The future

So here's what going on.

Basically I am unemployed and have no consistent amount of income coming in for what I do in order to help pay rent, my mom has been helping me with paying my share of the rent, but currently she's not making a lot of money either with her work. The family would like to buy a house for all of us to live in instead of continuing to rent, but we can't really get a mortgage because I barely have an income to contribute. My brother and his wife, with their baby, are thinking about moving out and living on their own at the end of the year if I don't find a real job ASAP and essentially abandoning me if I don't do something soon.

What it comes down to is that I can't continue to draw and make illustrations at the rate that I have been. For the past 10 years, I've been trying to show to my family that I can be an artist and draw content for a living through the internet. Unfortunately as hard as I tried and how much skill I've learned and developed, they do not see it as a real job in their eyes and I have not been able to prove that I can do it otherwise for 10 years with the amount of money that I make. No amount of commissions or money I get right now, unless it's consistent and sustainable throughout the months, will be able to change this current situation. I've seen the potential possibility of being able to actually draw for a living if I kept it up, but it unfortunately turned into a downward spike that has not reached that high since.

So my options are:

(1) continue with what I'm doing with drawing and hope for the best and possibly be abandoned and left alone to fend for myself if I'm unable to earn a consistent amount of income.

(2) really scale back on drawing and find a crappy job for a year until we're able to buy a house.

Basically I almost have no choice in the matter and would have to push drawing to the sidelines as not the main focus anymore. If I did live on my own and rent an apartment or place with someone else, that would cost well over $1000-$2000 CAD and just isn't an option because I obviously can't afford that. As I'm just an extra mouth to feed on the table and extra baggage taking up room that's not doing anything good for the family, a lot of what's going to happen in the coming months depends on what I'm going to do, it's a lot of pressure and stress. I've now become the bridge that basically connects my family together if we want to continue to live together, or else that bridge will fall down and we become apart.

If you've been following my past posts about moving and buying a house and my dad, to recap what has happened these past 3 years, dad went crazy and left and married some bitch, demanded money from us, forced us to sell our home without thinking about what a hinderance it will be to us, now we're renting and trying to buy a new house in one of the most expensive cities in Canada.

This is a sudden thing brought up to me and I'm still trying to process all of this and thinking of how to even begin. 10 years is a long time for things to have happened and should have happened by now that is expected of me that I never did because I was so focused on drawing. And while I am proud of what I've been able to draw because of the years of learning how to draw, unfortunately it hasn't lead to much. Maybe it's because what I enjoy drawing is very very niche so I doesn't get much attention from people and they just glance over it, maybe there isn't much variety with my work, or maybe my art is just average and not good enough.

What ever it is, maybe it's time to do something else and move on and focus on other things now.

As for Patreon, there is a possibility of it being scaled back or content being less in the near future where I may not have time for it anymore. So this is just to give you all a heads up if you still would like to continue to support me. I understand if you decide to leave and save your money.

Your support is still appreciated if you continue to do so.