The New World Rewrite(Chapters 32-34)
Added 2021-07-31 16:58:15 +0000 UTC32 What Friends Can Be
Comments
Hey Monsoon, I've been reading the the write and I'm love in it so far, but I noticed a possible error, though I'm not sure. All people need the two initial perks in order to be allowed to leave the tutorial zone, in that case, don't they need to be at least lvl 10 to do so? If so, how come Kelsey is lvl 6 and out in the world?
AndMac
2021-11-03 05:23:53 +0000 UTCI'm not crying you're crying! 😭
Allen Lea
2021-08-05 16:28:42 +0000 UTCThank you. I worked really hard on making this as good as I could. I'm glad to see a lot of people are enjoying this.
Monsoon117
2021-08-03 13:19:47 +0000 UTCthis rewrite honestly has me coming back easily. The new narrative path of this makes the world feel a whole lot more real, as well as really hammering home the shittiness of Daniels mates. I also enjoy the added color to the world and the focus brought to the colors of the world even through the dark and focused points of Daniel's life.
Connor Alexander
2021-08-03 10:18:43 +0000 UTCFreakin love it. I’ve been defending the shit out of this series and the re writes are icing on the cake.
Pretentious Slime
2021-07-31 23:40:56 +0000 UTCDaniel easily one ups them by stating that an Eldritch tried to crawl into his body and control him.
Alex R
2021-07-31 17:10:55 +0000 UTCThis was by far the hardest series of chapters to rewrite bar none, in particular, chapters 31-33. I really changed how everything played out. It went from an almost meaningless encounter to a real character shifting moment. In the rewrite, I tried to make Daniel really build up the meeting with Kelsey and Michael. Daniel pinned his hopes on them. He wanted them to appreciate his struggles and be people he could confide with. Spoilers here: It didn't work out that way. Daniel ends up taking a huge L essentially, his old friends using him as a scapegoat for all the turmoil in their lives. It's meant to be frustrating from an outsiders perspective(EG, the reader) but not unreadable. I also made the fallout of the encounter playout in different ways. Althea helps Daniel in the moment. Torix helps guide him more as well. Even Kessiah gives Daniel a break here, not teasing him about it. I wanted each of these characters to leave a mark on Daniel, and vice versa. In the end, after several edits and adjustments, I think I've done that. This is the biggest change to the New World's rewrite, one where I really missed an opportunity on the first writing. And I really hope I didn't miss the mark on the second one. Enjoy guys.
Monsoon117
2021-07-31 17:06:16 +0000 UTC
