Sins of the Father Ch69

Pounding, stabbing pain woke Astarte. She felt like she had two little ice picks pounding into her temples. The muscles in her eyelids twitched, and soon she found that she could no longer stay in bed.

The warehouse they had occupied was silent, worn out from the events of the last day and half the pirates had no energy to cause trouble. Even the ones on watch were only half awake.

She sat up and the room swam around her. She stopped and focused her vision until the room held still.

Her headaches had been growing worse and worse for weeks now, and Astarte forgot to take the mild pain killers in all the chaos.

In fact, she hadn’t brought them to the meeting, they were still in her desk drawer back on the Astaroth. Assuming her room hadn’t been ransacked.

She held her head in her hands as she tried to think. She was in one of the outposts the Hellworlders had established across Unity. Specifically, she was in Bones’ mad science outpost. There had to be pain killers somewhere, right?

Astarte got out of her sleeping bag, one of the ones the Marines had offered to her, tripped on a piece of her sloppily discarded armor, and stumbled into the main supply room.

It was there rummaging through the crates of medical supplies and ammo that someone else having a hard time sleeping found her.

“It’s the middle of the night, what are you doing?” A groggy voice behind Astarte demanded.

Astarte jolted at the sudden noise, and even let out a little squeak of fright. Behind her standing the shadow of the doorway was a short, shapely, feminine figure. Any more than that was impossible to tell.

But from the stance and the judgment in the voice, Astarte made a guess. “Is that you Bones? Help me find some pain killers.” Astarte whispered, not wanting to wake up anyone else.

“I’m not Bones.” Rachel Heart said as she stepped out from the shadows. “Why do you need painkillers?”

Astarte winced, in the dark it was hard to tell the difference between Alwen and Rachel, both were just too similar in height and figure. They even held themselves in similar ways, the only difference usually being the Alwen stood with more confidence while Rachel shied away from attention.

But not tonight. The former SS spook leaned against the door with crossed arms and a judgmental look.

Astarte scowled and went back to searching. “I have a headache.” She said defensively. “I couldn’t sleep. What about you?”

“After all that noise you made?” Rachel shot back.

Astarte blushed and was thankful her back was still to Rachel. “Yeah, that would do it.” She murmured.

She opened a black case and found packs of first aid supplies and grinned triumphantly. The painkillers in these might be a little more intense than what she needed, but then again, her headache had never been this bad before. She had been taking pain killers on a daily basis for months now, and never had a chance for her headache to truly grow unbearable.

“Oh,” Rachel said dumbly, no longer so judgmental. “Do you get them often?”

Astarte popped the lid and swallowed two, and then one more for good measure. “It's been pretty constant for months now. Alwen said its probably the eye.” She said as she gestured to the scared side of her face. “Did you think I had a drug problem?”

Now it was Rachel’s turn to flush. “You wouldn’t be the first criminal with a drug addiction.” She said in her defense.

Astarte huffed a laugh. “Yeah, Greyson certainly had one. He’d always had this nasty stuff he got from the Guthulu he’d inject into his arm. A cross between steroids and coke.”

Rachel quirked an eyebrow, “you mean Greyson as in the pirate lord?”

Astarte nodded. “Come on now, you should have put two and two together after meeting Zera, a known lieutenant of Greyson’s. Well, a former one at least.” She smirked to herself.

Rachel shifted on her feet, “we had our suspicions. I just find it odd how casually you can mention him. You killed him, didn’t you?”

Astarte’s grin faded, “Yeah, Greyson didn’t like me leaving to start my own crew, he came after us in a sneak attack when we were just getting started. After that we went to war, council approval and everything.”

“What council?”

“The pirate council.”

Rachel guffawed. “You really expect me to believe that pirates have a government they answer to?”

Astarte rolled her eyes. “Of course we have a government, we even had a king until recently. We’re pirates not anarchists.”

“What happened to your king?”

“There was a coup half a year ago, an Aunviry warlord tried to take over and begin a second age of Aunviry conquest. We killed him and his crew, and in the chaos an old spider killed off our last king and took the office for himself.”

“And you say you’re not anarchists?” Rachel asked archly.

“Hey, the confederacy went thousands of years without revolution.” She retorted. She didn’t really care about Rachel’s impression of the confederacy, but the banter was taking her mind off the headache.

Rachel put a hand to her forehead. “God, just when I feel like I have you figured out you turn around a show me how wrong I was. Did you know that you almost had me convinced you were just some private contractor?”

“Was that before or after Zera?”

“Before” Rachel growled softly.

Astarte nodded. “I thought so. This could have all gone a lot differently if Zera had just died the first time around.”

Rachel looked up sharply. “Why’d you even try to kill her in the first place?”

Astarte quirked a brow, “That bitch was always crazy, she had a habit of beating any girl Greyson happened to glance at. I was just too stubborn to step down.”

“Why did you even join a pirate crew in the first place, the money can’t be better than getting a proper job.” Rachel accused.

“Bold of you to assume that a proper job was even an option for me.” Astarte shot back. “I’m a bastard child of rape who was raised by Earth’s most infamous whore, not a lot of prospects.”

“But Piracy? Under Greyson? That man was evil!”

“You don’t think I know that?” Astarte asked rhetorically. “I met the bastard, I slept in his bed, and I was the one who snuffed the life out of him with my bare hands!”

“How can you just say that like its nothing? You killed a man, you killed dozens less than a day ago. How can you walk about like none of it matters?”

“Of course it matters, don’t be an ignorant cun-,”

“Don’t you finish that word!” Rachel said with a threatening look.

Astarte was tempted to do so out of spite, but then in moment the anger left her and she slumped against a crate. “Whatever, its not like someone like you could ever understand.”

“How can I understand you when you’ve been lying to me this whole time.” Her voice was full of unspoken pain and betrayal.

Astarte stared at her knees. This was so stupid! She was a goddammed space pirate who had built her fleet from the ground up. Half her crew was in prison, her ship was crawling with SS, and here she was feeling shitty because one girl felt hurt by Astarte’s deception.

Why?

She shouldn’t care. Karega was right, even if everything went perfectly and she left this station in flames with her crew and the terraforming equipment there was no place for anything between Rachel and Astarte. She was a space pirate who walked through rivers of blood and sin, and Rachel was a Union officer sworn to uphold the same government that kept their species down. She believed in childish fantasies like justice, something Astarte could never understand.

But maybe, maybe that was what drew Astarte in.

Because for all the violent enforcement of a genocidal government’s law’s, Rachel was still a good -if ignorant- person.

This thing between them had festered too long. She needed to end this. Nothing here would end well for either of them. But something inside her bucked at the very idea of breaking things off.

“Fuuuck!” Astarte groaned.

Rachel glared at her “Language!”

“We’re both adults.” She shot back.

They lapsed into a silence, the air poignant with unspoken secrets.

The silence stretched until Astarte could no longer take. Time to come clean. “He wasn’t all bad.” Astarte said softly.

“Who?”

“Byron, Captain Greyson, he wasn’t pure evil.” She said, not knowing why she felt the need to defend him. “He was a bad man, don’t get me wrong. He had no issue killing, and he cared little for the gutter rats who flocked to his ships, he used us like cannon fodder. But he had his own code. One that was almost ironclad, and maybe even honorable.”

Rachel raised an eyebrow. Astarte could tell she wanted to say a hundred different things to dispute what she said. But maybe she realized what Astarte was getting at. “Like what?” she asked eventually.

“For one he did not tolerate anyone laying hands on women. No one in his crew were allowed to have their way with the captives or our victims, not even a quick squeeze.”

Rachel looked vaguely disgusted, but she didn’t say anything.

Astarte was thankful for that. She continued on, “and for all his womanizing ways he strongly believed in consent.”

Rachel looked away. “I assumed when you said you slept in his bed… it was because you had no choice.”

Astarte snorted derisively. “No, no. I had no choice in being his bodyguard, but the other part, I wanted that. Maybe I was just being a stupid kid, but I thought we could mess around without me growing attached. I thought I could keep things casual and fun… I was wrong.”

“How old were you?” Rachel asked.

Astarte didn’t meet her eyes. “About fifteen, I think. Yeah, fifteen.”

Rachel looked at her with concern “Greyson was over fifty when he died.” She pointed out.

Astarte shrugged. “It didn’t really matter to me, still doesn’t.” she paused and then thought about it. “I would never fool around with someone that young, but his age never bothered me. Better than the awkward fumbling of people my age.”

“So he wasn’t even the first?” she asked.

Astarte laughed. “Not even top ten.”

Rachel looked unsettled. “When did you… and did you know you were-,” she trailed off.

“What, gay, a pansexual whore. I always knew, from the moment I first started hoarding porn under my bed.”

Rachel guffawed, not out of humor, but from the sheer brazenness of the statement. “How can you be so casual about that?”

Astarte shrugged “I guess I’m just desensitized to it. I grew up in a brothel, and the walls weren’t always so soundproof as they are nowadays. Some kids who grew up like me get really weird about touching and relationships, they’re skittish where I don’t see any reason to be coy about it.”

“That’s just, that not how I was raised.” She said softly.

“No, I can imagine you were taught differently. But again, your parents aren’t exactly the picture of propriety. Do you know your dad tried to offer up your mom to Karega?”

Rachel didn’t blink, “wouldn’t surprise me.” She paused, “Karega didn’t say yes, right?”

“Of course not.” Astarte said, offended on her best friend's behalf. “Even if he had a passing interest in women, he would have turned him down.”

“Oh, good.” She said dumbly. They lapsed into silence again, this time Rachel broke it “why did you leave Greyson. You said he was honorable, in his own way, why’d you leave.”

Astarte hands clenched. “Like I said, I thought I could keep things causal. But I was wrong. I never planned to stay, I always had dreams of leaving and starting my own crew, or maybe getting to captain one of his ships. But when I realized the way I felt I knew I couldn’t just leave. But remember how I said he wasn’t all bad, well, that didn’t excuse the really bad shit he did.”

Rachel looked over, and she didn’t need Astarte to explain. Greyson’s ships were the terror of Orion space, and the most valuable cargo out in Orion wasn’t goods, but passengers.

“I thought I could change his mind, share some of my vision with him. A way to be rich and powerful without all the slaving and killing. But my pitch didn’t go down so well. I tried to start small, get him to consider letting the kids go, but I embarrassed him in front of his subordinate captains. And he couldn’t let that stand, couldn’t look weak.”

Rachel nodded her head. “My mother once tried to subvert father. She didn’t like the deals he was making, thought working with Ozzath and Kenzo would only bring trouble. She couldn’t walk for a week.”

Astarte sighed. “In that regard Greyson showed some restraint. Only my arm and nose were broken, dumped me on some shit hole station and told me to find my own way back when I learned some respect.”

“Did you?”

She smirked. “No, because on that station I met my mom, my biological one. I beat her face in, we had a heart to heart, and set out on our own. The rest is history. The next time I met Greyson was years later aboard the deck of the Astaroth with an army of rookie marines at my back. He tried to get me to join his fleet, I told him to piss off.” She was smiling now.

Oh, how her legs shook when stepped onto her deck uninvited. And oh, how purple his face went when she finally got her hands around his neck.

She looked to Rachel who was smiling with her. Probably not for the same reasons though. “What about you?” Astarte asked.

“Me, what about me?”

Astarte tilted her head. “I’ve picked up some of the sordid details, but I don’t have the full story. I figured since I was being honest it might be time to here your whole deal.”

Rachel’s smile fell. “Its not nearly as exciting as yours.”

“Its not a competition, and I glossed over a lot of grunt work and boring conference meetings.”

“Conference meetings?”

She shrugged “You can’t run a pirate empire without a bit of organization.”

“Right” Rachel said dumbly. “Well, again its nothing special. My parents married for business purposes. My mom’s family was declining, and father was still pretty wealthy at the time. Father always wanted a son, but mothers isn’t really made to have children, medicine can only go so far. I nearly killed her as it was, so I was all my family was going to get.”

Astarte frowned. “They gave up after one kid?”

Rachel stared at the ceiling. “Mother did, father didn’t. but I think he eventually realized she took pills to prevent further conception, because around the time I was thirteen one of his mistresses appeared.”

Astarte rose an eyebrow; she heard enough period piece dramas to what what happened from there. “And your mother made them disappear.” Astarte stated confidently.

Rachel nodded. “When I joined the ADCU I went looking into their disappearances and found that mother smuggled them far from Unity. As it is I have four half siblings living comfortably in the far corners of the galaxy, all of them sisters.”

Astarte sighed. “Well, that’s nice at least.”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Dead bodies would have been too troublesome, and my mother’s not stupid. Judge already had his eyes on us, my father’s partnership with Amaterasu made him suspicious. Anyway that’s how I grew up, when my father realized he wasn’t going to get a proper son he began to start looking around for a good young man to marry me off to. Someone who could be like a son. And mother agreed with him.”

“You know, for an enclave of Terren’s in the heart of an interstellar empire, the people here are pretty regressive. This shit sounds like a bad period drama. The way you people dress, act, behave, its like you’re all poorly playing a handful of stereotypes. It would be funny if you weren’t so serious.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it.” Rachel said dryly.

“Yeah, yeah, this must all seem very normal to you,” She waved a hand, “continue on, ignore my interruptions.”

“There’s not much else to say.” She deflected.

Astarte starred “you don’t think your glossing over a pretty big part of the story?” she asked leading.

Rachel looked down, “You already know that part.”

“I’ve heard enough to make a few good inferences, not the whole truth. When did you figure out you were gay?”

Rachel scowled. “That’s the thing, I didn’t. I never even knew it was possible for women to feel the way I do.”

“You never snuck a peak at some pretty slim legs, had your eyes boggle at a big bust, heard a moan and-,”

“Please stop?” Rachel begged.

Astarte rolled her eyes. “Fine. But you cant tell me there weren’t signs.”

“I, I often felt… jealous of other women. They were all prettier than I am, taller, and sexier.”

Astarte guffawed. “Your joking, right?”

Rachel gestured to herself. “Look at me.” She said as if that explained everything.

Astarte looked. She was wearing the tight black pants and shirt of her ADCU under uniform, but a bit of her top had ridden up and exposed open belly. “I see a strong woman. Maybe a bit on the short side, but with a toned stomach, beautiful eyes, and is at least a C-cup, more likely a D”

“D?” Rachel asked.

Astarte cupped her own cleavage in explanation. “Bust size, I’m a B.” she lied. “And besides that you’ve got hips for days, and the kind a thighs that would make a less disciplined person drool.”

It was a bit hard to tell with Rachel’srich brown complexion, but Astarte was sure she was blushing like a tomato.

“Please stop.” Rachel moaned.

“Sorry, just giving my honest objective opinion. You think I was an attracted to that ugly black cloak I first saw you in? Please. When I saw you at that party, I had to do a double take.”

Rachel shuffled awkwardly against the door frame she was leaning on.

Astarte smiled, and was about to continue teasing the poor girl, but she began to feel woozy. “Oof, those pills work fast, I need to sit down.”

Rachel jerked up and stopped leaning against the doorway. “I’ll leave you to it then.”

“No don’t.” Astarte said quickly as Rachel was about to leave. “I’m having fun talking with you.”

“Teasing more like.” Rachel said with scowl.

“I’m not lying.”

She snorted, but after a minute of hesitation chose to sit down on one of the only other crates. Which incidentally put her within reach of Astarte. She needs to promote and commandant whoever stocked this room.

“So” Astarte said after a moment of silence. “Your parents began to bandy you around like a fine cut of meat. I assume that means lots of parties, dresses, and awkward conversation.”

“You got it.” She spoke. “I hated every minute of it. Especially since none of the men I met seemed to interest me.”

“Any women?” Astarte needled.

Rachel looked down. “A… few.”

“And you never put two and two together. You must be as dense as a brick.”

“Yeah, probably.” She said distractedly. She seemed deep in thought, “Vivian… Vivian was nice.” She said after a while.

“U-huh.” Astarte said dryly.

“She was!” Rachel insisted, “our parents were both trying to find us suitors, so we were always around each other. At first, I was jealous because of, well, you know why. But she was also more charming than I was. She assembled a whole horde of men at every outing, all hanging on to her every word. I hated her. I hated her so much. She was everything I couldn’t be. But then we talked. Just once, and I heard how much she hated everyone of the vapid, sex obsessed, mongrels humping her leg.”

“Her words I take it.”

Rachel nodded. “It made me laugh at the time. I then thought that maybe I didn’t need to hate her, and maybe I could have had a friend to make these stupid parties easier.”

“And then she drugged and raped you.” Astarte said.

Rachel had seen the slide shows on what was and wasn’t consent, and Astarte had sat with her through all the awkward parts. But even after that she knew that Rachel didn’t quite think of it that way.

The conversation died.

Rachel cleared her throat. “That night father found me… found me, uh.” Her voice broke.

“Who was on top?” Astarte asked bluntly. A therapist might beat her upside the head for pushing Rachel like this, but Astarte did not believe in half measures. Or therapy.

“Uh, me, I think. It was all a haze.” She went quiet, “No it had to be me because father shoved me off, and Vivian cried about me seducing her. That sobered me up.” Rachel said somberly as she worked out the logic of events.

“I take it that there was a lot shouting after that.” Astarte guessed.

She nodded. “Father was furious, mother was also disgusted, but she wanted to lock me in my room and cover things up. Father wasn’t having that. He threw me out the back door, still half naked, and I sat there pounding on the door and crying until Judge found me.”

Astarte leaned back. “And since he also had a similar secret, he didn’t go in to expose your parents in front of all their fancy guests.”

“He gave me clothes and took me home. Helped me get into the station security and then brought me into the ADCU.” She waved her hand.

“I take it you never explored your sexuality after that. Not even porn?”

Rachel nodded. “I was told it was unnatural. And net search records are open to the public.”

Astarte spat. “Stupid fucking rule. That’s why I had to scrounge for physical media back home. Time was you could anonymously search up whatever kink you wanted and never worry about your mother finding out. Stupid Net registration making it hard to get off.”

Despite her dour mood Rachel laughed. “Your filthy!”

“As dirty as they come. I think half the reason people join my crew is the private access to the ship’s porn stash.” She joked.

Rachel was still giggling. “Oh god, I heard about that. It was included in the file from Femeri station security.”

“So you want me to be you spent over a decade without ever getting hot and bothered at night, or meeting strangers at bars? God, I personally can’t go more than two days.”

Rachel put a hand over her mouth as she couldn’t stop laughing.

“Was it at least good?” Astarte asked.

Rachel got her laughing under control, “It wasn’t bad. It was confusing, and awkward. A lot of her pushing my head down.”

Astarte quirked an eyebrow. “She didn’t, I don’t know, reciprocate?”

“I uh…”

“Because,” Astarte said continuing on, “a proper night of passion is supposed to have a sort of give and take. Its no fun if you’re the only one doing the work. Two, or more, people all working together to make the other person moan, being a little selfish at times, but also making sure you give more back.” She explained, putting a low purr to her voice.

Rachel was blushing again. “I don’t think this is something I need to hear.” She said lamely.

“Why” Astarte pressed. “I’ve told you before, there’s nothing wrong with you, there’s nothing wrong with me, its natural for two people who like each other.”

“I, I don’t know, I’ve never-,”

Astarte ha heard enough lame excuses. She leaned in, and gently pressed a kiss onto Rachels lips.

For a moment, Rachel was surprised, but then… after a second of doubt… she melted into the kiss.

It was awkward and unpracticed, at least on Rachels part, but there was still something ravenous about it.

Yearning.

Rachel had spent so much time denying herself. And after all that had happened, the betrayal of her fellow officers, the run for their lives, the argument about what had to be done, and a surprisingly honest conversation with a space pirate, Rachel had no will to keep up her walls.

Astarte felt the moment in their kiss when Rachel finally stopped holding herself back and let the giddy, terrifying feelings of forbidden romance overtake her.

Astarte pulled back, and Rachel let out a soft disappointed moan. Rachels eyes were firmly on Astarte’s lips.

Astarte laughed and scooted closer to Rachel until they were touching at the hip. She leaned down and placed a supporting arm in between the other girls’ thighs. “I can show you the rest, but only if you want.” Astarte said in a low sultry voice.

Rachel looked up and the taller women, still just a bit taller despite leaning, and then looked down the length of Astarte’s arm that was placed so close to her loins, and yet still too far. “Yes, Astarte. Show me.” She pleaded as she leaned her body forward.

Astarte smiled, “Please, call me Aster, Astarte’s a bit to formal for what we’re about to do.”