Weight Gain Journal- May 2021

Hello everybody! It's been a while since I've done this, but I'm really excited to unpack the last several months of gaining with all of you.

All in all, this has been an amazing ride. This is my 3rd year on Patreon, and I look forward to revamping the site and finding better content options for the long run. I will be dropping the private snapchat off of the higher tiers, and replacing them with verbal requests and longer videos throughout the month. This has been a long time coming. As I grow as a person and as an online entity, I can't juggle as much as I could before. Simplifying my tiers will allow a better user experience for all of us. I'd rather offer transparency over broken promises, and I hope everyone will enjoy what I do moving forward. 

I want to mention that I love what I do and anything that may "come off as" complaining, is not meant to be. I will continue to gain for the long run, through thick and thin. I'm here to share the ups and downs of gaining with all of you. I'm going to do this in different categories, so peek below for anything you may want to know.

Family- This is by far the most important topic that gets brought up with my gaining experience. When I am asked for advice, nearly all of it is centered around how to handle family and close relationships. Since the beginning of Covid, I've put on about 65lbs. Now, I don't live with or near my family, so they probably only see me in 20-30lb increments. When I do visit, It's definitely a topic of discussion. A good way to move past this is to reassure everyone that I'm happy, and that my health is still in the "green." If you live with your family and are a gainer, just try and carry yourself high.. Most of our loved ones concerns come from a source of concern or self-judgment. 

Friends- Now this is where I am seeing more of a social shift. My friends have stopped inviting me out the larger I get. A few of them ask about my health or give the underhanded "are you okay?" when I'm sweating, but again, most people will not panic about your weight. After all, it's 2021 and this is YOUR body. I haven't been able to pinpoint whether these "concerns" are out of love or out of fatphobia, but they certainly have helped me detach from my friendships. I think I'd feel comfortable leaving everyone behind to find new, fat, gainer-friendly friends if I were to move. I am living my true life, and if my circle doesn't respect that, I have no reason to stay here for them.

Living Situation- I am still living alone. For those of you who have been with me for a while, I'm still in the lakefront cottage I've been in since 3/2019. This has made it incredibly easy to grow uninhibited. I park my car less than 10 feet from the door, I'm within delivery range of all of my favorite restaurants, and I only have a single-story dwelling. The issue that has become apparent during the covid gain is the matter of keeping my place clean. As many of you know, this has been an issue of mine for a year or two, but the last several months have made it exceptionally hard. I often struggle to bend over, stand long enough to vacuum or do dishes, and I have trouble taking the trash out daily as the walk is laboring. I'm actively looking for a live-in feeder, and would love to find a guy who would be turned on and willing to help me with these things. In the meantime, I struggle, and complete what I can. Once my lease ends in March, I will be looking into moving somewhere where there is a willing encourager and enabler if I cannot find that here.

Mobility- As we expected, there's been a huge decline in mobility. I can no longer do my own shopping, or visit the parks I enjoy. This has been a valid trade-off, as I'm pretty introverted already. Having an excuse, like "back pain" or "allergies" has enabled me to have everything delivered, and I don't have to walk nearly as much as I used to. I find myself spending more time in bed, and less walking around or even resting on the couch. There is something so soothing about laying flat and letting all of your fat flood over your skeleton. It feels like nothing else I've ever experienced. The shower chair has went from a luxury to a necessity, and I no longer do shopping indoors. Curbside pickup is the winner in my scenario.

Personal Image- This is a weird one. Most guys expect your confidence to be linear and loud when you're growing huge, but it's not the case. No matter how intentional your gains are, there is always the social situation that will knock the life out of you. For me, it's when I'm walking near anyone. I can hear myself panting and breathing heavy, the sweat dripping down my back is apparent, but there's nothing I can do at my size. I've found that being particular about who you let yourself be around is important. I have fat friends, and skinny friends. Guess which ones I feel more safe around?

All in all, I know I'm going to hit 500 soon, and I'm keeping an open mind as far as my next move goes. If you're a fellow gainer, I suggest doing everything you can to put yourself in an environment that won't hold you back.

Much love and gratitude to all of you, as always,

Tom (HighCalPal)