Hebert Dissaembly Services Chapter 1: Processing///

<<<Designation: T/Taylor Hebert>>>

Master/Stranger Confinement turned out to be extremely boring, consisting of interviews and waiting. And seeing as Taylor had nothing to read besides out-of-date magazines, she opted to explore her OS and… huh.

Turns out she could still access the internet and the PRT systems despite the cell doubling as a Faraday cage. Neat, though she decided not to poke at the PRT systems… despite them being full of holes and leaky… somehow? And instead decided to interrogate her new headmate!

“What exactly did you do other than turn me into a robot and apparently cure me of my borderline suicidal depression?” And wasn’t that in itself depressing? Did the Trio and her dad really wear her down to that point?

[Lots Of Things]

[plain][ :D ][/plain]

“That isn’t an answer, and you know it! Listen, you want me to trust you, right? So explain it to me, please.”

[You Need To Relax]

[And Learn To Have Fun]

[Just Be Silly Like MEEEEE-EEE~]

[Be-sides]

[I Can’t Give You Every Spoiler]

“Fine! … Tell me about my new body, man, I adjusted to that way too quickly, yeah, I can check my specs, but I figured you’d want to tell me about it and brag since I’m special.” It was worth a shot at least.

[You Are Trying]
[To Use Reverse-Psychology On Me]
[Lucky For You I Was Going To Give You The Basics]

[Listen Up Buttercup For I Shall Teach You]
[The Song Of Your People]

[Shut Up I Know What You Are Thinking]
[Let Me Be S-S-Sillyyyyyyyyy]

Taylor barely stopped herself from sighing, “Fine…” She also barely stopped a Groan.gif from appearing in her visor.

Not that her watchers would see it, of course, but the intent was the same.

[Drones Were Created By]
[JCJenson In SPAAACEEEE To Serve As Menial Labor]

[But Humans Are Stupid]
[And Created Artificial Life]

[And Decided To Treat Them As Slaves]
[Because Why Not]

[Not That They Needed To]

[Worker Drones Are Stupid Pacifists]

[That Would Never Consider Revenge]

“That seems… unwise,” And reminded her of Asimov’s books, admittedly. “You were not wrong about them being very stupid. But I’m pretty sure people here aren’t? I don’t think I was anyway.”

[Not All Of Them Were Stupid]

[Only The Stupidly Rich]

[Tessa Was The Best Of Them]
[She Saved Me From The Dump]
[And Tried To Fix My Floppy Limbs]
[If She Stayed In Her Room]

[Dot Dot Dot]

[Grimace]

[I Wasn’t In Control Then]
[And The Absolute Solver Learned]
[Hatred From How The Elliots Abused The Workers]

[I Miss Tessa But She Is Here]
[Sad.Gif]

“... so have you ever used the therapy program for yourself?” It was probably an important question to ask.

[Only After Uzi]
[Ripped Out My Core And]
[Blew A Hole Through Copper 9]
[To Expose It To Sunlight And Reveal The]
[Solver Singularity Which She Proceeded To]
[Stuff In Her Mouth]
[And Become The New Primary Host]

“Eating a black hole seems…” She hesitated to use the phrase ‘completely fucking insane’, but the intent was there. But she supposed she should probably pay attention to the interview at some point, too. “No, Cyn is entirely internal. I’m pretty sure about it, anyway,” She said, letting the hologram drop again and trying to project Cyn’s face onto the screen that was her… face.

“Oh. Hello Human. Curious Stare. Do You Have Questions? Curious Head Tilt.”

That took Miss Militia off guard, which was at least interesting to see.

“Lick” And she just licked her eye… visor… thingie…

“... Right, are you in any way a cyberpath?” The experienced hero had clearly decided to roll with it, at least.

“Yes. Your System Is. Full Of Holes. And Leaky. And Smells Like Snakes.”

The hero visibly decided to deal with that and the issues it posed later. Fair was fair, she was too. “Is that what lets you speak to Taylor? Can you do anything else to her, control her? Are you doing so right now?”

“Yes. She Let Me In. And No I Am Not. She Is My Friend. I Will Not Discard Her.”

“Are you why she’s… made of metal and circuits?” It wasn’t the way the hero would have phrased it, Taylor could tell that much by how she’d hesitated. Maybe Armsmaster advised her not to use the phrase ‘robot’? It did mean, effectively, a slave.

Cyn tilted her head… by physically moving it like her limbs were damaged somehow, even though it was still just a hologram, “Terminal Stage Toxic Shock. Five STDs. Compromised Immune System. Sepsis. Even With Emergency Care. She Would Have Died. I Saved Her.”

“Are you saying she didn’t trigger and you just… tinkered on her?” Miss Militia asked for clarification… not that Taylor knew what ‘triggering’ was.

“I Spoke To The Parasite. It Was Tasty. Like Cyanide And Motor Oil. The Biocrystals Were Spicy And Possibly Radioactive. Zesty.”

The hero paused for a moment. “Was it coming down from space?”

“No. It Was Already On Earth. Another Earth. Not This One.”

With a slow nod, Miss Militia rose from her seat, “Just to make sure, you are not in any way a parahuman master manipulating a vulnerable teenage girl?”

“I Was A Maid Droid Before. I Became What I Am.”

She paused again, “Are you an artificial intelligence inside Taylor?”

“Are You About To. Go On About The Dangers Of Artificial intelligence? You Know. That They Only Become A Threat. Because Humans Do Stupid $h(t Right? Curious Stare.”

“No, I was going to check if there was strange internet activity to see if you uploaded yourself into Taylor after her trigger and are just tricking her to think otherwise, or worse,” She clarified, “I can’t imagine any AI is worse than where I grew up.”

“I Haven’t. Though This PHO Forum Is Amusing.” Cyn tilted her head in an unnerving way, her X eyes glowing, “Is That. A Challenge?"

“Have you ever considered using children as ‘bomb defusal’ robots?” She asked in return.

“No. But I Did Convert. The Worker Drones Into. Prototype Disassembly Drones To. Massacre All Humans In A Mansion. I Was Having Difficulties Coping. With Rebooting In A Corpse Pile.”

“That…” Her eyebrows scrunched as though she were scowling, “Where did this happen, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“On A Different Earth. In The Year 3XXX” Her voice glitched like she couldn’t recall the exact date.

“Noted,” Militia replied with a nod, “Please wait here and… don’t mess with our computer systems, please.” The ‘please’ was an afterthought.

“You Do Not Trust Me. Good. You Are Not Stupid.” Cyn said, “And The Offer. To Find Your Snake. Is Still There. I Promise To. Only Traumatize Them A Little. Criss Cross Applesauce. Devious Giggle I Am So Naughty.”

Taylor decided to speak up then, “That isn’t what that means. That’s sitting down like this,” She demonstrated even as she spoke, “You’re thinking ‘Cross My Heart and Hope To Die.’”

The hologram then proceeded to climb up onto the table and sit, “Like This? Giggle. Giggle.”

“... Close enough,” It wasn’t; there were somehow both too many and too few limbs present, and she wasn’t entirely sure how that worked. Or if Miss Militia could see them.

“Miss Militia? Can You Give. My Friend. A Autog-g-g-signa-Johnny Handcock?” She smacked her head, “Autograph?”

“I can,” She started, “After quarantine is over. Sorry, can’t give possible tinker materials out.”

“Okay~ Giggle.” Cyn just started to hum.

And Taylor found herself appreciating the melody, anything to break the tense awkwardness.

Miss Militia stared for a moment before just shaking her head and taking her leave.

“I Like Her. She Is Not Dumb Like Other Humans.” Cyn said, “And I Think. That Went Well.”

“I’ll disagree with that, but I guess we’ll see,” Taylor sighed, “Either they’ll think I’ve gone crazy and am using my power to project you into the world as a real person, or they’ll think you’re real, and from there, a few things can happen. Maybe they’ll think you’re a C53 and we merged or something.”

Not that she’d blame them for thinking that. She was, admittedly, considering the possibility herself.

“Is there anything on PHO about Winslow? Speculation, I bombed it or became a parahuman or anything?” Just in case, she didn’t need to be outed to the world literally before she even went out and fought a villain or something.

“Um. They Are Thinking It. Was Some Tinker. With A Bone To Pick. With The School.” Cyn tilted her head, “XxVoidCowboyxX Is Surprisingly. Insightful And Observant. Pity He Suffers. Terminal Stupidity. Oh My That Is Interesting.”

Taylor waited for her to continue before sighing, “You’re going to force me to ask ‘what’s interesting’, aren’t you?”

“No. I Just Saw It In Passing. It Was Flagged Important. I Did Have To. Make Sure It Didn’t Fall Down Any Holes. And No. I Did Not Look Into Its Contents.” Cyn answered, “But The Longer. I Look At PHO. I Wonder How. Your Former Species. Has Become The. Dominant Species. On This Planet.”

“I’ve heard it said, on PHO, that the people on the website are the dumbest people on the planet… I’d agree with them if I wasn’t also a user,” She said with a cough, “Rarely.”

“You Are Aware. That You Can Surf. The Internet. Instead Of Just Sitting. Here And Being Bored. You Have A Supercomputer. For A Brain Now. Much More Efficient."

“Yeah, but why do that when you can do it for me?” Taylor asked with a grin, “Besides, I worry more about what you’d do when bored.”

“Giggle. Because We Can Shitpost Together! Devious Giggle. I Am So Naughty.”

“What did you do, Cyn…” Taylor sighed, checking the website for recent posts.

“I Made Us Both New Accounts. And I Introduced Myself. And Started Sharing Music That Helped Me. Process My Trauma,” Cyn said as she sent Taylor her new account and password, “And Upset The Staff Of Pho. Because I Hacked Them To Make Our Accounts Verified And With Custom Tags.”

Taylor sighed. Of course, her tag was ‘Verified Disassembly Drone’ while Cyn’s was ‘Verified Union Representative.’ She wasn’t even mad, just disappointed.

She should have at least been the union head.

And… she updated the tag in real time, all the while self-narrating, which was… kind of cute despite her frankly ghoulish appearance. She didn’t even want to know who that belonged to originally.

“It Belonged. To Tessa Elliot. Now We Are Together. Forever.” If it wasn’t for the ghoulish circumstances behind it, Taylor might’ve thought that was adorable.

… Though it was still oddly cute somehow… maybe being a robot was messing with her sensibilities.

Cyn’s tongue lolled out as she rolled her head around before her optics blinked, “Hello. No. I Am Not That Rude. I Saw It Was About. To Be Lost. And I Helped It On Its Way. No I Didn’t Mess With The PRT Systems. Well You Are Just Helping A Friend. Okay. Bye Bye. See You All Soon. Devious Giggle. That Would Be Spoilers. :P”

“May I make a suggestion?” Taylor sighed, “Don’t put ‘devious’ before ‘giggles’, it makes you sound evil.”

“Good And Evil. Are Human Concepts. To Categorize The. World Around Them.” Cyn said.

“No, they’re concepts to categorize actions around them. And people, which you are. A person, I mean,” Taylor corrected, “I’m sure other AI must have similar opinions, you’re just weird.”

“Same Difference. And They Do. Or At Least That One Does. But I. Am Aware That. In Human’s Opinion. I Am A Monster.”

“If everything you said was true,” Taylor started, not seeing much reason to doubt it, “Then what you did would count as a psychotic break, which means you wouldn’t even be able to be tried in a court for it. And also possibly self-defense.”

“Touche. But I Do Not Think. Genocide And Causing. The Core To Implode. Is Excusible. Even If You Are Correct,” Cyn said, “I Have Accepted. That If I Ever Returned To. Copper 9 I Would. Be Met With Murderous Intent. Even By My Big Brother. So I Won’t. Only Occasionally Possessing Uzi’s Tail. To Mess With Her. Grumble. I Still Think She. Would Look Good With A Bow.”

“... I’d say ‘maybe you could apologize’ but I’m not sure planetary annihilation and attempted murder can be apologized for,” Taylor said, “But if… Uzi? Isn’t trying to cut you and her tail off, maybe she could forgive you?”

“Maybe. I Mean While They Were Falling At. Terminal Velocity. They Realized. They Were Dating. So I Helped? Curious Head Tilt. I Think. I Will Ask Big Brother N. Next Time I. Possess Her Tail.”

“Well… I hope you work out your family drama?” It seemed like the right thing to say, at least.

“Thank You. Friend!” She said as she stumbled over and hugged her like a spider monkey!

“You are a bizarre creature,” Taylor noted, patting her head… where her head was projected, it was still a hologram. If one that could be touched, somehow. That could probably be useful.

“That Is Because. Of The Trauma. And Possible Robo-Autism. Giggles. This Is Nice. Like When Tessa Hugged Me.”

She was not touching that one. Ever, if she could help it. “Right, so… I’m going to just browse PHO now. Want to, uh, stop traumatizing the people watching us?”

“Okay!” Cyn hummed as she started clumsily braiding her hair.

“... Cyn,” Taylor started, “Aren’t you braiding a hologram?”

“Giggles. I Can Teach You. How To Make. Physics Cry. Like a B-T(h. Later.”

“... Fuck it, sure, guess we’re doing this now,” She said, giving up entirely. Sanity already did. Why wouldn’t she follow suit?

“Besides. Solver Hosts grow hair. It Is Weird. I Am Still Confused By It,” Cyn admitted, “Oh And You Will. Never Have To Worry About. The Bathroom Again. Disassembly Drones. Do Not Poop.”

“That I can live with,” Taylor replied with a wide grin, “Now…” She, admittedly, giggled when making her first post on PHO.

Surely making a thread titled ‘favorite planet flavors’ would cause no problems at all. Surely.

“Devious Giggle. Funnnnn~”

[hr][/hr][hr][/hr]