Lamia Ex Machina Chapter 13

[center]Chapter 13: Interlude- Quirky Online[/center]

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[b]♦ Topic: What the Hell happened in this years Sport’s Festival!?[/b]

[b]In: Boards ► UA Sport’s Festival[/b]

[b]Wouldn'tyouliketoknow? [/b] (Original Poster)

Posted On Jan 1st 2XXX:

Okay, so the Sport’s Festival is upon us once again, and like every other year I sit in from of the tv with snacks and eagerly await seeing teenagers beating each other to a pulp for my amusement!

Then on the first trial, the Obstale Course, one takes off like a literal fucking rocket, and is just a fucking robot, and the other just… appears right before Midorya can cross the finish putting her in like third place!

Then it goes on for the next one, the Calvary Battle, which… was just a shitshow from beginning to end. The teleporter cackled the entire time as she kept her team away from everyone despite virtually everyone gunning for her!

Though the fights were better, but the teleporter and little miss robot were just bullshit. Though the teleport did wind up lecturing the entire fucking stadium somehow. I shit you not, I swear to god I heard her voice in my ear!

What the fuck is her quirk!?

But yeah this year’s festival was an absolute shitshow, funny as hell but goddamn…

I’m not jealous of UA having to wrangle those to chaos spawn!

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HeroFan43452:
Those two made a mockery of the entire event! The teleporter wasn’t even taking anything seriously! They shouldn’t have been allowed to claim first and second place in the festival and be banned from participating in future events!

KillerThighs:
Okay, reel it back in there. Yeah, you’re not wrong but they were showing off how versatile their quirks are. And besides that not taking anything serious can be trained out of the teleporter.

DeusExMachina:

To be honest, I was surprised they allowed me to use some of my new drones. Most of their weapons are exceptionally lethal and rather unsafe. But I suppose my foams were decent enough? And shock nets, I like shooting people with the shock nets, they make funny noises when I do.

IThinkThereforIAm:
And honestly, the staff at UA knew what they were in for when I joined. So meh.

SupportEnthisiest:
Oh are you a Duel Course student, Deus? Also, are you and the pink hair girl dating? Cause she was all over you.

DeusExMachina:

Oh, no, my quirk just requires machines and robots to work well in combat so I figured things out. Well, I say ‘quirk’ but that isn’t entirely true, I’m the AI that joined the school if you’ve seen that press release? And no, we aren’t dating. I think.

SupportEnthisiest:
Oh yeah, I forgot about that. And are you sure? I’m pretty sure I heard something about babies

IThinkThereforIAm:
Naw, Mei’s just like that. Honestly I don’t even think she knows what sex even is.

Flammin’ Mad:
Honestly, I think the two were just showing off! I don’t think Endevor will be sending any intern requests for them. Well, maybe one for the robot girl anyway.

DeusExMachina:

I am not a fan of how he works. He does not truly help people, just stops criminals. Valuable, but far from what I wish to be. I like rescue heroes, primarily, but I would not say no to Best Jeanist or similar. Someone with charisma. My goals are to spread my technology to improve everyone’s lives, but I need money to do it and being a pro-hero is the best way to get that money.

Flammin’ Mad:
Endevour is the best Hero! He’ll become Number 1 this year! I just know it!

IThinkThereforIAm:
Simp alert

Janitor (Mod):

No sniping, no insults.

IThinkThereforIAm:
It was an observation
If I was being insulting my verbage would be infinitely more colorful

VoidSamurai:

They’re plants I tell you! They were put in place by the HPSC to show off their engineered quirks and keep the normies in line!

DeusExMachina:

I am literally incapable of being an engineered quirk user. I don’t have genetics. I did, however, tweak Monday’s genetics. I gave her cat ears and a tail.

Which is between fifty thousand and five hundred thousand yen for people to have if they are not already my friends! Link to purchase here: Buy my stuff!

Also present to purchase are cybernetic eyes, arms, hands, and hearts! And livers. And regeneration serums, but those are much more limited and can not restore functionality.

IThinkThereforIAm:
I think it's a conspiracy nut, you can’t logic them.

Janitor (Mod):
… I’ll give you a pass, as Void is a notorious conspiracy theorist. Also Deus can you not use this thread to shill your merch? We’re supposed to be talking about the Sports Festival.

DeusExMachina:

But it isn’t merch, it’s medicine and tech! And it is talking about the Sports Festival, you saw how Monday used her tail! I gave that tail to her so it’s on topic!

IThinkThereforIAm:
I’ve only had my tail for two weeks and I can’t imagine life without it! Please come and let my friend mad science you and be like me!~ XD

VoidSamurai:
IT’S A CONSPIRACY I KNOW THE TRUTH! YOU’RE ALIENS!!11!

[b]Wouldn'tyouliketoknow?[/b] (Original Poster)

What the hell has happened to my thread!? I just stepped away to get something to eat!?

DeusExMachina:

I began shilling! Would you wish to buy your own fluffy tail? Check my profile for a link to my shop!

… it’s hosted from a server farm, so you can’t find my address from it. Fear my prescience, I know someone was thinking of it! You can’t see my insides, none of you can!

IThinkThereforIAm:

Stop watching evil AI movies please.

DeusExMachina:

But they’re fun?

Pinky:
OMG girl I swear!
You are so lucky you’re cute

YouCan’tSeeMe:

I’d ask who gave you internet access but that’d be a stupid question.

Yamomo:
Cat picture spam

(moved)

RockHard:
I didn’t like how the Festival went, but ngl Monday and Himari are manly as hell!

Janitor (Mod):

No picture spam, moved to the proper thread.

Yamomo:
Ah, my apologies. I’ve not used this forum before.

Page: 6/14

DefenderofHumanity:
The fact that they allowed a machine to participate is outrageous! Please, people, listen to reason! AIs are extremely dangerous and could lead to devastating conflict!

DeusExMachina:

Oh I am absolutely dangerous, extremely so. But every Hero is dangerous. If All Might punched the city, what do you think would happen? Honestly, think before you speak…

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Private Chat between KillerThighs, LaughsaLot, IAMHERE, ISCREM, TiredofyourShit, RatGod, ShovelKnight, Skinshipper

RatGod:
Well, I have to say that was the most amusing Sport’s Festival we’ve ever had!

Skinshipper:
And the way Monday lamblasted the entire stadium when they boo’d her! So exciting! Maybe I should put in a request to have her intern under me?

ShovelKnight:

If Mt. Lady doesn’t snatch her up first.

LaughsaLot:
I personally found it hilarious! I bet that got under the HSPC’s skin!

TiredofyourShit:
Would it have hurt them to be normal for once? Normal for heroes, specifically.

IScrem:
Come on! They're good kids! Besides Monday and Himari are the only two that actively engage in my class! Don’t send them away please! sobs

KillerThighs:
The Teleporter’s Monday right? What the fuck is her quirk suppose to be, she practically sleepwalked through this whole goddamn thing! The only time she put in any effort was when the purple headed kid said something to piss her off.

IAMHERE:

Young Monday’s quirk is very… unique I’ll say that much. I don’t understand the mechanics and I am not a stupid man.

Skinshipper:
Just a Himbo!~

ShovelKnight:
I don’t think that means what you think it does, Midnight. But Monday’s quirk is essentially localized reality warping to put it simply. But if you want it in technical terms it’s severe quantum physical manipulation. Or at least that’s the best I got, her quirk is very irritating to rationalize.

RatGod:
Oh! Don’t forget to effectively use her quirk she has to be deranged to a degree.

Skinshipper:

Everyone’s a critic… anyway, anyone have anything against me stealing her away for some remedial lessons on how to not scare the audience? And how to make the best use of her assets…

TiredofyourShit:
… If no one sends her an offer, have at it. Good luck making anything stick, she has extreme ADHD…

Skinshipper:

Oh no, I meant outside of that.

TiredofyourShit:

… Midnight, she’s flirted with almost every girl in class… I don’t think she needs help. But you’ll do what you do no matter what.

KillerThighs:

I’m tempted to send her an offer just to see if she’s useless beyond her quirk.

IAMHERE:

She’s not. I’ll send you some recordings of her in my class, but she’s a very capable hero. If anything I think she needs to tone down the Horror if she plans to be a Daytime Hero. It’s hard to reassure civilians when they’re terrified of you.

RatGod:

You did ask her to play a villain.

IAMHERE:
I’m aware, but how often do Hero students embrace the role so thoroughly?

RatGod:

I thought it was funny.

KillerThighs:

Now I’m actually concerned…

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Now for some Non-canon content!

KillerThighs:
Now I’m actually concerned…

IThinkThereforeIAm:
You should be!~

KillerThighs and the Other Heroes:
What the!? How the hell did you get in here!?

Vyor A/N: We couldn’t figure out how to make this arc… interesting at all. Tournament Arcs in general are pretty boring, some exceptions permitted, and MHA’s was never the best outside of personal interactions which would… obviously be a bit harder to do in this format and with these characters. So we decided to do this instead.