Undeserved Love Part I

Hello you!

I hope your week is starting great! I already started writing this article a little while ago, but Patreon unfortunately doesn't save my drafts as drafts lately, so I have to rewrite it and sometimes it makes me lose motivation, a little bit and delays my posts! But here I am!! Today I am going to talk about my dear photoshoot: Undeserved Love!

THE CONCEPT
Once upon a time, at the beginning of a new relationship, I was convinced that my partner wasn't real. Indeed, since they were nice to me, it was an obvious conclusion for me: they were a pure creation of my little head. After years of trauma and self hate, I couldn't conceive that someone could just love me on a nice way. So many times, when we were in public spaces, I would try my best to not show that I was having interactions with them. I would hide my mouth when talking to him, or make really settle movements towards them.

In this photoshoot, I wanted to portray how Self Hate ave Trauma can shape the way we receive love.

THE MODEL(S)
For this photoshoot, I immediately thought Audrey (@audgpus) and Anastasia (@anastasiaxmiller) would be perfect! I feel really comfortable experiencing art with them, and they both fitted the aesthetic I was looking for. Anastasia has long dark hair and has a really sensual vibe, like I used to at the time. Audrey has such an androgynous loving vibe. I didn't really wanted to focus on this character's gender so she was ideal!

PROPS/OUTFITS
I spent way too much time and money trying to find how I would cover Audrey in glitter. Originally, I was picturing full body shots, which would have made the glitter process way more complicated. But based on the little space we had, it naturally became more close ups, more intimate. Which I actually like! For Anastasia's dress, I asked her to bring something light and flowy and I think she nailed it!

LIGHTING
Of course, Dan Leonard (@danleonard__) was part of this project! You know how much I love working with him! I wanted a really soft and dreamy vibe, but it had to fit perfectly with the result I wanted: Anastasia being the focus and Audrey being blurry and shiny around her!

ANECDOTES
Anastasia and Audrey barely knew each other at the time. They briefly saw each other at a party before the photoshoot. That's why I am so impressed by how well they played it! Their intimacy looked real and intense and that's exactly what I was looking for! After the photoshoot, Audrey left, covered with glitter and with only a tuxedo jacket and went straight to the boogie grocery store across the street from my place! I bet she bright up everybody's day! I cried (a lot) when I edited these pictures. As a way to let go this part of my life and feel lighter, ready to move on.

CONCLUSION This photoshoot was such a pleasure to put together. It helped me realize my potential and want to create more meaningful art.

I'll be back with Undeserved Love II very soon!