. But I Do. Not Think That. Big Sister V. Would Forgive Me. Or Uzi Maybe. I Do Not. Know. Shrug.” Cyn said, “So What Are. We Going To. Do Now? Curious Stare.”

“Give them a present,” Tessa said, waving it off, “Uzi likes weapons and edgy things, N likes cute things, V needs new glasses.”

“... Well, on our side,” Dragon started, ignoring the byplay in a way Taylor dearly wished she herself could, “we’re researching ways to damage the core the Endbringer has and finding whoever made or is controlling them. Oh, and the parts needed for your new body will arrive tomorrow, Tessa, so you’ll be able to walk yourself around after that.”

“Right! I mean, I love this hover board thing, but I kinda miss having a proper body,” Tessa said.

“Oh I Know! I Will Compile Some. New Nightcore Songs For Uzi. And Get Big Brother N Some Plushies! And I Will Synthesize A Box Of V’s Prescription!”

Taylor still had trouble wrapping her mind around a robot needing glasses, “Couldn’t you just… fix her eyes?”

“No. I Am Not. The Administrator Anymore. And V Would. Never Trust Me. To Do That.” Cyn said.

“It’s the calibration software that’s off anyway,” Tessa expanded, “The cameras are fine, so to actually fix the problem, you need to dive into her cod,e and that is not an easy thing to learn. I’m pretty sure even Dragon’s code is simpler… except for the bits that her Trigger changed, those are way beyond anything else I’ve seen.”

“Tinkertech Coding Is. Absolute Bullshit And. Illogical. Grumbles. Annoyed Huff.” Cyn said.

“Nah, there’s logic to it, but when you start doing things like trinary math in base sixteen, things get fucky,” Tessa retorted.

“... Changing the subject!” Taylor said, “How about I get us some pizza from the cantina and we watch some of that pirated anime from Uzi’s collection? You wanna join us, Dragon?”

“I’d love to, actually,” Dragon said, “I’ve been testing my abilities to create forks of myself, so… this could be considered a stress test. Though I hope you don’t mind if I watch through your sensors, Taylor, also, I’m curious about ‘taste’ anyway.”

“You want data on how to replicate it for a new body?” Tessa asked, “I can send you what JCJensen has- had on it if you want?”

“If you wouldn’t mind, it’d certainly help,” Dragon said, “I’ve been observing Taylor and Cyn for weeks now, and despite JCJensons… questionable behaviors. The engineering is simply fascinating. The highest quality machinery by the lowest bidder, Capitalism at its finest.”

“Ha! We got ‘lowest bidder’ by scamming the hell out of the government!” Tessa laughed, “But I guess that’s what everyone else was tryna do too.”

“I know what I said,” Dragon replied, sounding painfully amused as they got ready to watch terrible, terrible tv shows.

It was… nice, having friends. Even if two of them were completely insane, Dragon made up for that! Maybe Lisa would join in too?

[hr][/hr][hr][/hr]

Vyor: Being Lisa is suffering. Being Taylor is weird.

Nightmare723764: And Dragon is simply along for the ride! :V