The New World Rewrite(Chapters 8-10)

The cringe of the bones came from seeing the bones break, not the pain itself.

Monsoon117

Not having time to think, the BloodHollow Golem crashed through the field of mana Not giving me time to think, the BloodHollow... I flopped across the air, bruises forming where I tumbled. through the air I thanked the change in scenery, and whenever I approached, water rose from the pool of gray. when I approached even larger than the last one. even larger than the stones of the last one. and my leg skin wrapped back around my leg. and my skin wrapped back around my leg. Time like that made my new body feel like it wasn’t mine. Times like A nosebleed forms and fills my nostrils with blood. formed and filled As the spear fired forward, the ice around me shattered and I fell forward. Forward twice. As the spear flew toward me... The wind of the spear pressed against my back. spear's passing A short, brown haired girl was here, brown-haired David scoffed, “We have some hand soap for dishes.” David huffed, saying, "We have... but then they just left the pillar of light while noone else did.” then he “Why are you guys here instead of with your family’s then, and why this dungeon?” families My hair tousled around in an objective mess, My hair was tousled into and abject mess,... Calluses covered my knuckles, along with scars. Didn't he watch his (then lower) regeneration erase his scars earlier? Thinking about it, the bats and bears stood smaller compared to me know. Details like that obscured when I fought in the darkness, but the torch gem gave me a good enough view to discern those details. much harder to discern little details like that. Peering down, the glowing bags hung over me bulged on me like glowing tumors. Thinking about it, the bats and bears stood smaller compared to me now. Details like that were obscured when I fought in the darkness, but the torch gem gave me a good enough view to discern those much harder to discern little details like that. Peering down, I saw the glowing bags hung over me bulging like glowing tumors. I'd say a week or two, when I get about ten or so levels higher and finish some trees, I'll take him on. I'd say a week or two. When I get about ten or so levels higher and finish some trees, I'll take him on. I don't, and haven't trusted that damn thing for a second since coming here." , and haven't, trusted... Another bone crushing blow slammed against it. bone-crushing, or stone-crushing since the only bones in the fight are his. The creature slit another stone across my back. slid another stone, or slit another wound My blows blared across the cavern, each hit rippling with sound. The noise from my blows blared... However, I reaped benefits from the mess up, mess-up Why a near all knowing and all powerful AI designed the program like that all-knowing all-powerful Regardless, Earth was right in the middle of it all so the monsters spawning ramped up quickly. it all, so... Oceans of these creatures, these eldritch poured out. , these eldritch, ... the initiation process into Schema owned space. Schema-owned I'd never be pushed into another piss filled toilet. piss-filled From within the mana, something morbid skulked. Either: From within the mana, something morbid emerged. Or. Within the mana, something morbid lurked. Long ago, that robe would’ve beamed out with a noble, majestic aura. beamed out a noble The more humane of the two was the hivemind of flesh eating insects. flesh-eating so they reached me in a half molten state. half-melted (or half-molten, but I think that term implies more heat, melted just means they turned to liquid.) I tried goring me with a horn, It tried Grabbed by its horn, I swung it in a circle Grabbing it by its horn, I swung... A useful club, I swung the beetle at three more zombies before the beetle crushed against a fourth. Splattered into a green spray, I growled as more summons ran at me. Having found a useful club, I swung the beetle at three more zombies before crushing it against a fourth, splattering it into a green spray. I growled as more summons ran at me. The hours stretched on until Stacy and David were dooms daying in the back. doomsaying I cringed before snapping the bone back. I think winced would be better. I think his pain tolerance is too high for a full cringe. Peering at it, the gem contained strange, moving runic symbols. Peering at it, I saw that the gem... Rolling my shoulders, I relished in a sensation of dominion over myself. relished (no 'in') or reveled in David busted out laughing before David gave me a pat on the back, before he gave

Jonathan

Thanks and fixed.

Monsoon117

Thank you and fixed.

Monsoon117

Hell yeah.

Monsoon117

"A tiny glitch that through me in this pit wasn't worth its time". Through - >threw

Daniel S

*Halves* strength requirements You have *one* over thirty, not you have over thirty one. A tiny glitch that *threw* me into

Alex R

Great work with this one. Really like the improved emotional response and social cues that Daniel missed the first draft.

Thank you all who decided to keep donating despite the shift in the content style. By this point in the edits, some shifts are starting show. David and Stacy are explored more without adding much length to the work, and Daniel's less of a brick, emotionally speaking. This is supposed to add more realism and explanations about the outer world as well, without having to info dump as much.

Monsoon117