The New World Rewrite( Chapters 29-31)
Added 2021-07-29 13:45:54 +0000 UTC29 A Boundless Storm
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Comments
Taking out the part where they were already weary of Yawm because he killed a sentinel will be a tall task for you since it is mentioned often.
Alex I
2021-08-03 03:58:13 +0000 UTCStill enjoying the rewrites so far.
Alex R
2021-07-29 13:58:44 +0000 UTCTorix spread out his hands, staring at a wall, And besides the difficulty involved, Torix spread out his hands, staring at a wall, (")And besides the difficulty involved, Missed a quotation mark.
Alex R
2021-07-29 13:58:35 +0000 UTCIn these chapters, I'm changing one of the encounters in the beggining of the New World - the encounter with Michael and Kelsey. The setup itself makes much more sense. I also saw a different way of using this encounter as well. In the first writing, Daniel basically doesn't care about his friends at all. Instead of showing how cold Daniel had become, I wanted to show how he became so cold in this rewrite. I tried to show how Daniel really wanted to keep his friends and retain any normalcy that he could. I changed the dimensional rip scene as well. Daniel isn't thrown into the situation, and instead, chooses it. I also added in bits and pieces scene wise to show better descriptions, brushed up on the world-building elements, and ironed out a few subtle continuity errors. All in all, this and the next few chapters are were the majority of the early story changes take place, and they're designed to make this beginning section flow smoother and make more sense as a whole. Hope you all enjoy it.
Monsoon117
2021-07-29 13:52:26 +0000 UTC
