Maideneir Blog Post #2: My Transgender Story

Hellooooooooooo Everyooooooooone!!

I hope you are all doing well today! Today's blog post is a personal one about myself! How I discovered that I'm trans and why I haven't been able to fully transition.

Unlike many transgender people, I didn't know I was trans until I was 12 years old. Growing up I hated being me, but I didn't know why. I found a lot of comfort in playing video games and playing pretend. I would always pretend to be someone else like, Link from Zelda, Sonic, Anakin Skywalker, ETC... I even tried to change my real name, but my Mom wouldn't let me. I just really didn't like being myself and I never knew why.

Then when I was 12, I was sitting in class and I overheard a conversation. A guy and girl were arguing about which gender had it easier. It was really dumb, the guy was like "well girls get to sit when they pee!" And the girl was like "ya well guys don't have to deal with periods!" And so on and so on. It was a really dumb throw away conversation, but it really got me thinking. For the entire summer after hearing that conversation, I was thinking about how much it would be cool to be a girl. Wearing cute clothes, putting on make-up, having boobs, having a child, just being seen as a girl... It would be a dream come true.

This feeling has never gone away. I want to be a girl still to this day. Even to the point that I had gone through the process and was receiving hormones. However, because of certain presidents and governmental decisions in America, I was afraid of losing my job. So I quit my transition and decided to just endure being a guy. For context, I'm a government employee. And I'm planning on continuing my transition once I leave.

As some of you know, I went on a looooong hiatus. The reason was because it was right after I decided to end my transition. I was very very sad. I couldn't bring myself to make these comics when I was so upset. I tried burying these feelings. To just accept, I'm a guy and there's nothing I can do about it. But after a lot of soul searching I realized, that making comics does give me a certain sense of comfort. I get to live my dreams through my own characters. It's a little sad, but it is helping me get through this.

I guess that brings me to today, I love making my comics. It gives me that little bit of comfort to make up for not being able to transition at this point in my life. And it gives me hope for the future in a weird way.

I guess for the discussion in the comments for this post... I'd like to hear any stories that you all are willing to share about your own transitions. Or struggles with transitions. I want to be a person you can open up to and talk about your victories or woes. Feel free to DM me if you want/need to talk.