Flavie Eidel

Angel - April 2019

Added 2019-04-03 19:18:56 +0000 UTC

It's impossible to see the angel, unless you first have a notion of it.

Here is the full set of Tuesday's session and some explanations :)

I really wanted to do a photoshoot portraying a dreamy angel using these wings I found for $0.25 each and my super talented boyfriend's skills and vision (he is a Light Wizard).

For the occasion, we used a fog machine, the wings (I already had before but I had to cut and create the attach system), oil for a shiny effect and Dan's lights.

I liked the idea of making the wings look fake in showing the strings to hold them, especially with the location (my living room), like a angel costume and not an actual biblical angel.

I didn't know why I wanted to put together this photoshoot. Sometimes, I just let my creativity guide me and bring some feelings from deep inside me, and that's what happened with this photoshoot.

For years now, my brain "splits" often, and make me idealize people and suddenly if they happen to do anything triggering to me, I suddenly see them as monsters. I'm really ashamed of it and I isolate myself a lot to not have to make people have to deal with this part of me. I don't think I've ever explained this to anyone ever before a couple of months ago. I've discovered lately that it was because of my mental health and that it is a "common thing" with people who have my disorders.

This photoshoot definitely portrays the first stage of my relationships: When I immediately see the person as an absolutely perfect angel, like a missing piece in my life. I am seduced by everything they do or say and justify anything "wrong" they could do.

I already photographed the "split" moment and will post it very soon. I am still trying to find inspiration for the other part, when everything gets darker.