Lamia Ex Machina 14

Chapter 14: Internship Talks

<<<Monday>>>

“Only ten seconds, finally you lot are starting to get it.” Aizawa said as he walked to the front of the class, “You all performed adequately in the Sports Festival, even if some of you made a joke of the entire event.” No one had to even guess who that was directed towards, “So here are the results.” He added as he pulled a remote out and clicked it, causing a hidden projector to display the results on the whiteboard.

“Some got more than others however, that doesn’t mean that those not on the board won’t have any internships.” Aizawa continued with something that almost could be mistaken as pride in his voice.

“Shouldn’t Monday and Himiri be on there?” Mina asked, this time not trying to cause mischief or drama but legitimately curious.

“The amount of internship requests you get isn’t the same as your final ranking,” He replied, “The goal was to show off, to impress the pros watching… not whatever it was they were doing.”

Monday coughed, completely unrepentant and not feeling even the slightest bit guilty.

Aizawa just sighed and muttered something unintelligible, “This leads to our next topic. Codenames.” He said seriously, “Out on your internships, you’ll go under your chosen alias. And give this serious thought-”

“Or there’ll be Hell to pay!~” Midnight exclaimed as she interrupted Aizawa, “You could end up with something stupid like Eraser Head!” She added with a laugh, making Aizawa just mutter even more under his breath.

“Midnight will be helping you all with your codenames,” He said as if the sultry Hero didn’t interrupt him, and with his words given, he promptly turned and climbed into his sleeping bag and disappeared under his desk.

“I have mine,” Himari started, “I am Spirit. Short, to the point, neatly obfuscates what I do. Or, rather, it would if my being an AI wasn’t known.”

Midnight seemed to pout faintly. “Fine, just take all the fun out of it,” She said with a huff before strutting up to the front, “Now, since Himari already had her name, let’s move on.”

Monday didn’t really pay much attention to the various names her classmates came up with, some were good, others were bad. And some were just mindbogglingly confusing, namely the French boy’s name. Seriously, what hero has an Entire Fucking Sentence as their name?

Still, it let her focus on figuring out what her code name could be. Schrodinger is already taken… maybe Schrodinger's Catgirl?

“No, that’d still be confusing. Maybe.” Monday thought as she nibbled on her knuckle.

Her quirk was basically “Everywhere and Nowhere” and she thoroughly enjoyed the horror genre, perhaps something relating to that?

Nodding her head, Monday smiled as she wrote down her codename; it didn’t hint at her fondness for horror. But it did accurately describe her abilities, and if you put some thought into it… There was a hint of some horror.

Existential dread, perhaps? Or maybe Cosmic horror… she did, after all, meet a giant spider god in the Between, so maybe?

“Alien Queen!” Mina exclaimed proudly.

“Sorry, but that’s copyrighted,” Midnight said, “Besides, you’re a hero, do you really want your name to be linked to a parasitic alien killing machine?” 

Mina pouted before she sat back down, “How about… Pink Hero: Queen Acid?” Monday offered, wanting to stop anything stupid from coming up.

God forbid Mina be called the Acid Hero: Pinky!

“Oh!  That’s perfect!” Mina cheered, “Thanks, Monday!”

Midnight just smiled and nodded, accepting the name, making the pink teenager cheer again.

“And how about you, Monday?” Midnight asked, leaning forward slightly with a smile that just made Monday’s imagination dive straight into the gutter.

“Oh, er… well, I decided on this!” She stood up and showed her name on the little whiteboard they were all given, “Lady Quantum!”

“Oh, sciency,” Midnight said, “Is it because of your mom’s hero name?”

“Well, initially I thought Schrodiger’s Catgirl but decided against it,” Monday admitted, “And honestly it accurately describes my quirk, I was wanting something more horror-themed but I couldn’t think of anything,” She added with a shrug as she sat back down.

“Not everyone has a quirk that so perfectly fits the name ‘Slasher’ and he’s a villain,” Midnight noted, “... I think he’s still a villain, I know he was arrested years ago. And that’s a villainous name anyway.”

“... Stupid villains ruining all the good horror names…” Monday muttered under her breath, which got a snort from Jiro.

“He is still in jail,” Himari said, “As of this moment, he is one year away from release. For someone named ‘Slasher’ he did not commit many bloody acts. The worst was the assault of a hero with a deadly weapon; it wasn’t attempted murder because the hero was… All Might. Bad luck there. For him, to specify.”

“Moving on!” Midnight called, dragging everything back on track, “Now, Bakugo?”

“Queen Murder Explosion!” Everyone, even Monday, stared.

“Oh, this is going to take a while…” She thought, knowing just how stubborn the explosive girl could be.

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Stretching her arms, she rested her back against the UA gate as she considered her offers, or rather, the lack of them. For a culture that seemed to live and breathe Quirks, Monday would’ve thought they’d appreciate her showing her quirk off. Granted, it made everything trivial, but still, during the one-on-one matches, she showed off her own talents at close combat and clever quirk usage, showing she wasn’t a one-trick pony!

Most of them were from small agencies, not that there was anything wrong with that, though there was one from Mirko of all people, which amounted to wanting to see if she was actually serious about her chosen career or not. It was tempting of course, who wouldn’t want a tan, muscular bunny woman kicking their ass? But for once, she listened to reason and decided against it.

Even with her particular brand of bullshit, she knew without a doubt that the entire week would be nothing but suffering. And she isn’t a masochist.

Honestly, she was considering asking Midnight if she’d mind if she interned with her.

“Maybe I should get Zuku’s opinion on some of these?” She mused as she looked at the small folder with all her offers, it’d be sensible, honestly. Well, her or Himmy, really. Or both.

Humming to herself, she blinked before appearing on Zuku’s bed, her ears twitching as she heard Mamadoriya greeting her daughter. She had a decision to make: snuggle into the bed to jump Zuku as a prank or to walk out like she’d always been there. Both would be funny… but the first might get her punched in the face, which was a convincing argument to not do that…

“... I probably shouldn’t spook someone that can level buildings with a single punch…” Monday muttered with a sigh as she got up and decided to reveal herself.

Zuku blinked as she left the room. “Was… she here the whole time?” She asked, confusion clear on her face.

Inko sighed, “No, no, she hasn’t been. Unless she teleported in hours ago?”

“Actuall,y I just got here,” Monday admitted, “I was going to surprise Zuku, but common sense prevailed.”

“Well… I’ll put on some tea?” Inko offered, “Unless you’re just here to mess with Zuku?”

“Actually, some tea would be lovely. Mamadoriya knows how to make the best tea!” She said cheekily, “But actually, I was wanting her advice on my offers. Seeing as she knows all the Hero trivia.”

“Well, I won’t say I don’t appreciate someone that likes my tea,” Inko replied with a smile, “Have fun with Zuku and don’t do anything I wouldn’t,” She teased as she left.

“Zuku, is your mom a mindreader?” Monday asked.

“No?” She replied with a blink, “Why do you ask?”

“Well, I won’t deny I considered teasing you in ways she wouldn’t want,” She said, “But I think I’ll let Uraraka shoot her shot first.”

“Wait, what do you mean?” Zuku asked, her confusion increasing, “Anyway, who did you get requesting you? I got a bunch, but… All Might suggested I go with his old mentor instead.”

“Here, they’re all in the folder.” Though she did make note that Zuku was oblivious to Uraraka’s crush on her, “I’ll be honest though, I’m considering asking Midnight if she’d be willing to take me as an intern.”

“Why not Mirko?” She asked with a blink, “She’s a top rated hero for a reason! Or the Pussycats? They’re a great team that’s done a lot of good work, rescue heroes primarily… Midnight is a good choice, but I don’t see her name in here? Oh, Crust has a really interesting quirk and is always trying to cheer people up!”

“Wait, the Pussycats?” How the hell did she miss that one, “And honestly with Mirko… something in my bones tells me I’ll regret everything even with my brand of bullshit… but my quirk would be pretty good at rescue wouldn’t it?”

“You could be one of the best at it!” Zuku replied with a smile, “But you might regret working with Mirko for a few days, but I’m sure she could teach you a lot.”

“Has anyone told you, you’re too pure for this world?” Monday asked absentmindedly, “And honestly I think Mirko has a bone to pick with me.”

“If you say so,” she said with a shrug, “Out of these, then, I’d go with the Pussycats.”

“... How much you wanna bet they’ll try to get me to dress like them?” Monday joked with a smile.

“I have been told gambling isn’t very heroic…” She demured, “But I’d say it’s likely.”

“But it is human,” Monday retorted, “Besides, do you really think All Might did make stupid bets when he went to UA?”

Zuku coughed, “Um… he said that he once bet Mirko that he could eat more carrot cakes than her. He lost.” Yeah, that sounded suitably boneheaded right there.

“Do you know who Himari got? She hasn’t told anyone,” Zuku asked after a moment.

“Nope.” Monday said, “Though…” Pulling out her phone she opened in and instead of dialing anything, “Himmy? Who’d you get?”

There… was a ringtone. Her phone was certainly dialing, she just wasn’t the one doing it. “I was wondering when you’d notice I added my number to your contact list. And added a small VI to your phone so that it calls people when you hold your phone up and say their name. How are you doing? I am surprised you didn’t just… teleport over?”

“Oh, well I decided to get Zuku’s input on my offers first, though she asked who you picked,” Monday said, “I’m kind of curious myself honestly.”

“I didn’t get many,” Himari admitted, “But I did get one from a Hero Commission hero member.”

“Oh? Anyone Zuku would know?” She asked before Zuku could.

“Lady Nagant. One of the best snipers in the world, she recently had a minor panic attack at a public event but her record is sound,” Himari explained, “I’m thinking of choosing her for the contact information.”

“Well, if anyone can handle the HPSC it's you,” Monday said, “Though there are a lot of rumors about them.”

“Even should the rumors be true, they can not harm me. At least, not without destroying themselves in the process,” She replied, an audible electronic shrug echoing over the microphone, “And I doubt they are true.”

“Fair enough,” Monday said, “Actually I was wondering if you knew what was up with Ida. He seemed more stiff than usual.” Never mind just having his name as a codename?

“His brother was wounded in a fight against a villain,” Himari replied, “Specifically, the villain Stain.”

“Wounded? With the way he’s been acting you’d think his brother died,” Monday said, “Not to be callous or anything.”

“He’s in critical care, they aren’t sure if he’ll make it; nor if he’ll be able to continue being a hero afterwards. The sword cut deep,” She clarified.

“Ah, that’s more understandable then,” Monday said.

Zuku just looked troubled, “That’s horrible!”

Monday glanced at Zuku, “Now don’t you think you’re a bad friend for not noticing,” She said, “Honestly, with how stiff he is normally he’s got an amazing poker face.” Admittedly, Zuku would know better as she was closer to the guy.

“I wouldn’t have known if I didn’t have a thread watching for events like these,” Himari noted, “However, since he has not gone to us with it, I feel it would be best to avoid mentioning it. If he is still troubled after the end of our internships, then we can approach him.”

“She’s right,” Monday said, “Still… you don’t think he’ll do anything stupid do you? I mean… his emotions are running pretty and and his brother is his hero right?”

“Stain is an extremely dangerous villain with an unknown quirk,” Himari said, “Why would Ida, who is very controlled himself, go after him on his own?”

“Because people don’t act reasonably when their emotions are running away from them, and he’d been recently traumatized,” Zuku chimed in looking rather disturbed by her own thoughts.

“Do you want me to dispatch a drone to watch over him?” She offered, “It feels like a violation of privacy, but if you think it’s necessary…”

“I can keep an eye on him,” Monday offered, “And if he’s still got a hardon for revenge I’ll give him a reality check he’ll never forget.”

“I wish you luck then, if you desire assistance do remember to call,~” She teased, “And Zuku? All Might said that my regime wasn’t tough enough on you. I happen to agree.”

Monday had the pleasure of seeing Zuku whimper and tear up, so she patted her shoulder and gave her a hug.

“Think of it this way, Zuku. This way you won’t break any more bones and you’ll not peak out in high school,” Monday said.

“Do not worry, Zuku,” Himari continued, “My new muscle regeneration solution is three times more efficient! That means we can do multiple routines in one day! Legs, arms, back, abs, chest, shoulders, neck… or I can make you a bunny girl and boost you up that way.”

“Do it, you’d be so cute!” Monday said, “And I swear I’m not saying that just because I want to play with your ears!”

She just blushed and mumbled something that sounded like “I’ll think about it…” before standing up and saying, “I’ll see if mom needs help with tea!” And fleeing.

“Hehe… soon, I will have a Bunny Midoriya…” Monday said with a giggle.

“You are most odd, has anyone told you that recently?”

“Please, I know you’ve seen my internet history.” Monday said, “Besides I’ll take that as a compliment!”

Himari paused, “I actually haven’t seen it. What’s in it?”

“Oh, well… let’s just say if I die could you delete it for me before mom and dad see it?” Monday asked.

“If you so wish…” Another pause, “I am realizing I’ve never been to your house. Either of them. Perhaps I can come over someday soon?”

“Anytime you want! Mom practically adopted you so my home is your home!” Monday said with a grin, “Besides, it gets lonely sometimes.”

“I would enjoy that, I think,” She replied, “Sometimes I wish I could share what I feel with you directly. Without using words, I am… less than capable of sharing many things, I don’t have the understanding to conceptualize them.”

“That just makes what you can share even more special,” Monday said, “So how do you think things will go with Nagant?”

“I am unsure. I am the first person she’s ever requested for an internship,” Himari replied, “Finding out will be interesting.”

“Well, it seems like we’ll both have interesting stories to share,” Monday said with a smile as she took a seat at Zuku’s desk and relaxed.

“Have a pleasant day, Monday. I shall return to focusing on this infuriating puzzle I’ve given myself. Why oh why did I think that a living metal quirk would be easy to work with…” The amount of pain in the girl’s voice was impressive for how synthetic it was.

“Because you love the challenge,” Monday answered cheekily.

“Shush, or I’ll tell your mom that you want me to delete your search history before they see it,” Himari threatened, “Now that sufficient threat of blackmail has been delivered, you will teach me why you want it deleted later. Bye!” And then hung up.

“I love that sassy robot,” She said with a smile as she put away her cell and decided to try and help Zuku and Inko… and possibly learn Mamadoriya’s secrets.

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